Crypt Shyfter: Exile

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<div style="text-align: center;">\ CRYPT SHYFTER: EXILE [[Start Game|storyMode]] [[Music Settings & Credits|settings]] [[Kung Fu Space Barbarians|uba]] </div> <<audio "track1" loop play>>\

You jam your sword into the ground and wipe the sweat off your forehead. You only succeed in smearing tracks of dirt across your face, but you don't mind- it makes you look more intimidating. Badass. [[Continue|layBack]]

<div style="text-align: center;">\ Written by KungFuSpaceBarbarian Cover art by Hankerin Ferinale Music: Track 1: TheDoubleOne | On The Cosmic Prairie: Joey4Track | Conspiracy Theorem: I0TA | Into The Dark: TSRBand | Heart of the Mountain: Noisysundae Open the sidebar at any time to select music. [[Start Game|storyMode]] [[Music Settings & Credits|settings]] [[Kung Fu Space Barbarians|uba]] </div>\

Well, yes. But who are you really? [[I am a hero|hero]] [[I am a warrior|warrior]] [[I am a badass|badass]] <<set $alien = "Vulma">>\

Well, yes. But who are you really? [[I am a hero|hero]] [[I am a warrior|warrior]] [[I am a badass|badass]] <<set $alien = "Zalbraak">>\

You lie back on the grass and gaze up at the midnight sky. You can see the faces of your ancestors up there, immortalized in the stars. They watch over you now, but looking out into that infinite darkness makes you feel so small. [[Continue|whoAreYou]]

You begin to ask yourself the deep questions, like: Who am I? [[I am a barbarian prince|barbarianPrince]] [[I am a barbarian princess|barbarianPrincess]]

Hero, they call you. When the saber-cats prowl the streets in the night, who is there to keep the village safe? When a warrior breaks his leg on the battlefield, who is there to carry him home? When a child is lost in the haunted jungles, who is there to fight the monsters and bring her back to her parents? You are. [[Continue|theNextPart]]

You are a warrior. Despite your father's misgivings, you are the greatest fighter your tribe has ever known. When the raiders come from the Barren Wastes, you stand ready to fight them. When your village is threatened by armies of skeletons, you are the one to smash them to pieces. And when darkness closes in on those you love, you are the light that guides them to safety. [[Continue|theNextPart]]

Badass. That is the name your people have bestowed upon you. When the Dinosaur Kings invaded your village, it was you who slaughtered their leader and wore his horned skull for a helmet. It was you who wrestled the mighty T-Rex and saved your people from certain death. When everyone else fled in terror, it was you who rose up to fight. [[Continue|theNextPart]]

But despite all this, there is one thing your courage and brawn cannot combat- your father's ailing mind. [[Continue|ailingMind]]

Your father, the once great king of your tribe, has grown feeble and weak these past few days. He was once a proud warrior, a beacon of hope to all he served, a living legend among your people. But those days have passed- and how quickly his mind dissolved into madness! [[Continue|madness]]

Strange, indeed. How could a man so powerful succumb to such crippling illness so quickly? You have your suspicions. His weakening began around the time his new advisor showed up... the strange man from Bel'Thazir. What was it that first aroused your suspicions? [[I caught the vizier using strange voodoo magic|voodooMagic]] [[I saw the vizier slip something into my father's ale|fathersAle]] [[I overheard the vizier talking to someone who did not exist|vizierTalking]]

The vizier's magic was very peculiar indeed! You entered the throne room late one night and found the vizier stirring a pot of bubbling green goo in the center of the room. He had surrounded himself with burning candles and carved strange symbols into the floor. [[Continue|voodoo2]]

That was a strange encounter... You had just crept down to the kitchens for a midnight snack when you heard the soft shuffling of slippered feet. As you peered into the darkness, you noticed the vizier crushing leaves into your father's private keg of Dragon Ale. [[Continue|fathersAle2]]

What a strange encounter that was! As you wandered through the village late one night, the sound of raised voices drew your attention. You crept closer to investigate. When you looked within the offending hut, you saw the vizier pacing furiously. He was clearly alone, but he was having a heated conversation with... someone. [[Continue|heatedConvo]]

A deep, echoing voice seemed to be giving commands to the vizier, but the words were foreign and laced with malice. As you looked closer, you noticed not one, but TWO shadows cast by the flickering firelight. [[Continue|twoShadows]]

You leaned closer still to get a better look, but at that moment the fire went out and suddenly you found yourself lying in your own bed. It could have been a dream, of course... but you don't really believe that, do you? [[I was really tired... It was probably a dream.|probablyDream]] [[Hell no! That bastard was up to something!|upToSomething]]

It sounds to me like your primal barbarian instincts could use some sharpening. Sure, I suppose it COULD have been a dream, but how do you explain what you saw earlier this morning? That shadow was back again... and it was your own father who was talking to it! [[I forgot about that... until just now. Strange.|lookToSword]] [[The vizier... that bastard! He must die!|lookToSword]]

Your primal barbarian instincts are as sharp as the fangs of a saber-cat. Your suspicions were confirmed this morning. That shadow was back again... and it was your own father who was talking to it! [[I forgot about that... until just now. Strange.|lookToSword]] [[The vizier... that bastard! He must die!|lookToSword]]

You grab your sword and sprint across the training grounds, kicking up a spray of dirt behind you like a rooster's tail. You charge through the city streets, barreling over an unwitting thief attempting to pilfer a few coins through a window. You smash through the main palace gates and find the vizier standing at your father's throne. [[Continue|fathersThrone]]

You sit up and look to your sword. The light of the moon glitters off its polished blade. Your sword has served you well all these long years. You can't remember why you decided to train with it again tonight, at midnight, but something... compelled you... to leave the palace. [[I must get back immediately!|backToPalace]] [[The vizier plans to murder my father tonight!|backToPalace]]

He is holding the Crown of your people, the Crown that always adorned your fathers head. The bright gemstones have taken on a dull appearance, and the glittering gold seems to have turned to rust. A drop of blood falls from the Crown and plops on the floor. [[Continue|bloodyCrown]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ Vizier: Why if it isn't the heroic little prince... I must say, you've arrived much sooner than I had anticipated. But this changes nothing. You may leave now, boy. [[You have no power to dismiss me, cur!|noPower]] [[What have you done to my father?|whatHaveYou]] [[I'll flay the skin off your back, sorcerer!|flayTheSkin]] <<else>>\ Vizier: Why if it isn't the heroic little princess... I must say, you've arrived much sooner than I had anticipated. But this changes nothing. You may leave now, girl. [[You have no power to dismiss me, cur!|noPower2]] [[What have you done to my father?|whatHaveYou2]] [[I'll flay the skin off your back, sorcerer!|flayTheSkin]]<</if>>

Vizier: Quite the contrary, my little princeling! I have all the power I need right here. [[Continue|allThePower]]

Vizier: I have liberated him from his mortal coil, and you will soon share his fate. Once the people of this village hear about the tragic deaths of their beloved King and Prince both in the same night... I will become King. [[You will never rule this land, demon!|flayTheSkin]] [[I'll flay the skin off your back, sorcerer!|flayTheSkin]]

Vizier: Your sword is no match for my magic! [[Continue|vizierFight]]

Vizier: Quite the contrary, my darling little princess! I have all the power I need right here. [[Continue|allThePower]]

Vizier: I have liberated him from his mortal coil, and you will soon share his fate. Once the people of this village hear about the tragic deaths of their beloved King and Princess both in the same night... I will become King. [[You will never rule this land, demon!|flayTheSkin]] [[I'll flay the skin off your back, sorcerer!|flayTheSkin]]

You raise your sword and leap at the vizier, but he lifts his hand and suddenly you find yourself frozen in mid-air! His eyes begin to glow and he mutters a word under his breath. Just then a swirling vortex of magical energy surrounds your body. [[Continue|warped]]

The vizier places the bloody Crown upon his head and smiles at you. His crooked teeth remind you of the fangs of a vampire you once killed. [[What have you done to my father?|whatHaveYou]] [[Prepare to die, bastard!|vizierFight]]

You drew your sword and approached the vizier, but at that moment the flames of the candles went out and suddenly you found yourself lying in your own bed. It could have been a dream, of course... but you don't really believe that, do you? [[I was really tired... It was probably a dream.|probablyDream2]] [[Hell no! That bastard was up to something!|upToSomething2]]

It sounds to me like your primal barbarian instincts could use some sharpening. Sure, I suppose it COULD have been a dream, but how do you explain what you saw earlier this morning? When you returned to the throne room you found no trace of the strange carvings on the floor, but you did notice a single drop of dried candle wax on the hem of the vizier's robe. [[I forgot about that... until just now. Strange.|lookToSword]] [[The vizier... that bastard! He must die!|lookToSword]]

Your primal barbarian instincts are as sharp as the fangs of a saber-cat. Your suspicions were confirmed this morning. When you returned to the throne room you found no trace of the strange carvings on the floor, but you did notice a single drop of dried candle wax on the hem of the vizier's robe. [[I forgot about that... until just now. Strange.|lookToSword]] [[The vizier... that bastard! He must die!|lookToSword]]

You drew your sword and approached the vizier, but at that moment the candles in the kitchen went out and suddenly you found yourself lying in your own bed. It could have been a dream, of course... but you don't really believe that, do you? [[I was really tired... It was probably a dream.|probablyDream3]] [[Hell no! That bastard was up to something!|upToSomething3]]

It sounds to me like your primal barbarian instincts could use some sharpening. Sure, I suppose it COULD have been a dream, but how do you explain what you saw earlier this morning? When you returned to the kitchens you found no sign of the crushed leaves, but the oak of your father's ale keg had been scratched slightly, as if someone had tried to pry open the lid with a knife. [[I forgot about that... until just now. Strange.|lookToSword]] [[The vizier... that bastard! He must die!|lookToSword]]

Your primal barbarian instincts are as sharp as the fangs of a saber-cat. Your suspicions were confirmed this morning. When you returned to the kitchens you found no sign of the crushed leaves, but the oak of your father's ale keg had been scratched slightly, as if someone had tried to pry open the lid with a knife. [[I forgot about that... until just now. Strange.|lookToSword]] [[The vizier... that bastard! He must die!|lookToSword]]

You feel your body being sucked into the vortex, but you're powerless to stop it. The last thing you hear is the cackling laughter of the evil vizier... and then darkness. [[Continue|alienPlanet]]

You open your eyes. You must have hit your head pretty hard, because you see two moons in the sky overhead. You're lying in the middle of a desert surrounded by a herd of animals grazing on dry grass. [[Continue|grazinganimals]]

You approach the canyon. Just then you notice two blue-skinned humanoids charge into view. They're fleeing from a group of armored warriors swinging glittering axes and riding on dinosaur steeds! [[Hide behind some fallen rocks|hiderocks]] [[Charge forward and save the aliens|savealiens2]]

You move yourself behind some of the larger creatures. Now that your head is beginning to clear, you're able to take a closer look at them. They're unlike any animals you've ever seen before. They look like a cross between camels and lizards. Their scaly skin is purple. Each one has three yellow eyes floating over their heads. [[Continue|vulmaanddie]]

You can hear the sound of fighting in the distance, but it's getting closer. The commotion seems to be coming from a nearby rocky canyon. [[Approach the canyon|canyon]] [[Hide among the grazing creatures|grazing]]

Just then you notice two blue-skinned humanoids charge into view. They're fleeing from a group of armored warriors swinging glittering axes and riding on dinosaur steeds! [[Remain hidden|hidden]] [[Leap out and save the aliens|savealiens]]

You remain hidden with a firm grip on your sword as the aliens get closer. One of the armored riders pulls out a metal tube and points it at the fleeing aliens. ZOW! There is a flash of light and one of the aliens collapses to the ground. [[Remain hidden|rmh]] [[Try to save the second alien|trysve]]

One of the armored riders pulls out a metal tube and points it at the fleeing aliens. ZOW! There is a flash of light and one of the aliens collapses to the ground. [[Continue|trysve]]

One of the armored riders pulls out a metal tube and points it at the fleeing aliens. ZOW! There is a flash of light and one of the aliens collapses to the ground. [[Continue|trysve2]]

Fear takes hold of your heart and you try to remain hidden amongst the grazing creatures, but their dull eyes are now filled with terror. The sight of the approaching dinosaurs has spooked them. They flee deeper into the desert, leaving you completely exposed. [[Continue|fleesderk]]

You leap out from behind the grazing creatures and tackle the warrior holding the metal death tube an instant before he's able to fire it a second time. His dinosaur mount begins to thrash around in confusion, throwing the other riders off balance. [[Fight the warriors|warfight]] [[Grab the alien and run|grabalien]]

Fear takes hold of your heart and you remain hidden like a coward as the second alien is gunned down. The armored warriors discuss something briefly before turning their mounts and heading back the way they came. [[Follow the riders from a distance|followriders]] [[Inspect the bodies of the dead aliens|deads]]

You spring forward and tackle the warrior holding the metal death tube an instant before he's able to fire it a second time. His dinosaur mount begins to thrash around in confusion, throwing the other riders off balance. [[Fight the warriors|warfight]] [[Grab the alien and run|grabalien]]

You pursue the riders, careful to maintain a safe distance so as not to be seen. The riders arrive at a metal platform, which they gather on in a circle. One of them seems to speak to his wrist, and then there is a blinding flash of light. When your vision clears, the riders have vanished. [[Investigate the metal platform|metalplatform]] [[Wander through the desert|wanderdesert]]

You inspect the bodies of the dead aliens. Their bodies are badly burned from the ray-gun attacks, and their weapons are primitive: wooden spears and stone daggers. These creatures have nothing worth taking. [[Follow the trail of the riders|followriders2]]

You raise your sword and smash it against the closest warrior's neck, but the blade shatters on impact. Their armor seems to be nearly unbreakable. You snatch up one of their fallen axes. It begins to sizzle with electrical energy at your touch. [[Continue|yourtouch]]

You grab the alien and sprint away from the armored warriors. The alien begins to protest but your grip is iron. Just then something smashes to the ground in front of you and you both skid to a halt. One of the armored warriors rises from the billowing cloud of sand. [[Continue|attack]]

You attack with the sparking battle axe and this time manage to cleave the warrior's head from his neck. The other warriors turn their attention from the alien they were chasing to you. [[Steal a dinosaur mount|stealmount]] [[Fight them on foot|onfoot]]

You leap up on one of the riderless dinosaurs and swing the sizzling axe over your head in an arc, slicing one of the armored warriors in half. You urge your raptor mount forward and it begins to devour the closest warrior while you cleave your way through the rest with your axe. [[Continue|cleaving]]

You swing the sizzling axe over your head in an arc, slicing one of the armored warriors in half. You twirl the axe again and cleave your way through the rest, sending severed arms and heads flying in all directions. [[Continue|cleaving2]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ You spring off your dinosaur mount and stand before the alien you saved amidst a pile of bloody corpses. She begins speaking to you in a strange language. Once it becomes apparent you can't understand her, the alien spins a dial on her chest. [[Continue|languagebarrier]] <<else>>\ You spring off your dinosaur mount and stand before the alien you saved amidst a pile of bloody corpses. He begins speaking to you in a strange language. Once it becomes apparent you can't understand him, the alien spins a dial on his chest. [[Continue|languagebarrier]]<</if>>

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ Suddenly the alien's voice changes to the sound of a barking dog. She spins the dial again and you hear the sound of a clucking chicken. With each turn of the dial, the alien speaks in a different language - you hear growls, squawks, braying, mooing, and high-pitched screeching that hurts your ears. [[Continue|langlang2]] <<else>>\ Suddenly the alien's voice changes to the sound of a barking dog. He spins the dial again and you hear the sound of a clucking chicken. With each turn of the dial, the alien speaks in a different language - you hear growls, squawks, braying, mooing, and high-pitched screeching that hurts your ears. [[Continue|langlang2]]<</if>>

The second alien reaches out to you, but the armored warrior aims the metal tube and fires. The alien's head explodes in a spray of goo, drenching you in goopy green blood. The headless body collapses into your arms. You immediately cast it aside in disgust. [[Continue|disgust]]

