Crypt Shyfter: Limerick

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Crypt Shyfter: Limerick

by kung fu space barbarian
cover art by omenakettu

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<<audio "Track2" loop play>>\ <div style="text-align: center;">\ <b>Crypt Shyfter: Limerick</b><br> by kung fu space barbarian cover art by omenakettu<br> [[Start|CharCreate]] [[How to Play]] [[Credits]] </div>\ <<set $oldtimer = 0>>\ <<set $cas = 0>>\ <<set $inventory= []>>\ <<set $gold = 5>>\

<<display "HUD">> So here you are, escorting an old prospector through canyon after canyon.<br> [[>>>|crappy]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: ...and so I says, “You mean to tell me you ain’t never pickled a girl before?” And wouldn’t you know it, his face turned redder than a bucket of cranberries on hardpan. HAW HAW HAW!<br> [[•Haha... yes, very funny, Old Timer. How much farther is Limerick?]] [[•Enough with the stories, you crusty old fart!]]

<<display "HUD">> As a Paladin, you’re a bit over-qualified. Paladins are knights of justice, after all. Defenders of the innocent, champions of peace, all that good