The lead rider barks a command at the other warriors and approaches you. [[Wait to see what he wants|wait]] [[Attack him|atklead]] [[Run for your life|forloife]]

You stand your ground. The armored warrior dismounts and stands before you. He is significantly taller than you, and the armor he wears appears to be indestructible. He begins speaking in a garbled alien language you don't understand. He pounds his chest in a threatening manner and points to the ground. [[Kneel|dialspinning]] [[Attack him|atklead]] [[Run for your life|forloife]]

You raise your sword and smash it against the warrior's neck, but the blade shatters on impact. His armor seems to be nearly unbreakable. The warrior smashes you in the face with his metal axe and you black out. The riders search your body for loot but are disappointed to find nothing of value. They leave you to die in the blistering heat of the twin suns. [[Continue|andraxxans]]

You spin around and sprint away from the armored warriors. You feel a wave of heat as something flies over your head. A glittering object smashes to the ground in front of you and you skid to a halt. One of the armored warriors rises from the billowing cloud of sand. [[Continue|atklead]]

The armored warrior laughs and smacks you in the back of the head with his battle axe. You immediately black out. The riders search your body for loot but are disappointed to find nothing of value. They leave you to die in the blistering heat of the twin suns. [[Continue|andraxxans]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ The alien spins the dial again and this time you're able to understand her. [[Continue|talky]] <<else>>\ The alien spins the dial again and this time you're able to understand him. [[Continue|talky]]<</if>>

$alien: ...blasted dial! Nothing can ever be easy, can it? Someone should invent a button that automatically identifies the species and detects the native language. With over fifty quadrillion known languages throughout the universe, all this random guess-work is rather irritating. Wait - do you understand my words, warrior? [[That shrieking damn near burst my eardrums.|shriek]] [[What the hell are you?|shriek]]

$alien: Excellent! I knew I’d hit on it eventually. Bipedal, stands erect, anatomy and physiology comparable to the Tozark. Narrowed the search to about twelve thousand possibilities, fifty-three and a half percent of which were highly unlikely to match organism’s speech patterns. Quite simple, really. Still, automatic language recognition would be a welcome upgrade. [[What the hell are you babbling about?|babbling]] [[You're an odd creature, aren't you?|babbling]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ $alien: Listen to me prattling on about the shortcomings of a Morphological Dial- how rude of me! I am called $alien. What do you call yourself, warrior? [[I'm a barbarian.|imabarb]] [[I'm a prince.|prince]] <<else>>\ $alien: Listen to me prattling on about the shortcomings of a Morphological Dial- how rude of me! I am called $alien. What do you call yourself, warrior? [[I'm a barbarian.|imabarb]] [[I'm a princess.|prince]]<</if>>

$alien: How marvelously primitive! From what planet do you hail, barbarian? I have never seen a specimen quite like yourself. [[Planet?|whatplanet]] [[What the hell is this place?|whatsthisplace]]

$alien: Shergblatt forgive me! I am standing in the presence of royalty and I did not know it! How rude of me! From what planet do you hail, Your Highness? Please excuse my ignorance, but I have never seen a specimen quite like yourself. [[Planet?|whatplanet]] [[What the hell is this place?|whatsthisplace]]

You raise your sword and smash it against the warrior's neck, but the blade shatters on impact. His armor seems to be nearly unbreakable. You snatch up one of the fallen axes. It begins to sizzle with electrical energy at your touch. [[Continue|yourtouch]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ Your chest heaves. You stand before the alien you saved amidst a pile of bloody corpses. She begins speaking to you in a strange language. Once it becomes apparent you can't understand her, the alien spins a dial on her chest. [[Continue|languagebarrier]] <<else>>\ Your chest heaves. You stand before the alien you saved amidst a pile of bloody corpses. He begins speaking to you in a strange language. Once it becomes apparent you can't understand him, the alien spins a dial on his chest. [[Continue|languagebarrier]]<</if>>

When you come to, you notice one of those strange blue-skinned humanoids standing over you. It is speaking to you in a strange language. Once it becomes apparent you can't understand the words, the alien spins a dial on its chest. [[Continue|languagebarrier]]

$alien: Yes, your homeworld. The little rock you live on in these vast cosmos. Where is it? And how did you get here? I don't see any starships or teleportation devices nearby. [[What the hell is this place?|whatsthisplace]] [[The vizier...!|vizierhaha]]

$alien: This little planet is called Fuzonia. [[Fuzon... what?|fuzon]] [[What the devil is going on here?|fuzon]]

$alien: I beg your pardon? [[An evil wizard cast a spell on me and sent me here. I must find a way back home!|backtohome]] [[A dirty shitbag banished me to this place so he could take over my village. I need to get back home.|backtohome]]

$alien: Home!? You don't intend to stay here and fight? [[Fight what?|fightwhat]] [[My fight is back home... wherever home is.|whereverohom]]

$alien: Aha! Silly me! I can see the confusion on your face. The proper name of our planet is FZNX-432, but that is quite difficult to say in normal conversation. The locals call this planet Fuzonia, but you must identify planets by the names listed in the TransStar Directory, as do most space-faring species. [[Your words confuse me.|yourwaod]] [[I don't care about your space garbage. I must return home and destroy the vizier!|vizierhaha]]

$alien: Forgive me, I am little more than an interpreter and a scientist. I simply marvel at all the wonders the universe presents to me each and every day. But it is clear that you are a warrior. Our people need warriors now. Did the gods send you? Have you come here to fight? [[Fight what?|fightwhat]] [[My fight is back home... wherever home is.|whereverohom]]

<<if visited("heatexhast")>>\ $alien: Why, the Andraxxans, of course! The armored warriors who ride on dinosaurs? Surely you must have seen them passing this way. [[What the hell is an Anthrax?|anthrax]] [[Those shiny bastards? Why do you fear them?|anthrax]] <<else>>\ $alien: Why, the Andraxxans, of course! You slew a whole platoon of them yourself just moments ago! Have you forgotten so quickly? What species are you again? [[What the hell is an Anthrax?|anthrax]] [[Those shiny bastards? Why do you fear them?|anthrax]]<</if>>

$alien: You mean... you aren't here to liberate us from the Andraxxans? [[What the hell is an Anthrax?|anthrax]] [[Those shiny bastards? Why do you fear them?|anthrax]]

$alien: The Andraxxans came to our planet many moonturns ago. They are a powerful species with spaceships and ray guns! Our wooden spears and stone knives are useless against them. But you defeated them with such ease! You are indeed the most powerful warrior I have ever seen. Won't you help us fight them? [[What quarrel do they have with you?|whatquarrel]] [[If I help you fight these metal warriors, will you help me find a way home?|findaway]] [[If you can't defend yourselves, you are unfit to live. Only the strong survive!|strongsurvive]]

$alien: The Andraxxans are seeking a sacred temple hidden deep within the crust of our planet. If they find it, they will perform an unholy ritual to summon the Star King. And if they do that... the entire galaxy is doomed. [[Star King?|starking]] [[If I help you fight these metal warriors, will you help me find a way home?|findaway]] [[If you can't defend yourselves, you are unfit to live. Only the strong survive!|strongsurvive]]

$alien: That seems most agreeable. Without you I fear we would all be vaporized into space dust. [[Fine. I'll help you fight your war.|illhelp]] [[I have no time for this. My people need me. I must find a way home immediately.|immediate]]

$alien: Excellent! This is most wonderful news! Your species must be very highly respected across the stars for both your skill in combat and your strong sense of honor. Please, follow me. I will lead you to our village. Oh! Before I forget, take this. [[Continue|tothevillage]]

$alien: I understand... You have a duty to your people, as I do to mine. Very well, barbarian. We part ways here. I wish you all the luck in the galaxy on your quest. I hope you find your way home. [[Continue|alienleaves]]

$alien: Y-you... how barbaric! I can see now that it was silly of me to request your aide. Your species is most deplorable and utterly lacking in honor. As you are clearly far superior to us Fuzonians, I will leave you alone. Farewell. [[Continue|alienleaves]]

The alien turns and leaves without another word. [[Continue|wayhome]]

The endless desert stretches before you. You march through the sand without any real sense of direction. As you walk, things start to get a little weird. One moment you're walking through a barren desert, and the next you step onto a pile of snow atop a high mountain peak. After taking a few more steps you find yourself in the desert again. [[Continue|weirdwalk]]

$alien: The Star King is a powerful interdimensional creature the Andraxxans revere as a god. They have made themselves in his image... part flesh, part machine. But they still lack the Star King's ability to shapeshift. I believe you have heard the term "Shyfter" before? The Star King is their progenitor. He was the first. He comes from beyond time. [[If I help you fight these metal warriors, will you help me find a way home?|findaway]] [[If you can't defend yourselves, you are unfit to live. Only the strong survive!|strongsurvive]]

$alien removes the strange language dial and straps it to your chest, then spins it a few times. [[Continue|thedial]]

Your eyes grow wide with wonder. The sky is filled with floating stone buildings- an entire city floats over a seemingly endless void stretching far below. Just then you notice two huge sharks flying towards you! [[Draw your weapon|drawweapon]] [[Urge the loompa to turn and run|drawweapon]]

$alien: Wait! The sky sharks are not predatory beasts, and they mean you no harm. They will ferry us up to the city. Travel by sky shark is the quickest way to and from the surface. [[The wonders of your planet never cease to amaze me.|nevercease]] [[By the Allfather, I wish I were back home!|nevercease]]

$alien shrugs and hops on one of the sky sharks. You do the same, clinging to its back with an iron grip. The flight is both exhilarating and terrifying, and it isn't short enough, by your reckoning. You're extremely relieved when you feel solid stone beneath your feet once more. [[Continue|arrival]]

$alien: Welcome to Duskana, the Great Floating City of Fuzonia! Perhaps it would be best to get you acquainted with the basics of our culture before we meet the Zarkaja and discuss your role in the war with the Andraxxans. Is there anything you'd like to know about our culture? [[Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

<div style="text-align: center;">\ Special thanks to these Kung Fu Space Barbarians! You guys are the best! HeRoBlowe Phronemophobia [[Start Game|storyMode]] [[Music Settings & Credits|settings]] [[I want to be a Kung Fu Space Barbarian too!|https://www.patreon.com/kungfuspacebarbaian]] </div>\

$alien: This, my friend, is the most popular re-fueling station on Fuzonia: Uncle Smix's Pizza Parlor. I suggest the bacon pizza with a side of fries. You won't find crispier Fuzon Fries anywhere else in the galaxy than Uncle Smix's! [[Pizza... is this the primary food source of your people?|primaryfood]] [[Let's eat!|letseat]] [[I changed my mind, I'm not hungry.|nothungry]]

<<if visited("pizzaparty")>>\ $alien: You'll shit yourself stupid if you eat too much pizza! [[What's a Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]] <<else>>\ $alien leads you through the city streets. Your eyes are dazzled by all you see. Strange blue aliens walk to and fro, going about their days. A wonderful smell wafts by and you see what looks like a tavern up ahead. Dozens of Fuzonians are sitting on stools eating slices of hot bread slathered in melted cheese and sauce. Your mouth begins to water. [[Whatever that is, I want some!|pizzaparty]] [[What deviltry is this!? Surely the gods cannot allow food to smell so good!|pizzaparty]]<</if>>

$alien: Fuzonia does not have a standing army. There are several secret monasteries across this world that teach martial disciplines, but those techniques are used for self-defense, not aggression. [[I would like to learn more about your alien combat.|aliencombat]] [[Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

<<if visited("whynot")>>\ $alien: I think we've played enough video games for one day. [[What's a Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]] <<else>>\ $alien: That is the arcade lounge. We Fuzonians spend most of our free time playing video games in the arcades of Duskana. Would you like to play a game? [[Sure, why not?|whynot]] [[Perhaps another time.|anothertime]]<</if>>

$alien points to a large floating castle in the distance. [[Continue|flaotin]]

$alien: Oh, yes! We Fuzonians eat pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We are pride ourselves on having the best pizza in the sector! [[Let's eat!|letseat]] [[I changed my mind, I'm not hungry.|nothungry]]

$alien orders you both a slice of pizza and a sugary beverage. You've never tasted anything so sweet in your life. $alien calls the drink "cola" and you immediately scarf it down and order another. A waitress places the pizza and a basket of fries in front of you. [[Continue|devour]]

<<if visited("imabarb")>>\ $alien: You don't know what you're missing out on, my barbaric friend! Is there anything else you'd like to know about our culture? [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the High Council now.|highcoulncil]] <<else>>\ $alien: You don't know what you're missing out on, Your Majesty! Perhaps we can stop by another time. Is there anything else you'd like to know about our culture? [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]<</if>>

You devour the pizza with a smile on your face. It is hot and delicious, but it seriously burns the roof of your mouth. You don't mind though, because it's so freaking good. [[Continue|leaveshop]]

After you finish eating, $alien leads you back outside. You burp loudly, causing a few passing Fuzonians to look at you in confusion. [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien: The Zarkaja is our leader. She is similar to a Queen, though she has no royal blood. She gains her position by defeating the previous Zarkaja in shardakka - an honor duel. [[What is an honor duel?|honorduel]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the High Council now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien: An honor duel is a combat fought between two individuals to resolve a dispute when one's station is challenged. Shardakka usually occurs when a member of the tribe challenges the current Zarkaja on a decision regarding the well-being of the entire tribe. [[Continue|honorduel2]]

$alien: The battle is fought to the death, or until one combatant surrenders. The victor restores their honor, while the defeated party is shamed. As you can imagine, the Zarkaja is a very formidable warrior. [[How long has the current Zarkaja ruled?|ruled]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the High Council now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien: Lady Ventraxx has ruled Fuzonia for 374 years, 126 days, 13 hours, 26 minutes, and 52.8 seconds. Make that 53 seconds. [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the High Council now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien leads you to the arcade lounge. It is filled with teenage Fuzonians smashing buttons, shooting at video monitors with plastic guns, and dancing on pads of flashing lights. Dozens of empty pizza boxes have been left on tables in the worn out booths nearby, and strange music seems to be playing from everywhere, as if by magic. [[Continue|arcade2]]

$alien: Very well. Perhaps we can game together another time. Is there anything else you would like to know? [[Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

<<if visited("seretnmon")>>\ $alien: The masters have nothing more to teach you. Is there anything else you want to know about our culture? [[What's a Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]] <<else>>\ $alien: I can take you to one of the hidden monasteries if you so desire. I myself am a member of one. The masters there can teach you a very lethal style of kung fu. [[Yes, please take me to this secret monastery.|seretnmon]] [[Perhaps another time.|anothersf]]<</if>>

$alien leads you to a stone building etched with glowing runes. You notice a raised platform in the center of the room. [[Continue|teleto]]

$alien: Very well. Is there anything else you would like to know? [[Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien: This arcade has fighting games, shooting games, and dancing games. What kind of game do you want to play? [[I want to play a fighting game.|fightinggame]] [[I want to play a shooting game.|shootinggame]] [[I want to play a dancing game.|dancinggame]] [[I changed my mind, I don't want to play video games.|chang]]

$alien drops two quarters into a machine and indicates that you should take the controls for Player 2. The game begins and two pixilated alien fighters appear on the screen. You start smashing buttons, but $alien pummels your virtual fighter. You punch the machine in disgust, crushing the control panel. A wispy line of smoke pours out of the destroyed machine. [[Continue|letsgo]]

$alien drops two quarters into a machine and hands you a plastic gun. A predatory beast appears on the screen and charges at you. $alien urges you to shoot, and you begin pulling the trigger on the gun. You are reminded of hunting with a bow back home. You were one of the best archers in your tribe, and you took great pride in your marksmanship. [[Continue|shotin2]]

$alien drops two quarters into a machine and indicates that you should stand on a section of the floor covered in flashing lights. The instructions on the screen tell you to step on a flashing square to score points. You were always the best dancer in the village, so you crack your knuckles and get ready for the game to begin. [[Continue|dancing2]]

$alien: Very well. Is there anything else you would like to know? [[Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien: I think that's enough video games for one day... this way, quickly! [[Continue|runout]]

$alien drags you out of the arcade lounge before the angry manager can yell at you for destroying the machine. [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

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This game is nothing like hunting in real life. It seems like every shot you fire misses it's mark. The virtual monster gets too close and devours your character. The words "YOU ARE DEAD" appear on the screen. Disgusted, you snap the plastic gun in half and smash it through the video monitor. A wispy line of smoke pours out of the destroyed machine. [[Continue|letsgo]]

Funky music starts blasting out of the machine and sections of the floor begin to light up beneath your feet. Your technique is sloppy at first and you miss a few steps, but then you start to find your groove. Before long you're hitting every single beat and the video monitor is shouting something about combos and repeating things like "Unbelievable!" and "You're on fire!" [[Continue|crowd]]

A large crowd of teenagers has formed around you and they're all cheering you on as your score continues to rise. When the music finally ends a big number flashes on the screen next to the words "HIGH SCORE." The gathered teens cheer and suddenly the machine you were using has become the most popular one in the arcade. A large line of excited teenagers forms as you exit the arcade lounge with $alien. [[Continue|somedangin]]

$alien: That was some impressive dancing! I haven't seen anyone move like that in... perhaps my entire life! [[I was the best dancer in my village.|best]] [[That was nothing, all barbarians can dance like that.|best]]

$alien: Splendid! I hope to one day see your village as you have seen mine. Your customs must be simply fascinating! Now, is there anything else you'd like to know about Fuzonia? [[What is a Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[Do you have an army?|havearmy]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

$alien: This is a teleportation room. There are very few on Fuzonia, but this can take you to the monastery. Please, step up on the platform. [[Continue|plotfof]]

You climb up onto the platform. $alien pulls a metal lever and you feel a rush of air begin to swirl around you. Strange glyphs begin to flash beneath your feet and suddenly you're standing alone at the base of a high fog-shrouded mountain. [[Continue|mountain]]

A very old Fuzonian monk approaches you. His robes shimmer around his feet, making it seem as though he is floating. [[Are you one of the kung fu masters?|master]] [[I come seeking knowledge. I wish to learn alien kung fu.|master]]

Zark Vim: Makkana, barbarian. My name is Vim, and I am the Zark of this monastery. [[Makkana?|smk]] [[Zark? Is that like Zarkaja?|zarka]] [[Can you teach me kung fu, old man?|oldman]] [[Where is this place?|whereis]]

Zark Vim: That is correct. A Zark is a leader on Fuzonia. The Zarkaja is our Great Leader. I am the leader of this monastery. I may not be as powerful as the Zarkaja, but I can still teach you how to kick butt. [[Where is this place?|whereis]] [[Please teach me your ways, Zark Vim.|teachmeee]]

Zark Vim: I see patience is not a virtue of your species. Why do you wish to learn kung fu? [[I wish to learn as much about your culture as I can.|learnculture]] [[I have come to fight the Andraxxans and I must learn your secret kung fu if I'm to have any hope of defeating them.|defethe]] [[Well... I mean... I'm already a barbarian in space... so I figured... kung fu... space barbarian... why the fuck not?|wtfnot]]

Zark Vim: We are at the southernmost point of Fuzonia. These are the Jan'Dari Mountains. Legend claims that all life on Fuzonia began at the summit of the highest peak in this mountain range. That is where we now keep our monastery. These mountains are sacred. The air is good for learning kung fu. [[I want to learn how to kick ass!|kickass]] [[Please teach me your ways, Zark Vim.|teachmeee]]

Zark Vim: Why do you wish to learn kung fu? [[I wish to learn as much about your culture as I can.|learnculture]] [[I have come to fight the Andraxxans and I must learn your secret kung fu if I'm to have any hope of defeating them.|defethe]] [[Well... I mean... I'm already a barbarian in space... so I figured... kung fu... space barbarian... why the fuck not?|wtfnot]]

Zark Vim: Indeed? And who's ass is it that you desire to kick? [[I have come to fight the Andraxxans and I must learn your secret kung fu if I'm to have any hope of defeating them.|defethe]] [[Well... I mean... I'm already a barbarian in space... so I figured... kung fu... space barbarian... why the fuck not?|wtfnot]]

Zark Vim: The mysteries of Fuzonia will not reveal themselves to an outsider in a single day, but perhaps we will make some progress. The quest for greater knowledge and acceptance is most admirable, and I can see you have a good heart. Please, follow me. [[Continue|zimzam]]

Zark Vim: An admirable goal. Please, follow me. [[Continue|zimzam]]

Zark Vim: Point taken. Please, follow me. [[Continue|zimzam]]

Zark Vim leaps into the air and you watch as he flies to the monastery at the peak of the mountain. [[Yeah, great, I'll just walk...|justwalk]] [[Show-off.|justwalk]]

You spend the next hour climbing the mountain with your bare hands. When you arrive at the top, you spot Zark Vim sitting on a rock and sipping space tea. [[Can I have some of that? I'm super thirsty now.|thirsty]] [[That was a neat trick, old man. I'll get you back for that.|getyoubackk]]

Zark Vim: Only a kung fu master may drink Cosmic Dew. Perhaps by the end of the day... if you've proven yourself... you may also partake. [[I am ready to become a kung fu master!|readyeddy]] [[Let's get started then!|readyeddy]]

Zark Vim shrugs and slurps up the last of his drink. [[Okay, but seriously, I'm really thirsty. Got any more of that stuff?|thirsty]]

Zark Vim tips his cup upside down and a single drop of Cosmic Dew falls to the ground. Suddenly the most beautiful flowers you've ever seen spring from the dirt as if by magic. Zark Vim places his cup on a nearby rock and motions for you to follow him inside the monastery. [[Continue|followsinz]]

The monastery is filled with Fuzonian monks practicing kung fu. Zark Vim leads you to a group of young Fuzonians and begins instructing you in the ways of kung fu. The younglings, who only stand about as high as your knees, struggle to pay attention. They keep tackling each other, farting, and wandering off. You, however, maintain your focus. [[Start the training montage!|trainingmontage]]

In a good ole' fashioned movie training montage, you start out training with the little kids who all kick your ass over and over again. Finally you get your technique down and rise through the ranks. Each new master you meet teaches you a new kung fu maneuver, and by the end of the day you've defeated every single Fuzonian monk in the monastery, including Zark Vim. Everyone is super impressed. [[Continue|impressed]]

Zark Vim: I am both surprised and delighted by the progress you've made with us today, outsider. The twin moons have not yet risen, and yet... I believe you are ready to unlock the mysteries of Fuzonia. [[Oh, hell yeah! I am so ready!|soready]] [[I am humbled and honored by your teachings, Zark Vim.|soready]]

Zark Vim fills two small cups with Cosmic Dew and places one in your hand. He raises his glass and sips. You do the same. [[Continue|samems]]

Suddenly your whole mind expands. You can see the pathways of the universe. Your vision becomes sharper and the colors around you seem brighter. You feel light on your feet- as if you could float. You feel healthier than you've ever felt in your entire life. [[Whoa...|whoa]] [[Can I fly now?|flynow]]

Zark Vim: You have now opened your mind to the mysteries of Fuzonia and the universe. Your kung fu is impeccable. There is nothing more I can teach you. Please tell $alien I said hello. [[Continue|bye]]

Zark Vim: We cannot fly, but you can now jump very far. Follow me. [[Continue|flying]]

Zark Vim touches your forehead and suddenly you're standing back in the teleportation room. $alien startles awake on the floor. [[Continue|awake]]

$alien: Huh? What? I'm not- who's sleeping? Oh, you're back! No, I wasn't... I was just resting my eyes... Did you learn kung fu? [[Zark Vim has taught me all he can. I have opened my mind to the mysteries of the universe.|kfsb]] [[I am a kung fu space barbarian!|kfsb]]

$alien: Oh, good. That's wonderful. We still have a little time... is there anything else you'd like to do before we meet with the Zarkaja? [[What's a Zarkaja?|zarkaja]] [[I have a great hunger. Where can I get food?|food]] [[What are those flashing lights in the distance?|flashing]] [[I've heard enough about your culture. Let's speak with the Zarkaja now.|highcoulncil]]

Zark Vim leaps from the top of the mountain and lands on another peak in the distance. This time you're able to do the same. You land next to him and he smiles at you. [[Continue|whoa]]

$alien: The Zarkaja resides in that castle. Please follow me. [[Continue|walking]]

$alien leads your through the floating city. Each section of the city is connected by a series of rope bridges and nearly invisible walkways. It is unnerving to cross from one section to another, but before long you arrive at the gates of the castle. $alien motions for you to enter. [[Will you be coming with me?|comingwith]] [[Are you sure this Zarkaja will be happy to see me? My father was never fond of having outsiders in his palace.|notfond]]

You step through the gates and find yourself standing in a Great Hall, not unlike the one your father ruled from. Dozens of Fuzonian warchiefs are clustered around a table in the center of the room. Images of planets and spaceships flicker above the table. One of the warchiefs is pointing at a small moon when they notice your arrival. [[Continue|youarrive]]

<<if visited("notfond")>>\ Lady Ventraxx: $alien? What is the meaning of this!? Who is this outsider, and why have you brought them into my war room?? This creature's presence is a blasphemy upon our sacred customs! [[I thought you said the Zarkaja would be happy to see me!|hapyto]] [[I'm here to save your sorry asses!|hapyto]] <<else>>\ Lady Ventraxx: $alien? What is the meaning of this!? Who is this outsider, and why have you brought them into my war room?? This creature's presence is a blasphemy upon our sacred customs! [[I'm here to save your sorry asses!|hapyto]] [[Wow. Real nice. I'm standing right here, you know.|hapyto]]<</if>>

$alien: Erm... yes, of course! But... you first. [[If you insist.|enterthef]] [[You seem nervous. Is something wrong?|somethingwrong]]

$alien: Well, it is difficult to predict the mood of the Zarkaja, of course, but I believe that you will be a valuable asset to us in this war. If she has any sense, the Zarkaja will welcome you with open arms! [[Right...|enterthef]]

$alien: Oh... uh... no! I was just lost in a thought... heh heh... [[If you insist.|enterthef]] [[Right...|enterthef]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ $alien: Please, Zarkaja, I meant no insult! This warrior has come to help us battle the Andraxxans. He is the greatest warrior I have ever seen. [[Continue|response]] <<else>>\ $alien: Please, Zarkaja, I meant no insult! This warrior has come to help us battle the Andraxxans. She is the greatest warrior I have ever seen. [[Continue|response]]<</if>>

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ Lady Ventraxx: You grow soft, $alien. You have allowed an outsider to enter our inner circle armed with weapons of war! The blasted creature carries an Andraxxan star-axe! His mission is not one of peace- he is a spy! Guards, arrest this intruder! [[Stand down or I'll litter this Hall with your bloody corpses!|bloodycorpses]] [[Think I'm a spy, do you? Here! Take the weapon. I need it not to brain you all!|bloodycorpses]] <<else>>\ Lady Ventraxx: You grow soft, $alien. You have allowed an outsider to enter our inner circle armed with weapons of war! The blasted creature carries an Andraxxan star-axe! Her mission is not one of peace- she is a spy! Guards, arrest this intruder! [[Stand down or I'll litter this Hall with your bloody corpses!|bloodycorpses]] [[Think I'm a spy, do you? Here! Take the weapon. I need it not to brain you all!|bloodycorpses]]<</if>>

Lady Ventraxx seems to realize for the first time that you are speaking Fuzonian. A look of horror crosses her face, quickly replaced by blind rage. [[Continue|langff]]

$alien: This is a Morphological Dial. It will allow you to speak and understand our language. If you encounter any creatures that speak a different language, simply spin the dial until you arrive at the proper setting and you'll be able to understand their words as if you were a native speaker. An interesting device, to be certain! It was developed by Thrakk, an esteemed colleague of mine. But enough of my prattling! We must move on. [[Continue|thepratel]]

$alien leads you toward the group of grazing creatures, which you learn are called loompas. The name comes from the strange sound they make when they are scratched behind the ears. You and $alien ride the loompas through the desert until you reach the edge of a massive cliff. [[Continue|thecliff]]

Lady Ventraxx: How is it that you speak our words, demon? [[I'm using your strange language device. Do you not recognize it?|strangl]] [[Enough banter! There is a war to be fought, is there not?|wars]]

You fail to notice $alien frantically gesticulating at you in an effort to get you to shut up. You realize too late that the Zarkaja probably had no knowledge of this device until just now. The Zarkaja glares daggers into $alien before refocusing her fury at you. [[Continue|fireandfury]]

Lady Ventraxx: Our language is unfit to fall from your tongue. You desecrate our city with your presence and dishonor our people by speaking our language. Be gone from this place. [[I came here to help you!|cametohelp]] [[You would let your silly customs drive your people to ruin! Bah, to hell with you!|cametohelp2]]

Lady Ventraxx: We don't want or need your help. Now begone! [[Continue|warping]]

You turn and head for the exit. At that moment a bloody Fuzonian warrior staggers in and collapses at your feet. [[Continue|bllody]]

$alien: Zarxx!? What's going on?? [[Continue|goingon]]

Zarxx: $alien... Zarkaja... Andraxxan knights are warping in all around the village perimeter! They're... killing everyone...! [[Don't just stand there, you dogs! There is a battle to be fought!|tobattle]] [[My axe hungers for blood! I will send those evil aliens back to Hell!|tobattle]]

You charge outside. The Fuzonian warchiefs follow close behind. Bright lights flash all across the floating village as Andraxxan knights appear and begin shooting at Fuzonian villagers with ray guns. [[You there! With me! We'll attack those shiny bastards head on! Zarkaja, lead your warriors around the side and attack the bastards from behind!|atk2]] [[Zarkaja, lead your warriors in a direct charge against those slime-suckers! I'll lead this lot around the side and attack them from behind!|atk2]]

<<if visited("kfsb")>>\ The Zarkaja is incredulous that you've taken command, but her warriors follow your orders without hesitation. Two of the Fuzonians are blasted into space dust immediately but the rest spring into action and launch the counter offensive. Using your newfound kung fu jumping abilities, you leap from your floating village platform to one currently occupied by half a dozen Andraxxan knights. [[Continue|thebatle]] <<else>>\ The Zarkaja is incredulous that you've taken command, but her warriors follow your orders without hesitation. Two of the Fuzonians are blasted into space dust immediately but the rest spring into action and launch the counter offensive. You grab a nearby rope and swing from your floating village platform to one currently occupied by half a dozen Andraxxan knights. [[Continue|thebatle]]<</if>>

You drive a powerful kick into the closest Andraxxan's chest, sending him tumbling over the edge and into the abyss far below. The other Andraxxans close in around you, but you swing your axe in a frenzy and chop them into tiny slices of space sushi. [[Continue|thechoice]]

You notice the Zarkaja has been surrounded by a squad of Andraxxan knights. They shove her to the ground and bind her wrists. You could probably reach her, but at that moment you also spot a group of Andraxxans dragging Fuzonian Elders from one of the nearby temples. You can reach either the Elders or the Zarkaja, but you won't have time for both. What will you do? [[Save the Zarkaja|savezarka]] [[Save the Elders|savechildren]]

You can't bear the thought of leaving the Elders in the hands of those monsters, but the Zarkaja is too important to be captured. You charge through the city streets and barrel through a platoon of Andraxxans, smashing your way through to the Zarkaja. You cleave the Andraxxans apart and pull the Zarkaja to her feet. [[Continue|pushes]]

You charge through the city streets and barrel through a platoon of Andraxxans, smashing your way through to the Elders. You cleave the Andraxxans apart and pull the Elders to their feet. [[Continue|pushesy]]

You look back and see that the Andraxxans have gathered the Elders into a tight circle. Before you can reach them, the Andraxxans warp out of existence with their prisoners. [[Continue|zarkapissed]]

Lady Ventraxx: You idiot! You should have saved the Elders! My life means nothing compared to theirs! The Fuzonian Elders are the only ones who know the location of the hidden temple! The Andraxxans will torture them and find out where it is! [[I wanted to save them but I didn't have time!|challenge]] [[I thought they were going to capture you for that information?|theyskeek]] [[Be silent, you ungrateful bitch!|ungrateful]]

Lady Ventraxx: They would indeed have captured me, but no matter how much they tortured me, they'd never learn the location of the hidden temple because I don't know where it is! Only the village Elders have that information. [[Continue|challenge]]

The Zarkaja looks at you in shock and disgust. A few other Fuzonians arrive, including $alien. The fury returns to Lady Ventraxx's eyes. [[Continue|challenge]]

Lady Ventraxx: You have doomed our people and shamed Fuzonia, Outsider. I must restore our honor! I challenge you to Shardakka! [[What the devil is Shadakka?|sharrr]] [[We don't have time for your silly honor rituals! Those Andraxxans captured your Elders and will torture them for information. They'll learn the location of the hidden temple and summon the Star King!|sumonsn]]

$alien: Shardakka is a Fuzonian honor duel. You will face the Zarkaja in single combat to resolve this honor dispute. If you are defeated, the Zarkaja will have restored the honor of Fuzonia. But if you are victorious- [[Continue|youir]]

Lady Ventraxx: You continue to dishonor yourself by speaking our words, Outsider. Prepare yourself for the battle ahead. We will face each other in Shardakka in one hour. [[Continue|shealks]]

Lady Ventraxx: The Outsider will not prevail over me! I will restore the honor of Fuzonia and our people! [[Fine, I'll kick your ass first, then we'll deal with the Andraxxans. But when we do, we do it MY way.|myway]] [[We don't have time for your silly honor rituals! Those Andraxxans captured your Elders and will torture them for information. They'll learn the location of the hidden temple and summon the Star King!|sumonsn]]

The Zarkaja turns her back on you and leaves. The other Fuzonians watch you for another moment before dispersing. You spend the next hour preparing for your upcoming fight. $alien leads you to a sand-filled colosseum, where the duel is set to take place. Surprisingly, the arena is full of Fuzonians who have come to watch, despite the fact that there is a full-blown war going on. Silly honor rituals... [[Continue|thefights]]

The Zarkaja turns her back on you and leaves. The other Fuzonians watch you for another moment before dispersing. [[Continue|metzark]]

You spend the next hour preparing for your upcoming fight. $alien leads you to a sand-filled colosseum, where the duel is set to take place. Surprisingly, the arena is full of Fuzonians who have come to watch, despite the fact that there is a full-blown war going on. Silly honor rituals... [[Continue|thefights]]

$alien: Do you have any questions before the duel begins? [[Is this a fight to the death?|ftd]] [[What weapons am I permitted to use?|premit]] [[I'm ready to fight. Let's get this over with.|oversk]]

$alien: Death is not unknown in an honor duel. Most fights end when one fighter surrenders, but if your opponent is particularly stubborn then death may be the only way to end the fight. [[What weapons am I permitted to use?|premit]] [[I'm ready to fight. Let's get this over with.|oversk]]

$alien: Each fighter is given a ceremonial dagger to use during the duel. The blades are made of Starsteel. Very sharp. Very dangerous. The Starsteel daggers are the only weapons permitted in an honor duel, though you may use your fists and feet in the fight if you so desire. [[Is this a fight to the death?|ftd]] [[I'm ready to fight. Let's get this over with.|oversk]]

You step onto the hot sand. The Zarkaja is already standing on the opposite side of the arena, polishing her Starsteel dagger. A referee steps between the two of you. [[Continue|ref]]

Referee: Hear ye, hear ye! We are gathered today on this sacred ground to decide the fate of the Outsider in ritual Shardakka! In the green corner, weighing in a ten thousand and fifteen Yorts, we have your Zarkaja, Lady Ventraxx! And in the purple corner, weighing in at a measly... what is this measurement? Ponds? [[Pounds!|spacegerbil]] [[Just get on with it!|spacegerbil]]

Referee: Right... weighing in at what appears to be the size of a space gerbil, the Outsider! [[Continue|appls]]

There is a smattering of boos and applause. A horn sounds and the Zarkaja charges you with a savage war cry. You side-step her attack and punch her in the jaw. She drops like a sack of potatoes, completely unconscious. The crowd gasps. The referee rushes to the Zarkaja's side. [[Continue|sheok]]

Referee: She's alive... but that was one hell of a punch. She'll be out for a while. [[Good, then let's stop fucking around and find the Elders before the Star King shows up.|fragiles]] [[Damn, I barely even touched her. Your species is quite fragile.|fragiles]]

Referee: Uh... we have a winner, I guess? [[Continue|winnnernn]]

The crowd cheers and begins chanting "Zarkaja! Zarkaja!" $alien approaches you and wraps you in a big hug. [[What the devil?|waahd]] [[Enough celebration, there is work to be done!|waahd]]

$alien: Don't you understand, Outsider? By defeating the current Zarkaja in an honor duel, you have become the new Zarkaja of Fuzonia! [[Bloody hell...|blooody]] [[Then my first order as Zarkaja is to cut the crap and come with me! We must find the Elders!|findeld]]

The Fuzonians place their hands over their hearts and bow to you. [[Enough groveling! We have work to do!|enoughgrob]] [[This is silly, you can play your honor games later. Right now we need to find those Elders!|enoughgrob]]

The Fuzonians bow to you, then begin preparing for battle. They run left and right, grabbing spears and knives. You look around at them in awe. They're like a colony of ants, moving as one, and your are now their leader. But if the Andraxxans you're about to face are anything like the ones you fought earlier... many of these people will die. What good are spears and daggers against space ships and ray guns? [[Continue|whatuse]]

One of the Fuzonian warchiefs approaches you and places a hand over his heart. [[Continue|warfff]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: Makkana, Zarkaja. I am Warchief Tor'Akk. I have served as military advisor for the Zarkajas of Fuzonian for 752 years. It would be an honor to serve you as well. [[Makkana?|makkana]] [[An'kaja, warchief.|ankaja]] [[Thank you, Warchief. That would be most helpful.|helpful]] [[I have no need of a military advisor.|noneed]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: It is a Fuzonian saying. It means "May the moons of Fuzonia smile ever upon your path." The customary response is An'kaja: "And may you one day dance with your ancestors among the stars." [[An'kaja, Warchief.|ankaja]] [[I would like you to be my military advisor.|helpful]] [[I have no need of a military advisor.|noneed]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ Warchief Tor'Akk: Then let's get to business: I believe the village Elders have been taken to an Andraxxan warship called the Colossus. The Colossus is the largest ship in the Andraxxan fleet- their mothership, so to speak. I have identified three possible routes we can take to secure the return of our village Elders, but none of them will be easy. [[Nothing ever is...|neveris2]] [[Just tell me.|neveris2]] <<else>>\ Warchief Tor'Akk: Then let's get to business: I believe the Zarkaja has been taken to an Andraxxan warship called the Colossus. The Colossus is the largest ship in the Andraxxan fleet- their mothership, so to speak. I have identified three possible routes we can take to secure the return of our Zarkaja, but none of them will be easy. [[Nothing ever is...|neveris2]] [[Just tell me.|neveris2]]<</if>>

Warchief Tor'Akk: As you command, Zarkaja. [[Continue|leavesss]]

The Warchief places his hand over his heart once more and bows to you. [[I would like you to be my military advisor.|helpful]] [[I have no need of a military advisor.|noneed]]

The warchief bows and walks away. $alien approaches, consulting a handheld data device. [[Continue|data]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ $alien: I believe the village Elders have been taken to an Andraxxan warship called the Colossus. The Colossus is the largest ship in the Andraxxan fleet- their mothership, so to speak. I have identified three possible routes we can take to secure the return of our village Elders, but none of them will be easy. [[Nothing ever is...|neveris]] [[Just tell me.|neveris]] <<else>>\ $alien: I believe the Zarkaja has been taken to an Andraxxan warship called the Colossus. The Colossus is the largest ship in the Andraxxan fleet- their mothership, so to speak. I have identified three possible routes we can take to secure the return of our Zarkaja, but none of them will be easy. [[Nothing ever is...|neveris]] [[Just tell me.|neveris]]<</if>>

$alien: Our first option is to locate an old teleporter hidden in one of the tunnels beneath the cliffs of Duskana. This particular teleporter is linked to an identical one on the far side of the planet. Reaching the tunnels shouldn't be a problem, but rumor has it that the tunnels have been overrun with space Garban in the past three centuries. We haven't used them much recently... [[Continue|nextooption]]

$alien: Our second option is to travel to the Colossus via sky shark. It appears that the Colossus is holding in low orbit on the far side of the planet. We could reach the ship by surfing on sky sharks, but that option would leave us completely exposed. Still, it would give us a small element of surprise, but the likelihood of success is limited. [[Continue|finaloption]]

$alien: The final option is this: we have taken control of a small Andraxxan starfighter that crashed near Duskana several moonturns ago. The ship is still in working condition, but we do not have any pilots capable of flying the ship. It is risky, but if you could somehow manage to pilot the ship, we may be able to sneak past their defenses and dock with the Colossus directly using the access codes in the starfighter's computer systems. [[Continue|thechoices]]

$alien: What would you like to do, Zarkaja? [[We should search for the teleporter in the tunnels.|teleportersearch]] [[Let's surf on sky sharks!|surfingusa]] [[Show me this starship. Using their own devices against them is most clever.|starship]]

$alien: A wise decision. I suggest we visit Thrakk before departing. He may be able to provide us with some new equipment that can help us on our journey. [[I have a few questions before we go.|afewquestions2]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]

The Fuzonians rise and begin preparing for battle. They run left and right, grabbing spears and knives. You look around at them in awe. They're like a colony of ants, moving as one, and your are now their leader. But if the Andraxxans you're about to face are anything like the ones you fought earlier... many of these people will die. What good are spears and daggers against space ships and ray guns? [[Continue|whatuse]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: Our first option is to locate an old teleporter hidden in one of the tunnels beneath the cliffs of Duskana. This particular teleporter is linked to an identical one on the far side of the planet. Reaching the tunnels shouldn't be a problem, but rumor has it that the tunnels have been overrun with space Garban in the past three centuries. We haven't used them much recently... [[Continue|nextooption2]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: Our second option is to travel to the Colossus via sky shark. It appears that the Colossus is holding in low orbit on the far side of the planet. We could reach the ship by surfing on sky sharks, but that option would leave us completely exposed. Still, it would give us a small element of surprise, but the likelihood of success is limited. [[Continue|finaloption2]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: The final option is this: we have taken control of a small Andraxxan starfighter that crashed near Duskana several moonturns ago. The ship is still in working condition, but we do not have any pilots capable of flying the ship. It is risky, but if you could somehow manage to pilot the ship, we may be able to sneak past their defenses and dock with the Colossus directly using the access codes in the starfighter's computer systems. [[Continue|thechoices2]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: What would you like to do, Zarkaja? [[We should search for the teleporter in the tunnels.|teleportersearch2]] [[Let's surf on sky sharks!|surfingusa2]] [[Show me this starship. Using their own devices against them is most clever.|starship2]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ Warchief Tor'Akk: What would you like to know? [[Do you think the Elders will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey2]] [[What is the role of the Elders?|roleofeld2]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges2]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]] <<else>>\ Warchief Tor'Akk: What would you like to know? [[Do you think the Zarkaja will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey2h]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges2n]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]]<</if>>

You, $alien, and the Warchief exit the arena and head to a small structure on the outskirts of the village. Dozens of strange gadgets and gizmos whirl around the building. A metal dog-like creature barks at your approach. [[Continue|thrakkshere]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ $alien: What would you like to know? [[Do you think the Elders will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey]] [[What is the role of the Elders?|roleofeld]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]] <<else>>\ $alien: What would you like to know? [[Do you think the Zarkaja will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|witheyl]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchangesl]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]<</if>>

You and $alien exit the arena and head to a small structure on the outskirts of the village. Dozens of strange gadgets and gizmos whirl around the building. A metal dog-like creature barks at your approach. [[Continue|thrakkshere]]

$alien: The village Elders are the wisest among us. They were once great warriors themselves, but their time has now passed. They are strong and brave, but to be tortured by the Andraxxans... that may prove to be too much. Will they break and reveal our secrets? Only the gods can tell. [[What is the role of the Elders?|roleofeld]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]

$alien: The Elders hold the secret lore of our people. While they hold no power over Fuzonia, they are deeply respected for their wisdom. In a way, they are more powerful than any Zarkaja. That is why it is so important that we rescue them from the Andraxxans. [[Do you think the Elders will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]

$alien: Would you like an exact number? I do not wish to deter you from your chosen path. If you knew our chances for success, you might not have agreed to help us in the first place. You might even now turn your back on us and search instead for a way back to your own home. Then again, if we fail here... you most likely won't have a home to return to. [[Do you think the Elders will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey]] [[What is the role of the Elders?|roleofeld]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: The village Elders are the wisest among us. They were once great warriors themselves, but their time has now passed. They are strong and brave, but to be tortured by the Andraxxans... that may prove to be too much. Will they break and reveal our secrets? Only the gods can tell. [[What is the role of the Elders?|roleofeld2]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges2]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: The Elders hold the secret lore of our people. While they hold no power over Fuzonia, they are deeply respected for their wisdom. In a way, they are more powerful than any Zarkaja. That is why it is so important that we rescue them from the Andraxxans. [[Do you think the Elders will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey2]] [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges2]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: Would you like an exact number? I do not wish to deter you from your chosen path. If you knew our chances for success, you might not have agreed to help us in the first place. You might even now turn your back on us and search instead for a way back to your own home. Then again, if we fail here... you most likely won't have a home to return to. [[Do you think the Elders will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey2]] [[What is the role of the Elders?|roleofeld2]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]]

Thrakk: Va-va-voom! Down, boy! Down! Cursed junk bot! De-doo! [[Continue|thrakline]]

A cloud of purple smoke billows out of the doorway as Thrakk exits the stone hut. He is covered in soot from head to toe. He removes a pair of goggles from his face and tosses them back inside. The clean patches of skin around his eyes make him look like a weird raccoon. [[What the hell are you?|wtfru]] [[You're not a Fuzonian, are you?|notafz]]

Thrakk: Oh, charming. Just the way I like to be greeted in the morning! I open the door and- vippity vorp! Here before me stands a space racist! Do you find my orange skin repulsive? Does my tail disgust you? Or perhaps these six spindly arms make you want to set things on fire? By Shergblatt's hairy butt crack, what do you want? [[I meant no offense! I am genuinely curious. I have never seen a creature like you before.|nooffense]] [[I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: Woop-de-woop-de! What gave me away? Was it my orange skin? My tail? Or perhaps it was one of these six spindly arms? By Shergblatt's hairy butt crack, you are perceptive, aren't you? I am a Sneath! [[Are Sneaths native to Fuzonia?|native]] [[Why is there a Sneath in a Fuzonian village?|fozni]] [[Um... okay. I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: Nope-nip-nop! I was born six systems away from here, on a planet called Smelkor 4. SM...Z... ah, foop it! I don't know the hingo-jingo term for it. Smelkor 4 is a volcanic world. That is where all Sneaths are born; we spread throughout the galaxy as we mature, but we always return to Smelkor 4 to perform the mating and birthing rituals. Ba-bang-boing! [[Why did you come to this Fuzonian village?|fozni]] [[Um... okay. I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: Zing-zing-zing! Our esteemed friend $alien here found me putzing around in the desert with my faulty warp ring. I had intended to warp to an iron planet 17 light-years from here, but space travel has never been my speciality. Boo-dee! I likely would have died if I'd been left to my own devices. [[Continue|waprorin]]

Thrakk: Aha! Come for equipment, have you? Choo-choo! Am I to understand you're going to be fighting the Andraxxans? Good! Those dirty space turds deserve to be wiped from the butt cheeks of the universe! Zip-zap-zow! [[Continue|morelines]]

Thrakk: I am a Sneath! Bleepity-bleepity-bleeth! [[Are Sneaths native to Fuzonia?|native]] [[Why is there a Sneath in a Fuzonian village?|fozni]] [[Um... okay. I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: Thankfully, that was not the case. I was given a home here on the outskirts, among the other untouchables of the village; the diseased, deformed, and demented. Ding-dong-do! The Zarkaja has a strong distrust of outsiders. [[I've noticed.|noticed]] [[Um... okay. I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: My situation here is acceptable. For the most part I am left in peace to work on my own creations, and in return for shelter I build useful tools for the Fuzonians. Clickity-clackity! I see you're wearing one of my Morphological Dials! How do you like it? [[I noticed I didn't have to turn it to speak with you...|didnthaveto]] [[I like your magic dial.|magicdial]]

Thrakk: Well of course not, you Garban fart! I've been living with the Fuzonians for nearly a hundred years now, haven't I? I think anyone with half a brain could learn their language in a hundred years! Bleepity-blip-blip! [[I like your magic dial.|magicdial]] [[Are Sneaths native to Fuzonia?|native]] [[Um... okay. I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: Not magic, SCIENCE! Zing-bar-too! Primitive, harebrained barbarian! [[I noticed I didn't have to turn it to speak with you...|didnthaveto]] [[Are Sneaths native to Fuzonia?|native]] [[Um... okay. I was told you might be able to give me some cool alien gear?|aliengear]]

Thrakk: I can outfit you with some of my own special gear. We Sneaths are magnificent creators, but I'm sure $alien has already regaled you with stories of my incredible brilliance. Woobity-woo! It hasn't been easy procuring parts and smelting gear without a volcano, but what can you do? I've managed to make do with what I can get my hands on. [[If you have weapons to combat the Andraxxans, why don't the Fuzonians use them?|wdyfh]] [[What sort of gear do you have?|whatgear]]

Thrakk: Gear! Armor! Weapons! Vroom-vroo! All sorts! Come with me. [[Continue|inside]]

Thrakk: Well, I can't exactly mass produce these items- not yet, anyway. Boink-bow... Besides, the Fuzonians are too... fleshy. My gadgets are mostly prototypes, so there is a high probability that the Fuzonians would explode into space goo if any of my devices malfunctioned. [[What makes you think I won't explode into space goo?|spacegoo]] [[What sort of gear do you have?|whatgear]]

Thrakk: Oh! Tingity-ting and clackety-coo! You misunderstand me. There is a very good chance these devices will kill you in the most horrible and painful ways possible. But I won't get kicked out of the village and lose my home if YOU get turned into space goo. Can you imagine what would happen to me if I accidentally vaporized one of the Elders? Zoom-da-zoo! [[What sort of gear do you have?|whatgear]]

Thrakk leads you inside his smoke-filled hut. You cough and wave away clouds of putrid smoke, taking in your surroundings. The stone hut is filled with junk. Thrakk busies himself tossing random bits of metal from one pile to another. He finally finds what he's looking for, but seems surprised to see you inside his hut. He begins shoo-ing you away. [[Continue|hinshuf]]

Thrakk: Outside! Outside! Lee-doop! You must not disturb the devices! They are very unstable. One wrong step and- ba-ba-boosh! [[But you just told us to come in...|justodnel]] [[What an odd creature you are.|justodnel]]

You step back outside and Thrakk lays two objects in front of you. The first is a chrome tube, which he places on his arm like a gauntlet. He presses a red button and a large energy shield materializes from it. The shield reminds you of the metal shields the Iron Knights use back home, only this one is made of pure energy instead of steel. [[Continue|nextobjoj]]

The second device is also a metal gauntlet, but this time when Thrakk presses the button he disappears. [[Continue|telrop]]

Thrakk: I'm over here! Zoop-woosh! This device is a personal teleporter. It will allow you to teleport very short distances. You can't go far, but you could warp to the top of a house, or across a small chasm. You may take one with you! Toodley-doot! Which will you choose? [[I'll take the laser shield.|lasrshield]] [[I'll take the teleportation device.|teleport]] [[Can I take both?|takeboth]]

Thrakk hands you the laser shield and instructs you on how to use it. He explains that the shield is made of plasma energy, and it should theoretically deflect laser bolts shot from Andraxxan ray guns, though he has never been able to test that feature. He is fairly certain it can block any weapon attack without exploding and blasting your arm off. [[Continue|goodluck]]

Thrakk hands you the personal teleporter and instructs you on how to use it. He is fairly certain it can warp you short distances without exploding and blasting your arm off or sending you spiraling into a wormhole. [[Continue|goodluck]]

Thrakk: Oh no! Wearing both is highly inadvisable. If you wear one, you only MIGHT get turned into space goo. But wearing BOTH? Mombo-bombo! Splatta-pow! Too unstable. Pick one or none! [[I'll take the laser shield.|lasrshield]] [[I'll take the teleportation device.|teleport]]

Thrakk wishes you good luck and you depart. [[Continue|departing]]

<<if visited("teleportersearch")>>\ You follow $alien through the village to the landing area, where dozens of sky sharks are floating around aimlessly. At least thirty Fuzonian warriors stand ready with spears nearby. They bow when you approach. You return the gesture before jumping on one of the sky sharks and leading your small army down deep into the canyon below. [[Continue|ontheskysharks]] <<elseif visited("teleportersearch2")>>\ You follow $alien and Warchief Tor'Akk through the village to the landing area, where dozens of sky sharks are floating around aimlessly. At least thirty Fuzonian warriors stand ready with spears nearby. They bow when you approach. You return the gesture before jumping on one of the sky sharks and leading your small army down deep into the canyon below. [[Continue|ontheskysharks]] <<elseif visited("surfingusa")>>\ You follow $alien through the village to the landing area, where dozens of sky sharks are floating around aimlessly. At least thirty Fuzonian warriors stand ready with spears nearby. They bow when you approach. You return the gesture before jumping on one of the sky sharks and leading your small army up into the clouds. [[Continue|ontheskysharks2]] <<elseif visited("surfingusa2")>>\ You follow $alien and Warchief Tor'Akk through the village to the landing area, where dozens of sky sharks are floating around aimlessly. At least thirty Fuzonian warriors stand ready with spears nearby. They bow when you approach. You return the gesture before jumping on one of the sky sharks and leading your small army up into the clouds. [[Continue|ontheskysharks2]] <<elseif visited("starship2")>>\ You follow $alien and Warchief Tor'Akk through the village to the landing area, where dozens of sky sharks are floating around aimlessly. At least thirty Fuzonian warriors stand ready with spears nearby. They bow when you approach. You return the gesture before jumping on one of the sky sharks and leading your small army across the canyon to the location of the crashed starship. [[Continue|ontheskysharks3]] <<elseif visited("starship")>>\ You follow $alien through the village to the landing area, where dozens of sky sharks are floating around aimlessly. At least thirty Fuzonian warriors stand ready with spears nearby. They bow when you approach. You return the gesture before jumping on one of the sky sharks and leading your small army across the canyon to the location of the crashed starship. [[Continue|ontheskysharks3]]<</if>>

You continue to fly deeper down into the canyon until the city above is lost in the clouds. A stone balcony juts out from the cliff face just up ahead. The balcony leads to a simple cave entrance. You direct your space sharks to land on the stone platform and dismount. [[Continue|dismount]]

You surf through the clouds on the sky sharks, which move extremely fast. You notice that the sky sharks are made of metal, and seem to be propelled by rocket-boosters. You hadn't taken much time to study them on your first trip, and you're surprised to see that these creatures are more machine than flesh. The thought sends a shiver down your spine. [[Continue|flyingmore]]

The ship has a few dents and burns, but it appears to be fine otherwise. You and $alien enter the small ship while the other Fuzonians wait outside. You spot the control panel. It is filled with buttons, switches, and levers. You have no idea what anything does. [[Start pushing buttons|pushbuttons]] [[Start flipping switches|sliwn]] [[Start pulling levers|levrpug]] [[Leave the starship and come up with a different plan|difplan]]

The platform seems to be a transportation device of some kind, similar to the teleportation circles you've seen back home, but you have no idea how it works. Magic was never your strong suit. You wait for a while to see if the creatures will come back, but it soon becomes apparent they have no intention of returning anytime soon. You strike out on your own once more. [[Continue|wanderdesert]]

You wander aimlessly though the desert, searching for any sign of life or civilization. The two suns overhead beat down on you mercilessly, and it isn't long before you collapse from heat exhaustion. [[Continue|heatexhast]]

You follow the trail of footprints left by the riders, but after a short while you find yourself caught in a sandstorm. The trail is swept away and it isn't long before you lose the trail completely. You wander aimlessly though the storm, searching for any sign of life or civilization. The two suns overhead beat down on you mercilessly, and it isn't long before you collapse from heat exhaustion. [[Continue|heatexhast]]

$alien: We must be cautious. Space Garban are no larger than your fist, but they can crawl along any surface with great speed. If they catch you, they will latch onto your skin and devour your eyeballs. [[That's reassuring...|reassureing]] [[I've yet to meet a foe I can't cleave with my axe!|yettomeet]]

$alien: I am just stating the facts. Let's proceed. [[Continue|intothecaves]]

$alien: Excellent, then you can take the lead. [[Continue|intothecaves]]

You lead the Fuzonians into the tunnels, gripping your axe tightly. The glow of its sparking electricity lights your way. The tunnels have been carved into visually pleasing geometric shapes and etched with esoteric runes. The walls are perfectly straight. The craftsmanship here is beyond anything you've ever seen, surpassing even the diligent work of the mountain dwarves. [[Continue|tuenls2]]

After travelling for several minutes you begin to hear a soft skittering sound up ahead. It grows louder with each step you take. [[Order your troops to stop|stophere]] [[Press onward|presson]]

<<if visited("teleportersearch2")>>\ You raise your hand and motion for the Fuzonians to halt. Warchief Tor'Akk approaches you. [[Continue|wash]] <<else>>\ You raise your hand and motion for the Fuzonians to halt. $alien approaches you. [[Continue|wash2]]<</if>>

You continue forward, determined to reach your destination quickly. Suddenly hundreds of tiny spore-like creatures come crawling out of the darkness. The Fuzonians are completely caught off-guard; it seems like their sense of hearing isn't as sharp as yours. [[Continue|grabkal]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: What's wrong? [[Listen. Something is moving up ahead.|something]] [[Hold your positions and get ready for a fight.|something]]

$alien: What's wrong? [[Listen. Something is moving up ahead.|something2]] [[Hold your positions and get ready for a fight.|something2]]

The warchief listens for a moment. His eyes grow wide and he gives a series of orders to the troops. They drop into fighting positions, creating a tight circle. You form up alongside them, closing the ranks. [[Continue|garbanattack]]

The skittering sound grows louder, and suddenly hundreds of tiny spore-like creatures come crawling out of the darkness. Your warriors stand their ground and defend themselves, stabbing at the space Garbans with their spears. [[Continue|garbanpop]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ $alien listens for a moment. Her eyes grow wide. You give a series of orders to the troops. They drop into fighting positions, creating a tight circle. You form up alongside them, closing the ranks. [[Continue|garbanattack]] <<else>>\ $alien listens for a moment. His eyes grow wide. You give a series of orders to the troops. They drop into fighting positions, creating a tight circle. You form up alongside them, closing the ranks. [[Continue|garbanattack]]<</if>>

You begin hacking away at the tiny creatures with your axe. Every Garban you slice pops into a spray of electrified dust. The electricity seems to jump from one Garban to the next, causing a chain reaction of exploding Garbans. It isn't long before they've all been destroyed. Once you're sure their attack has ended, you order your troops to move on. [[Continue|moveon]]

You come to a massive chamber illuminated by a pulsing light. The light seems to be coming from a shimmering vortex swirling in the center of the room. [[Is that the teleporter?|arrib]] [[Everybody stay sharp! There might be more space Garbans lurking in the dark.|lruk]]

<<if visited("teleportersearch2")>>\ The air is suddenly filled with flying spores. The Fuzonians break ranks and scatter as the space Garbans latch onto them and begin sucking out their eyeballs. A few, including $alien and the warchief, form up into a tight circle and defend the rest of the group with their spears. [[Continue|thlaudfj]] <<else>>\ The air is suddenly filled with flying spores. The Fuzonians break ranks and scatter as the space Garbans latch onto them and begin sucking out their eyeballs. A few, including $alien, form up into a tight circle and defend the rest of the group with their spears. [[Continue|thlaudfj]]<</if>>

You look around at the bodies of your dead troops, mentally kicking yourself for not being more careful, like $alien advised. Half a dozen Fuzonians lie dead, and the rest are clearly shaken. [[We need to press on.|neto]] [[Do you have any death rituals to perform?|persomf]] [[Let's take a break and gather our wits.|takebrk]]

The Fuzonians look hesitantly at the bodies of their fallen comrades, but they offer no dissent. They follow you deeper into the darkness. [[Continue|moveon]]

$alien: We are Fuzonians. Our bodies return to Fuzonia upon death, and our spirits are lifted to the cosmos. These warriors are dancing with their ancestors among the stars now. We can do nothing more for them. [[We need to press on.|neto]] [[Let's take a break and gather our wits.|takebrk]]

The Fuzonians seem relieved to be given a chance to rest. They tend to their wounded and stack the bodies of the dead in a pile while you listen for any sound of approaching enemies. Once you're sure the way ahead is clear, you order your troops to move on. [[Continue|moveon]]

$alien: Yes. This teleporter will lead us to an identical one on the far side of the planet. We should enter quickly before any more space Garbans show up. [[All right, everyone into the teleporter!|everyonein]] [[What will we find on the other side?|otherside]]

The Fuzonians keep their spears ready as you approach the glowing vortex. [[Continue|thevot]]

$alien: Now this is a sight I never thought I'd live to see again. Magnificent! This teleporter will lead us to an identical one on the far side of the planet. We should enter quickly before any more space Garbans show up. [[All right, everyone into the teleporter!|everyonein]] [[What will we find on the other side?|otherside]]

You lead the Fuzonians into the swirling vortex. You feel a strange twisting in your stomach, like you're about to throw up, and suddenly you're standing on the other side. [[Continue|vvooo]]

$alien: That is difficult to say. These teleporters have not been used in centuries. We should be prepared for anything. [[All right. Everyone into the teleporter!|everyonein]]

The twin suns are blindingly bright. It looks like this teleporter was once hidden in a cave similar to the one you just left, but the cave was destroyed recently. You are standing on the edge of a crumbling ruin. A great battle is taking place in the valley below. [[Continue|greatbattle]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ Several smaller tribes of Fuzonians are fighting the Andraxxans in the valley below. The valley is littered with dead bodies and crashed starships. Andraxxan warships zoom around overhead. As you look up higher, you can see a massive Andraxxan ship looming just above the clouds. That must be where they took the Elders. [[Into the valley! We must give those Fuzonians support!|suppooor]] [[Search for a downed starfighter! We need to find a way up to that mothership!|mothership]] <<else>>\ Several smaller tribes of Fuzonians are fighting the Andraxxans in the valley below. The valley is littered with dead bodies and crashed starships. Andraxxan warships zoom around overhead. As you look up higher, you can see a massive Andraxxan ship looming just above the clouds. That must be where they took the Zarkaja. [[Into the valley! We must give those Fuzonians support!|suppooor]] [[Search for a downed starfighter! We need to find a way up to that mothership!|mothership]]<</if>>

<<if visited("lasrshield")>>\ You charge into the valley and join the fray. It is a bloodbath. Fuzonians and Andraxxans are killing each other left and right. You deflect several laser bolts using your plasma shield before chopping a group of Andraxxan knights to pieces. [[Continue|cont]] <<else>>\ You charge into the valley and join the fray. It is a bloodbath. Fuzonians and Andraxxans are killing each other left and right. You spring into action and begin chopping a group of Andraxxan knights to pieces. [[Continue|cont]]<</if>>

<<if visited("lasrshield")>>\ You lead your troops through the chaos, searching for a usable ship. Andraxxans begin firing lasers at you. You deflect several laser bolts using your plasma shield before chopping a group of Andraxxan knights to pieces. [[Continue|cont]] <<else>>\ You lead your troops through the chaos, searching for a usable ship. Andraxxans begin firing lasers at you. You use your personal teleporter to warp behind them and chop the Andraxxan knights to pieces. [[Continue|cont]]<</if>>

You can see flashes of light up ahead. Your eyes grow wide with wonder as you emerge from a cloud. There is a great battle taking place in the valley below. [[Continue|greatbattles]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ Several smaller tribes of Fuzonians are fighting the Andraxxans in the valley, which is littered with dead bodies and crashed starships. Andraxxan warships zoom around overhead. As you look up higher, you can see a massive Andraxxan ship looming just above the clouds. That must be where they took the Elders. [[Into the valley! We must give those Fuzonians support!|suppooor2]] [[Head for that mothership!|mothership2]] <<else>>\ Several smaller tribes of Fuzonians are fighting the Andraxxans in the valley, which is littered with dead bodies and crashed starships. Andraxxan warships zoom around overhead. As you look up higher, you can see a massive Andraxxan ship looming just above the clouds. That must be where they took the Zarkaja. [[Into the valley! We must give those Fuzonians support!|suppooor2]] [[Head for that mothership!|mothership2]]<</if>>

<<if visited("lasrshield")>>\ You zoom down into the valley and join the fray. It is a bloodbath. Fuzonians and Andraxxans are killing each other left and right. You deflect several laser bolts using your plasma shield before chopping a group of Andraxxan knights to pieces. [[Continue|cont]] <<else>>\ You zoom down into the valley and join the fray. It is a bloodbath. Fuzonians and Andraxxans are killing each other left and right. You spring into action and begin chopping a group of Andraxxan knights to pieces. [[Continue|cont]]<</if>>

You lead your troops straight up towards the mothership. You presence is immediately detected and dozens of starfighters peel off from the main battle to intercept you. [[I'll distract them! The rest of you get inside that mothership!|getinside]] [[Keep them distracted! I'll sneak into the mothership on my own!|own]]

You peel off from the main group and shake your butt at the Andraxxan starfighters. They zoom towards you while the rest of your troops fly up towards the mothership. You start performing acrobatic tricks as your confidence grows. You begin spiraling through the air on your sky shark, zipping in and out between starfighters and causing them to shoot each other down or crash into one another. [[Continue|skyricks]]

The Fuzonians zip away and begin shaking their butts at the Andraxxan starfighters. The starfighters follow the main group, leaving you alone to fly up to the mothership. You can see an opening in the side of the massive ship where Andraxxan starfighters are docked. You aim your sky shark at the opening and zoom forward. [[Continue|docking]]

You spot a group of Fuzonians hunkered down behind a wall, pinned down by an unending spray of laser fire. You also notice that one of the Andraxxans you slew is carrying a warp device that can transport you into the mothership. What will you do? [[Save the Fuzonians|savefuzon]] [[Use the warp device to get inside the mothership|usedevice]]

The good times don't last, though. One of the starfighters aims a laser bolt right at you. You flip through the air but the bolt blasts your sky shark right in the underbelly. The lifeless shark drops from the sky like a rock and you go tumbling down with it. Just before you're about to hit the ground, you land on the hood of a passing Andraxxan starship. [[Continue|capturedhh]]

A volley of laser bolts greets your arrival. One of the bolts hits your sky shark, which begins to tumble out of the sky. You leap off at the last second and just barely manage to grab onto the side of the mothership with the tips of your fingers. You look down and watch your sky shark smash into the ground far below. [[Continue|climbup]]

You pull yourself up and climb inside the docking bay. A squad of Andraxxans is charging toward you. You also see a group of starfighters preparing to take off. Glowing blue vats of fuel sit nearby, ready to re-energize ships before takeoff. A well-aimed axe throw could probably detonate the fuel cells and destroy those starfighters, but that would leave you defenseless against the approaching Andraxxans. [[Fight the Andraxxans|fightand]] [[Destroy the fuel cells|destorycells]]

<<if visited("lasrshield")>>\ You focus your attention on the approaching Andraxxans. What is your plan? [[Chop them to pieces with your axe|axefight]] [[Fight them with kung fu!|fightwithkungfu]] <<else>>\ You focus your attention on the approaching Andraxxans. What is your plan? [[Chop them to pieces with your axe|axefight]] [[Fight them with kung fu!|fightwithkungfu]] [[Teleport away with your wrist device|telewritst]]<</if>>

You hurl your axe at the glowing fuel cells. Your aim is true and the fuel cells explode in a burst of electrical blue fire, destroying the nearby starships and incinerating a whole platoon of Andraxxans. [[Continue|wnext]]

You charge forward and battle the Andraxxans, clearing a way for the Fuzonians to escape. The trapped Fuzonians begin hurling spears and rocks at the distracted Andraxxans, driving them off. [[Continue|vlbj]]

You punch a button on the device an warp up into the mothership. [[Continue|dockinsg]]

<<if visited("lasrshield")>>\ The approaching warriors surround you. What do you do? [[Fight them with kung fu!|fightwithkungfu]] <<else>>\ The approaching warriors surround you. What do you do? [[Fight them with kung fu!|fightwithkungfu]] [[Teleport away with your wrist device|telewritst]]<</if>>

<<if visited("kfsb")>>\ Time begins to slow down as you focus your energy. You remember the teachings of Zark Vim and the rest of the Fuzonian monks. You take a deep breath and suddenly launch a vicious attack, unloading a flurry of kicks and punches against the Andraxxans. You fight with the ferocity of a caged tiger, breaking bones and cracking skulls. The Andraxxans collapse to the floor around you. [[Continue|beathikungfu]] <<else>>\ You drop into what you think is a cool kung fu fighting pose, but since you never took the time to train in kung fu, you have no idea what you're doing! You throw a few sloppy punches at the Andraxxans, but there are too many of them. You give up trying to use kung fu and simply begin beating the Andraxxans to death with their own weapons. [[Continue|beathikungfu]]<</if>>

The Andraxxans reach out to grab you but you push the button on your wrist and warp away! They look around in confusion as you begin sprinting down one of the ship's many passageways. [[Continue|shippassage]]

With the Andraxxans defeated, you spring away and sprint down one of the ship's many passageways. [[Continue|shippassage]]

<<if visited("savezarka")>>\ You can hear alien voices up ahead. You spin the dial on your chest until you find the right setting. You peer around the corner and spot several Andraxxans interrogating the Elders. [[Continue|elderst]] <<else>>\ You can hear alien voices up ahead. You spin the dial on your chest until you find the right setting. You peer around the corner and spot several Andraxxans interrogating Lady Ventraxx. She looks like she's been badly beaten. [[Continue|elderstooo]]<</if>>

You find yourself standing inside the docking bay. A squad of Andraxxans is charging toward you. You also see a group of starfighters preparing to take off. Glowing blue vats of fuel sit nearby, ready to re-energize ships before takeoff. A well-aimed axe throw could probably detonate the fuel cells and destroy those starfighters, but that would leave you defenseless against the approaching Andraxxans. [[Fight the Andraxxans|fightand]] [[Destroy the fuel cells|destorycells]]

You duel the Andraxxans back and forth across the docking bay, leaving a trail of dead aliens in your wake. The Andraxxans are ferocious fighters, but you are a kung fu space barbarian! It isn't long before you are standing over a pile of bloody Andraxxan corpses. [[Continue|beathikungfu]]

Andraxxan: ...one last chance to tell us where the hidden temple is before we end your worthless lives! [[Continue|reposj]]

Andraxxan: ...one last chance to tell us where the hidden temple is before we end your worthless life! [[Continue|reposj2]]

The Elder's response is unintelligible since you changed the device's setting from Fuzonian to Andraxxan. How frustrating... You consider spinning it again but you don't want to miss what the Andraxxans say. [[Stay and listen|stayandlistn]] [[Charge in and attack|chargantk]]

Andraxxan: If that is your decision, then I suggest you make your peace with whatever gods you pray to! [[Continue|opendoor]]

<<if visited("destorycells")>>\ You rush into the room and grab one of the guard's axes, which you use to chop the surprised Andraxxans to pieces. The Elders stare at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Come on, we need to get out of here!|ladyfnn]] [[You can thank me later. Let's get moving!|ladyfnn]] <<else>>\ You rush into the room and hack the Andraxxan guards to pieces. The Elders stare at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Come on, we need to get out of here!|ladyfnn]] [[You can thank me later. Let's get moving!|ladyfnn]]<</if>>

Lady Ventraxx's response is unintelligible since you changed the device's setting from Fuzonian to Andraxxan. How frustrating... You consider spinning it again but you don't want to miss what the Andraxxans say. [[Stay and listen|stayandlistn2]] [[Charge in and attack|chargantk2]]

Andraxxan: If that is your decision, then I suggest you make your peace with whatever gods you pray to! [[Continue|opendoor5]]

<<if visited("destorycells")>>\ You rush into the room and grab one of the guard's axes, which you use to chop the surprised Andraxxans to pieces. Lady Ventraxx stares at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Continue|ladyf]] <<else>>\ You rush into the room and hack the Andraxxan guards to pieces. Lady Ventraxx stares at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Continue|ladyf]]<</if>>

Just then you hear a hiss on the far side of the room. A door slides open and you see a group of Fuzonian prisoners being led inside by Andraxxan guards. $alien is with them! [[Charge in and attack|chargl]] [[Stay and listen|staylistn]]

<<if visited("destorycells")>>\ You rush into the room and grab one of the guard's axes, which you use to chop the surprised Andraxxans to pieces. $alien rushes forward and wraps you in a big hug. The Elders stare at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Come on, we need to get out of here!|ladyfnn]] [[You can thank me later. Let's get moving!|ladyfnn]] <<else>>\ You rush into the room and hack the Andraxxan guards to pieces. $alien rushes forward and wraps you in a big hug. The Elders stare at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Come on, we need to get out of here!|ladyfnn]] [[You can thank me later. Let's get moving!|ladyfnn]]<</if>>

Andraxxan: More prisoners, Zark Grakk. This one claims to know the location of the hidden temple. [[Continue|loca]]

The Andraxxan shoves $alien to the ground. [[Charge in and attack|chargl]] [[Stay and listen|staylistn2]]

Andraxxan: It only takes one to deliver a message. You, come with me. Kill the rest. [[Charge in and attack|chargl]] [[Stay and listen|staylistn23]]

The Andraxxan Zark drags $alien out of the room. The Andraxxan knights immediately butcher the captured Fuzonians. [[Charge in and attack|chargatoik]] [[Go back and search the ship|searchsip]]

<<if visited("destorycells")>>\ You rush into the room and grab one of the guard's axes, which you use to chop the surprised Andraxxans to pieces. Unfortunately, you are too late to save the Fuzonians. You leave the room and begin searching for $alien. [[Go back and search the ship|searchsip]] <<else>>\ You rush into the room and hack the Andraxxan guards to pieces, but you are too late to save the Fuzonians. You leave the room and begin searching for $alien. [[Go back and search the ship|searchsip]]<</if>>

<<if visited("destorycells")>>\ A warning alarm begins echoing throughout the ship. The doorways up ahead swish open and dozens of Andraxxans come stumbling out, choking on clouds of billowing blue smoke. You realize suddenly that the smoke is coming from the docking bay- from the fuel cells you destroyed earlier. One of the Andraxxans begins speaking to you in broken Fuzonian. [[Continue|fuelscsl]] <<else>>\ You enter a control room, where Andraxxan pilots and techs are busy running the massive starship. They notice your arrival and begin to panic. An alarm begins to sound as the Andraxxans scatter for the exits. [[Continue|excischt]]<</if>>

<<if visited("destorycells")>>\ You rush into the room and grab one of the guard's axes, which you use to chop the surprised Andraxxans to pieces. $alien rushes forward and wraps you in a big hug. Lady Ventraxx stares at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Continue|ladyf]] <<else>>\ You rush into the room and hack the Andraxxan guards to pieces. $alien rushes forward and wraps you in a big hug. Lady Ventraxx stares at you in utter disbelief. You quickly spin your dial back to the "Fuzonian" setting. [[Continue|ladyf]]<</if>>

Andraxxan: More prisoners, Zark Grakk. This one claims to know the location of the hidden temple. [[Continue|loca5]]

The Andraxxan shoves $alien to the ground. [[Charge in and attack|chargl6]] [[Stay and listen|staylistn25]]

Andraxxan: It only takes one to deliver a message. You, come with me. Kill the rest. [[Charge in and attack|chargl6]] [[Stay and listen|staylistn236]]

The Andraxxan Zark drags $alien out of the room. The Andraxxan knights immediately butcher the captured Fuzonians. [[Charge in and attack|chargatoik6]] [[Go back and search the ship|searchsip]]

Lady Ventraxx: What... what are you doing here, Outsider? [[I came here to save your sorry ass.|savya]] [[I'm here to make sure these Andraxxan dogs leave this planet without summoning the Star King.|savya]]

Lady Ventraxx: I would not have expected such honor in an outsider... Perhaps I was wrong about you. [[Continue|foreheadtouches]]

<<if visited("chargantk2")>>\ Lady Ventraxx grabs one of the laser rifles and leads you out into the passageway. She motions for you to follow her, pointing at something up ahead. [[Continue|followher]] <<else>>\ Lady Ventraxx and the other Fuzonians grab laser rifles and axes off the dead Andraxxans. Lady Ventraxx leads you out into the passageway. She motions for you to follow her, pointing at something up ahead. [[Continue|followher]]<</if>>

<<if visited("chargantk2")>>\ You shove one of the laser rifles into Lady Ventraxx's arms and lead her out into the passageway. She motions for you to follow her, pointing at something up ahead. [[Continue|followher]] <<else>>\ You shove one of the laser rifles into Lady Ventraxx's arms and lead her and the other Fuzonians out into the passageway. Lady Ventraxx motions for you to follow her, pointing at something up ahead. [[Continue|followher]]<</if>>

Andraxxan: The ship... going boom! Must... run! [[Continue|booooom]]

You can see dozens of Andraxxan starfighters through the windows spin around and begin firing at you. You realize that the Andraxxan pilots must have signaled that the mothership had been boarded, and that the ship should be destroyed rather than captured! [[Continue|booooom]]

A sudden explosion rocks the ship, followed by a second right after. You're thrown from your feet as the ship begins to plummet toward the ground. [[Continue|crash]]

The crash is catastrophic. You smack your head against one of the chrome walls and feel the heat of blue flames licking at your skin, but you are unable to react. You notice with a dull sense of wonder that a giant shard of metal has completely severed your right arm at the elbow. You are losing a lot of blood. The voice of your father seems to call out to you from somewhere very far away. Everything goes dark and you pass out. [[Continue|waking]]

A familiar voice brings you to your senses. [[Continue|thevoice]]

You lead the Fuzonians out into the passageway and down one of the long hallways. [[Continue|followher]]

Voice: ...will live, but the pain will be quite intense for some time. Shingity-slice! That won't feel nice. [[Thrakk... is that you?|thk]] [[Am I dead?|amided]]

Thrakk: Yes, I am here my barbarian friend. I've been assisting with the wounded on the battlefield. You're lucky to be alive. Well, maybe you won't feel lucky. [[Did anyone else survive?|survio]] [[My arm... I remember my arm...|armsl]]

Thrakk: Nopety-noo! Not yet. I've been assisting with the wounded on the battlefield. You're lucky to be alive. Well, maybe you won't feel lucky. [[Did anyone else survive?|survio]] [[My arm... I remember my arm...|armsl]]

Thrakk: A few. Do you feel pain? Ouchy-ows? [[My arm... I can't feel my arm...|armsl]]

Thrakk: Choppity-chop! Lost it in the crash! Sorry to tell you. The healing salves will make the burns feel nice, but the scars will remain. Boom-skaa! Fuzonians like scars. $alien will be very pleased to see them. You two have a bond. But the arm... well, take a look and see for yourself. [[Continue|lookdown]]

Your head feels extremely heavy, but you manage to roll your neck and look down at your arm. It looks too shiny... and the shape is wrong. You close your eyes and grit your teeth. [[What did you do to me?|dotome]] [[Is that an Andraxxan laser cannon melded to my arm?|lasercannon]]

Thrakk: I fused an Andraxxan laser cannon to your arm. The stump was useless, so I gave you an upgrade. Zowee-zow! Do you like it? It was the best I could do with what I had. I salvaged some parts from the battlefield. You can kill more Andraxxans with this then you could with that old axe anyway. [[You're mad. But I love it! Ouch. Talking hurts...|talkinghurts]] [[If that isn't the most badass thing I've ever seen in my life...|talkinghurts]]

Thrakk: It is indeed! Zowee-zow! Do you like it? It was the best I could do with what I had. I salvaged some parts from the battlefield. You can kill more Andraxxans with this then you could with that old axe anyway. [[You're mad. But I love it! Ouch. Talking hurts...|talkinghurts]] [[If that isn't the most badass thing I've ever seen in my life...|talkinghurts]]

Thrakk: Wonderful. Wee-doo! But you must get up now. Things are about to get very bad! [[Continue|verybad]]

Thrakk jams a huge needle into your chest. You gasp and sit straight up. Your vision clears and you realize that you're sitting on a stone slab in the middle of a crumbling cavern. [[Where are we?|wheres]] [[Where is everyone else?|everj]]

Thrakk: Meep-ee-dee! We are in one of the caverns beneath the crust of Fuzonia. The Andraxxan mothership destroyed miles of land when it crashed. The hidden temple has been revealed, and the Andraxxans are now attempting to summon the Star King! You must go fight them! [[Where is everyone else?|everj]] [[Am I the only survivor?|everj]]

<<if visited ("barbarianPrince")>>\ Thrakk: Most are dead. The Andraxxans have captured Vulma and are going to sacrifice her to the Star King. You must get moving if you wish to save her! [[Point me in the right direction!|rightdirection]] <<else>>\ Thrakk: Most are dead. The Andraxxans have captured Zalbraak and are going to sacrifice him to the Star King. You must get moving if you wish to save him! [[Point me in the right direction!|rightdirection]]<</if>>

Thrakk leads your down one of the tunnels. Your body aches, but you manage to hobble after him. You glance down at the laser cannon grafted to your arm. Your left hand touches the Morphological Dial at your chest. The chrome gauntlet glitters on your wrist. You chuckle to yourself. You're becoming more and more alien by the minute. If the people back home could see you now... [[Continue|thiswaay]]

Thrakk: This way, barbarian! This metal chamber is a warp room used by the Ancients. I'll enter the coordinates and send you to the temple's location. Blipity-blee! [[Thank you, Thrakk.|thanksthr]] [[Makkana, Thrakk.|makannas]]

Thrakk: You are most welcome, barbarian. Please don't let the Star King destroy our planet. [[I'll do my best.|domenyes]] [[I'll blast the Star King to smithereens with this laser cannon!|domenyes]]

Thrakk: An'kaja, barbarian. Please don't let the Star King destroy our planet. [[I'll do my best.|domenyes]] [[I'll blast the Star King to smithereens with this laser cannon!|domenyes]]

Thrakk smiles and punches in a code on the warp room. You step inside and the doors close. There is a flash of light and suddenly you find yourself standing in the center of a huge alien temple. [[Continue|alinm]]

The temple chamber is made of polished chrome. Rows of sleek, twisting columns line the room, stretching up to the ceiling high above. A group of Andraxxan priests have formed a ring around $alien, who is tied to one of the columns. [[Continue|notspot]]

You could try to get close to them by creeping between the columns, or you could ascend a metal staircase to your right. The stairs appear to lead to a balcony. If you climbed up there you could observe the ceremony from the shadows above. [[Sneak between the columns|colmnn]] [[Climb the stairs|stairclime]]

You spin the dial on your chest as you creep closer. The words of the Andraxxans come into focus. [[Continue|speaking]]

You spin the dial on your chest as you climb the stairs. By the time you reach the balcony, the words of the Andraxxans have come into focus. [[Continue|speaking]]

Andraxxan Priest: ...as the prophecy foretold. We will spill the blood of this native, and thus shall the Star King's thirst be sated! Born of blood, forged in darkness, we are your humble servants. Arise, Star King! Arise and feast on the fires of a thousand suns! [[Continue|uhohn]]

The Andraxxan priest raises a glowing dagger over his head, ready to plunge it into $alien's heart. What do you do? [[Shoot the priest in the face with your laser cannon|shotface]] [[Demand they stop this madness at once|demandsoj]]

You point your laser cannon arm at the priest's head. The simple act of thinking about shooting causes it to happen, the same as if you'd thought about clenching your hand into a fist. The priest's head explodes in a spray of green goo, splattering everything in blood. The other Andraxxans break ranks and scatter, yammering about the fury of the Star King. [[Continue|arrivsafe]]

<<if visited("colmnn")>>\ The priest pauses with his dagger raised in midair. The Andraxxans look around in confusion. You step out from behind the column and stand before them in a dramatic pose. They recoil at the sight of you; a demon from the shadows, covered in scars and grafted with metal. [[Continue|metalfrh]] <<else>>\ The priest pauses with his dagger raised in midair. The Andraxxans look around in confusion. You step out to the edge of the platform and stand before them in a dramatic pose. They recoil at the sight of you; a demon standing high above them, covered in scars and grafted with metal. [[Continue|metalfrh]]<</if>>

<<if visited("stairclime")>>\ You leap off the balcony and rush to untie $alien. [[Continue|untief]] <<else>>\ You rush forward to untie $alien. [[Continue|untief]]<</if>>

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ $alien flinches away at your touch. Her body is covered in burns and scars, and she can barely keep her eyes open. [[It's all right! You're safe. I've got you.|igotyou]] [[Vulma... It's me.|igotyou]] <<else>>\ $alien flinches away at your touch. His body is covered in burns and scars, and he can barely keep his eyes open. [[It's all right! You're safe. I've got you.|igotyou]] [[Zalbraak... It's me.|igotyou]]<</if>>

$alien: The words have been spoken and blood has been spilled! The Star King is here! [[Did I just accidentally summon the Star King?|hapnn]] [[By Shergblatt's hairy butt crack!|hapnn]]

You begin to run. At that moment the creature's eyes open and the glass shatters. The Star King steps out of his stasis chamber and flexes. The beast reminds you of an elephant. [[Keep running|running]] [[Shoot the Star King|shotsht]] [[Talk to the Star King|talktoskj]]

You aim your laser cannon at the glass tube, but at that moment the creature's eyes open and the glass shatters. The Star King steps out of his stasis chamber and flexes. The beast reminds you of an elephant. [[Run away|running5]] [[Shoot the Star King|shotsht]] [[Talk to the Star King|talktoskj]]

You continue to run, but you realize that $alien has stopped. You notice $alien's eyes are glowing with the same hellish green fire as the Star King's. [[Continue|uohsf]]

You shoot at the Star King, but he morphs into a blob of goo and the laser bolt passes by harmlessly. The Shyfter reforms and begins to laugh. [[Continue|illbethere]]

You begin to run, but you realize that $alien remains frozen. You notice $alien's eyes are glowing with the same hellish green fire as the Star King's. [[Continue|uohsf]]

<<if visited("prince")>>\ $alien: Your Highness... you came for me. [[Of course I did. Now let's get you out of these cursed chains!|chains]] [[I will always come for you.|chains]] <<else>>\ $alien: Barbarian... you came for me. [[Of course I did. Now let's get you out of these cursed chains!|chains]] [[I will always come for you.|chains]]<</if>>

The ground begins to rumble as the floor in the center of the room slides open. [[What the hell is happening?|sommon]] [[What new deviltry is this!?|sommon]]

You grab $alien and step back as a giant glass tube emerges from the floor. The tube is filled with bubbling green liquid. A huge creature floats inside... a Shyfter. [[We need to run NOW!|runnnow]] [[We have to destroy this thing before it escapes!|dethyk]]

What will you say to this primordial being? [[I am your summoner, Star King. Heed my words!|hebme]] [[Skagg! I remember you! You are the Frozen King! I killed you in the first game!|firstgam]]

Lady Ventraxx stands. She clasps her hand behind your neck and touches her forehead to yours. [[Continue|touch2]]

Lady Ventraxx: You have the heart of a Fuzonian. [[No need to thank me. Just grab a weapon and follow me, we need to find a way to destroy this ship.|destroytheship]] [[You can apologize later. We have work to do.|workd]]

Andraxxan: A heretic from beyond! It has come to sabotage our ritual. Kill the native and summon the Star King now! [[Shoot the priest in the face with your laser cannon|shotface]]

Star King: I heed the words of no mortal. I am Infinity. [[That's very dramatic but... I can't let you destroy the universe!|cantletyouf]] [[Skagg! I remember you! You are the Frozen King! I killed you in the first game!|firstgam]]

Star King: Your feeble mind cannot even begin to grasp the vastness of my power. I am called many things on many worlds. The Star King, The Fire King, The Frozen King... I have more incarnations spread throughout the universe than there are stars in the sky. I am Infinity! [[I am a barbarian! I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life fighting a thousand versions of you- wherever your evil strikes, I will be there to battle you, Shyfter!|illbethere]] [[If there is no hope... then I should give up now.|giveupnow]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ The Star King's eyes flash with hellish green fire. $alien turns to you. Her eyes glow with the same green flame. [[Continue|uohsf]] <<else>>\ The Star King's eyes flash with hellish green fire. $alien turns to you. His eyes glow with the same green flame. [[Continue|uohsf]]<</if>>

Star King: Yes... bow before me, barbarian. Accept me as your King, and all will be well. [[Kneel before the Star King|kneelin]] [[Shoot the Star King|shotsht]]

In the face of overwhelming defeat, you simply give up. You drop to your knees and submit yourself to the will of the Star King. You are broken, barbarian. You have shamed your ancestors and brought disgrace to all humanity. The Star King devours your body first before destroying the planet, and eventually, the entire universe. You have failed... [[Try again?|traylg]]

$alien: Resistance is futile. My power is all-encompassing. Prepare for your destruction, mortal! [[Continue|attacked]]

$alien grabs the dagger off the dead Andraxxan priest and attack you with it. [[Snap out of it! He's controlling your mind!|snapout]] [[Hey! It's me! Stop attacking, I don't want to hurt you!|snapout]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ Your words have no effect. $alien tries to drive the dagger through your heart. As you dodge the wild attacks, you notice that the Star King's broken stasis chamber is equipped with some sort of breathing apparatus, likely filled with combustible gas. If you shot that, you might be able to destroy the Star King, but you'll take a nasty cut from that knife... [[Shoot Vulma|shootvulma]] [[Shoot the gas cells|gascall]] <<else>>\ Your words have no effect. $alien tries to drive the dagger through your heart. As you dodge the wild attacks, you notice that the Star King's broken stasis chamber is equipped with some sort of breathing apparatus, likely filled with combustible gas. If you shot that, you might be able to destroy the Star King, but you'll take a nasty cut from that knife... [[Shoot Zalbraak|shootvulma]] [[Shoot the gas cells|gascall]]<</if>>

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ You aim your laser cannon at $alien and fire, vaporizing an enormous hole through her chest. The Star King squeals in pain. The green fire leaves $alien's eyes as she collapses to the ground. You spin to look at the Star King, who seems to have been injured through some strange telepathic connection. [[Continue|telly]] <<else>>\ You aim your laser cannon at $alien and fire, vaporizing an enormous hole through his chest. The Star King squeals in pain. The green fire leaves $alien's eyes as he collapses to the ground. You spin to look at the Star King, who seems to have been injured through some strange telepathic connection. [[Continue|telly]]<</if>>

You aim your laser cannon at the gas cells and fire, but the shot goes wide as $alien plunges the dagger into your chest. The blade sinks deep into the Morphological Dial. A burst of electricity zaps through your body as the Dial shatters. $alien collapses to the ground in a heap, but you grit your teeth and manage to stay standing. The Star King laughs. [[Continue|taunts]]

Star King: You have spunk, barbarian. You aren't like any of the other heroes I've encountered. We will do battle one day, but it is not this day. I look forward to clashing steel with you. [[I'm not done with you yet, Star King!|allthepwoersh]] [[You have no power to dismiss me!|dismisss2]]

Star King: Quite the contrary, little barbarian. I have all the power in the Universe! [[Continue|allthepwoersh]]

The Star King laughs and rips open a portal in midair. He leaps through and vanishes, but the portal remains. The shimmering images within the portal begin to change. The stars vanish and you find yourself peering into your father's throne room. The vizier sits on the throne, your father's crown perched atop his head. A host of barbarian thralls- your kinsmen- kneel at his feet. [[Continue|theends]]

You realize that the Star King is taunting you. You have no doubt that if you step into the portal, you will find yourself back home, in the throne room you see before you. You will have your chance to kill the vizier... but if you leave now, you may never have a chance to defeat the Star King again. [[Continue|vulmasss]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ You look back at $alien, lying motionless on the ground. She is still breathing, and she will most likely survive. But the choice... it eats at you. What will you do? Will you step through the portal, kill the vizier, and take your revenge? Or will you remain here, on Fuzonia, with $alien and Thrakk and the Fuzonian monks, and find a way to defeat the Star King together? [[Enter the portal|enterportal]] [[Stay on Fuzonia|stayonfuzon]] <<else>>\ You look back at $alien, lying motionless on the ground. He is still breathing, and he will most likely survive. But the choice... it eats at you. What will you do? Will you step through the portal, kill the vizier, and take your revenge? Or will you remain here, on Fuzonia, with $alien and Thrakk and the Fuzonian monks, and find a way to defeat the Star King together? [[Enter the portal|enterportal]] [[Stay on Fuzonia|stayonfuzon]]<</if>>

You take one last look at $alien before stepping into the portal. [[Continue|secondend]]

You turn your back on the portal. You hear the echoing laughter of the Star King as the shimmering portal dissolves into nothingness. You kneel beside $alien's battered body. [[Continue|finaldh]]

$alien says something to you, but with the dial destroyed you aren't able to understand the words. You do, however, catch the Fuzonian word for "scars." A grin spreads across your face. [[Continue|likemen]]

A hero's welcome awaits you in Duskana. The Fuzonians cheer your name and throw an elaborate pizza party as you walk through the streets. The Star King may have gotten away, but the Andraxxans have fled the planet, and Fuzonia is safe... for now. [[Continue|endaline]]

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ $alien smiles and closes her eyes. You scoop her up and carry her home. She rests her head on your mighty chest, comforted by the rise and fall of your breathing, the strong and steady beat of your heart. You have a strange smell about you- foreign herbs, perhaps, and sweat- but it is a good smell. Primal. Safe. [[Continue|reutn]] <<else>>\ $alien smiles and closes his eyes. You scoop him up and carry him home. He rests his head on your mighty chest, comforted by the rise and fall of your breathing, the strong and steady beat of your heart. You have a strange smell about you- foreign herbs, perhaps, and sweat- but it is a good smell. Primal. Safe. [[Continue|reutn]]<</if>>

Thrakk fits you with a brand new Morphological Dial featuring automatic language detection before you head to the Fuzonian palace. Lady Ventraxx is waitng for you there. She places her hand over her heart and drops into a deep bow. [[Continue|ventr]]

Lady Ventraxx: Never in my life have I been so wrong. You have shown true courage and bravery in the face of utter annihilation. By all rights, you should be dead... and yet here you stand; battered, broken, but alive. You have saved us all. We owe you our lives... Zarkaja. [[Makkana, Lady Ventraxx.|makannavent]]

Lady Ventraxx: An'kaja, Zarkaja. [[Continue|finales]]

You take your place on the throne of Fuzonia amidst the cheers of the gathered aliens. You smile down at $alien, Thrakk, and the other Fuzonian warriors you met on your journey. [[Continue|kungufspace]]

There is a long road ahead, barbarian, but with strength, courage, and a noble heart, you will be ready to face anything. Now go grab a slice of pizza. You earned it. [[TO BE CONTINUED...!|contss]]

Thank you for playing Crypt Shyfter: Exile! If you enjoyed this adventure, please share it with your friends and write a review! To play more adventures in the Crypt Shyfter universe, visit [[Newgrounds|https://kungfuspacebarbarian.newgrounds.com/games/]] Wanna be the first to play new games? [[Join the tribe!|http://newgrounds.us16.list-manage2.com/subscribe?u=01eae0daa47b660252cece3d3&id=f244cd6339]]

The barbarians gasp as you materialize in the middle of the throne room and walk up to the vizier without breaking stride. The light from the torches glitters off your alien gear. You point your laser cannon at the vizier, who stares at you, mouth agape. [[Continue|hahaha]]

Say something badass before you blast him into space dust: [[This is for my father.|killviz]] [[Eat laser death, motherfucker.|killviz]] [[Tonight you sleep in Hell!|killviz]]

<<if visited("waves")>>\ Before the vizier can react, you hurl the sizzling axe into his face and paint the walls with his blood. Your father's crown clinks to the floor. The gathered barbarians stare at you in stunned silence for a moment, then burst into cheers. [[Continue|thrones]] <<else>>\ Before the vizier can react, you vaporize his face and paint the walls with his blood. Your father's crown clinks to the floor. The gathered barbarians stare at you in stunned silence for a moment, then burst into cheers. [[Continue|thrones]]<</if>>

<<if visited("barbarianPrince")>>\ You pick up your father's bloody crown and place it on your head as you take your rightful place on the throne. All the beefy barbarian dudes and sexy barbarian babes throw themselves at your feet adoringly. Life is about to get really good. Hail to the king, baby. [[Continue|tthheend]] <<else>>\ You pick up your father's bloody crown and place it on your head as you take your rightful place on the throne. All the beefy barbarian dudes and sexy barbarian babes throw themselves at your feet adoringly. Life is about to get really good. All hail the Queen, baby. [[Continue|tthheend]]<</if>>

Several weeks pass. Even though you've returned home and avenged your father's death, you still feel like an outsider for some reason. Your days are filled with fine wine, good food, and fancy clothes, but at night your mind begins to wander. You grow restless, and you long for the thrill of adventure once more. With each passing day, you find your thoughts returning again and again toward the vast cosmos... toward an alien world called Fuzonia. [[Continue|eeenn]]

Will you ever see it again? Perhaps. But that is a tale for another time. [[TO BE CONTINUED...!|contss]]

The Star King laughs at $alien's lifeless corpse before ripping open a portal in midair. He leaps through and vanishes, but the portal remains. The shimmering images within the portal begin to change. The stars vanish and you find yourself peering into your father's throne room. The vizier sits on the throne, your father's crown perched atop his head. A host of barbarian thralls- your kinsmen- kneel at his feet. [[Continue|theends2]]

You look back at $alien's dead body. Your strongest connection to this world is now gone, but the people here still need you. What will you do? Will you step through the portal, kill the vizier, and take your revenge? Or will you remain here, on Fuzonia, with Thrakk and the primitive Fuzonians, and find a way to defeat the Star King together? [[Enter the portal|enterportal]] [[Stay on Fuzonia|stayonfuzon2]]

You turn your back on the portal. You hear the echoing laughter of the Star King as the shimmering portal dissolves into nothingness. You kneel beside $alien's battered corpse. [[Continue|finaldhg]]

A single tear rolls down your cheek. Damn the Star King... DAMN HIM! [[Continue|pickup]]

You place your hand over the dead alien's forehead before scooping up the body and carrying it home. [[Continue|reutn2]]

The Fuzonians hold a solemn funeral for their fallen comrades. You are hailed as a hero, but your victory feels hollow. The pizza parties and video game tournaments are meaningless without $alien. [[Continue|kdkjl]]

You solemnly take your place on the throne as Zarkaja of Fuzonia. There is a long road ahead, barbarian, but with strength, courage, and a noble heart, you will be ready to face anything. [[TO BE CONTINUED...!|contss]]

This desert seems to be filled with small pockets of wormholes or rips in the fabric of space-time. You pass through volcanic islands, jungles, frozen wastelands, alien hellscapes, and other exotic locales, always returning to the desert when you take just a few more steps. [[Continue|meeting]]

As you step into one of these odd dimensions once again you see your first sign of life: a white-and-orange striped gorilla. The gorilla is wearing a long robe and holding a twisted wooden staff. He seems to be deep in thought. [[I'm so thirsty... do you have water?|wheream]] [[Are you real?|areyourel]]

Shaman: Water falls from the heavens, water runs down the hill, water fills the pond, but no water fills my cups. [[...is that a no?|thataon]] [[Are you real?|areyourel]]

Shaman: I leave the philosophers to discuss questions of illusion and reality. What I do know is this: if our existence is an illusion, than I am part of it, and thus the illusion is real to me. So should it be to you. [[Crazy alien...|crazyalien]] [[Who are you?|whuu]]

Shaman: There will be water if the gods will it. [[Crazy alien...|crazyalien]] [[Are you real?|areyourel]] [[Who are you?|whuu]]

Shaman: You may think me crazy, but at least I'm not the one lost in the Desert of Mysteries, my wandering barbarian friend. [[You know my plight?|knowm]] [[I seek to return home. Can you show me the way?|shwtyhe]]

Shaman: I go by many names. None that you could pronounce, my wandering barbarian friend. [[You know my plight?|knowm]] [[I seek to return home. Can you show me the way?|shwtyhe]]

Shaman: I know many things, though most of them are irrelevant. For example, I just learned how to make these cute little ducks out of paper! Aren't these marvelous? Oh, the universe is filled with never-ending surprises! [[Do you have magic? Can you send me home?|shwtyhe]] [[This is a waste of my bloody time...|wastehsi]]

Shaman: Indeed. I can send you anywhere you desire- but once you go, you will never see me again, and you will likely never return to this planet. The people here- and billions more across the universe- will die, but you will save your people and take your revenge against that nasty vizier. Just say the word. If you wish to return home, all I need to do is wave my hand. [[I... I must return home. My people need me.|nedme]] [[If I stay and help these creatures, will I be able to find you again?|findagain]]

Shaman: Where will you go, barbarian? Back into the desert to wander some more? You may be primitive, but surely you have more brains than that. [[Can you send me home, shaman?|shwtyhe]]

Shaman: Very well. [[Continue|waves]]

Shaman: Life is a mystery, barbarian. Perhaps our paths will meet again, but that is not for me to say. [[Send me home.|nedme]] [[Send me back to that Fuzonian.|foznn]]

Shaman: Very well. [[Continue|wave]]

The shaman waves his hand and the world shimmers around you. You appear near the rocky ridge, where $alien is speaking words over the dead. [[I have decided to stay.|decideton]] [[I have returned, Fuzonian. Your people need me.|decideton]]

The shaman waves his hand and the world shimmers around you. The gathered barbarian thralls gasp as you materialize in the middle of the throne room and walk up to the vizier without breaking stride. The light from the torches glitters off your alien axe. You point the blade of the axe at the vizier, who stares at you, mouth agape. [[Continue|hahaha]]

Zark Vim: It is a Fuzonian saying. It means "May the moons of Fuzonia smile ever upon your path." The customary response is An'kaja: "And may you one day dance with your ancestors among the stars." [[An'kaja, Zark Vim.|akl]] [[Zark? Is that like Zarkaja?|zarka]] [[Can you teach me kung fu, old man?|oldman]] [[Where is this place?|whereis]]

Zark Vim places a hand over his heart and bows to you. [[What does Zark mean? Is that like Zarkaja?|zarka]] [[Can you teach me kung fu, old man?|oldman]] [[Where is this place?|whereis]]

You look back and see that the Andraxxans have taken the Zarkaja as their prisoner. Before you can reach them, the Andraxxans warp out of existence with Lady Ventraxx in chains. [[Continue|zarkapissedt]]

Elder: Thank you for saving us, barbarian, but the Zarkaja needs your help now! The Andraxxans will torture her to learn the location of the hidden temple. They must not learn its coordinates! [[I will rescue the Zarkaja.|illresuce]] [[To Hell with the Zarkaja! She hates my guts!|hatesmyguts]]

Elder: Your heart is pure, Outsider. [[Continue|whatuse]]

Elder: That may be so, but if the Andraxxans learn the location of the secret temple, they will summon the Star King and destroy the universe! [[Fine... I will rescue the Zarkaja.|illresuce]] [[I'm only doing this so the universe doesn't get destroyed.|illresuce]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: The Zarkaja is both wise and strong, but to be tortured by the Andraxxans... that may prove to be too much. Will she break and reveal our secrets? Only the gods can tell. [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchanges2n]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]]

Warchief Tor'Akk: Would you like an exact number? I do not wish to deter you from your chosen path. If you knew our chances for success, you might not have agreed to help us in the first place. You might even now turn your back on us and search instead for a way back to your own home. Then again, if we fail here... you most likely won't have a home to return to. [[Do you think the Zarkaja will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|withey2h]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk]]

$alien: The Zarkaja is both strong and wise, but to be tortured by the Andraxxans... that may prove to be too much. Will she break and reveal our secrets? Only the gods can tell. [[What are our chances of defeating the Andraxxans before they summon the Star King?|whatarchangesl]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]

$alien: Would you like an exact number? I do not wish to deter you from your chosen path. If you knew our chances for success, you might not have agreed to help us in the first place. You might even now turn your back on us and search instead for a way back to your own home. Then again, if we fail here... you most likely won't have a home to return to. [[Do you think the Zarkaja will reveal the location of the hidden temple?|witheyl]] [[Let's visit Thrakk now.|visitthrakk2]]

Well... the bad news is you're dead, and you lose. Sucks to be you. The good news is you unlocked a secret song! The other bad news is you can only listen to it on this page. Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. Otherwise, you can be content with losing to the Star King right at the end. It's up to you. <<stopallaudio>> <<audio "poop" loop play>>\

You begin pushing buttons at random. Lights begin flashing all over the control panel, but the ship doesn't start up. [[Start flipping switches|sliwn]] [[Start pulling levers|levrpug]] [[Leave the starship and come up with a different plan|difplan]]

You flip one of the switches and the ship hums to life! You feel the ship rise off the ground a few feet and take your seat at the control panel. You see the Fuzonians rise into the air on their sky sharks outside, ready to fly into battle. [[Continue|steering]]

You pull one of the levers and the ship shoots a torpedo out into the desert. The gathered Fuzonians move away from the ship, worried you might accidentally vaporize them. [[Start pushing buttons|pushbuttons]] [[Start flipping switches|sliwn]] [[Leave the starship and come up with a different plan|difplan]]

Intimidated by the sheer complexity of the ship, you jump out and decide on a new plan. [[Let's search for the teleporter.|s4tele]] [[We will surf to the Colossus on these sky sharks.|sky4sj]]

You jump on your sky shark and lead your small army down deep into the canyon below Duskana. [[Continue|ontheskysharks]]

You jump on your sky shark and lead your small army up into the clouds. [[Continue|ontheskysharks2]]

You grip the alien steering wheel and try to figure out how to get this thing moving. [[Push forward to fly forward?|push4]] [[Pull backward to fly forward?|pulback]]

You push forward on the controls and suddenly your ship rockets backward! $alien begins screaming about miscalculations and user errors. You quickly adjust and yank back on the controls, which causes your ship to immediately shoot forward, smushing you back into your seat. You zip past the other Fuzonians and soar into the clouds. [[Continue|flyinginstlye]]

You pull back on the controls and your ship immediately shoots forward, smushing you back into your seat. You zip past the other Fuzonians and soar into the clouds. [[Continue|flyinginstlye]]

You leave the other Fuzonians far behind as you zoom through the skies. It isn't long before you see bursts of light coming from somewhere up ahead. You fly out of a billowy cloud and see a huge battle taking place in the valley below. Smaller Fuzonian tribes have engaged the Andraxxans in a massive battle. [[Continue|skybatlk]]

Andraxxan starships fly around like a swarm of bees, and high above you can see a huge warship: the Colossus, the Andraxxan's mothership. You fly straight at it. [[Continue|bualjg]]

$alien: I have the proper access codes right here. Assuming the Andraxxans haven't altered any of their codes, these should get us inside without a problem. Otherwise, we may be vaporized by their defense cannons. [[Those codes better work then!|codesm]] [[You should have told me this before we got into this flying tin can!|codesm]]

$alien laughs as you approach the hangar bay. A hailing frequency opens up on your dashboard and $alien punches in the code. There is a slight pause before the lights on the dashboard turn green. You are cleared to enter the mothership. [[Continue|landing]]

You suddenly realize you have no idea how to land this thing. You and $alien brace for impact as you zoom through the hangar and smash into the far wall, wiping out a squad of Andraxxan knights and destroying dozens of parked starships. $alien jumps out of the wreckage and climbs into a ventilation shaft leading deeper into the Colossus. [[Continue|splitup]]

$alien: Excellent landing, my friend! I think it best if we split up- we can cover more ground that way. I will take these ventilation shafts and you search through the main hallways. [[Why do you get to go through the vents?|gothruvents]] [[I prefer a straight fight!|straightfight]]

$alien: You are too beefy and muscly to fit in here! Besides, I think you'll fare better in a straight fight than I would if you run into any trouble. [[Good point.|straightfight]] [[Fine. Just don't get yourself killed, all right?|straightfight]]

<<if visited("prince")>>\ $alien: Good luck, Your Highness! [[Continue|alinemd]] <<else>>\ $alien: Good luck, barbarian! [[Continue|alinemd]]<</if>>

$alien disappears into the vents. A squad of Andraxxans is charging toward you. You also notice a group of starfighters preparing to take off. Glowing blue vats of fuel sit nearby, ready to re-energize ships before takeoff. A well-aimed axe throw could probably detonate the fuel cells and destroy those starfighters, but that would leave you defenseless against the approaching Andraxxans. [[Fight the Andraxxans|fightand]] [[Destroy the fuel cells|destorycells]]

Your eyes go wide as you look through the windshield. $alien is smiling and waving at you from inside. You clamber around to the doorway and climb in. [[What the devil?|dddvi]] [[Where did you get this?|dddvi]]

$alien: It was parked nearby and so I liberated it. Here, take the controls. It's quite fun! [[Continue|fungj]]

You climb into the pilot's seat and begin flying toward the mothership. The controls are surprisingly intuitive. [[Continue|bualjg]]

$alien approaches and points out a small starship nearby. [[Continue|nearbylf]]

$alien: Come with me! We can fly that ship up to the mothership and sneak inside without any problems! [[That sounds risky...|howhard]] [[We don't know how to fly a starship!|howhard]]

$alien: How hard could it be? Come on! [[Continue|fllly]]

$alien charges toward the ship. You roll your eyes and follow. [[Continue|nexttt]]

The ship has a few dents and burns, but it appears to be fine otherwise. You and $alien enter the small ship. You examine the control panel. It is filled with buttons, switches, and levers. You have no idea what anything does. [[Start pushing buttons|pushbuttons4]] [[Start flipping switches|sliwn4]] [[Start pulling levers|levrpug4]]

You begin pushing buttons at random. Lights begin flashing all over the control panel, but the ship doesn't start up. [[Start flipping switches|sliwn4]] [[Start pulling levers|levrpug4]]

You flip one of the switches and the ship hums to life! You feel the ship rise off the ground a few feet and take your seat at the control panel. You see the Fuzonians cheering on the ground outside. [[Continue|steering4]]

You grip the alien steering wheel and try to figure out how to get this thing moving. [[Push forward to fly forward?|push46]] [[Pull backward to fly forward?|pulback6]]

You push forward on the controls and suddenly your ship rockets backward! $alien begins screaming about miscalculations and user errors. You quickly adjust and yank back on the controls, which causes your ship to immediately shoot forward, smushing you back into your seat. You zip past the Fuzonians and zoom up toward the mothership. [[Continue|flyinginstlyeg]]

You pull back on the controls and your ship immediately shoots forward, smushing you back into your seat. You zip past the Fuzonians and fly up toward the mothership. [[Continue|flyinginstlyeg]]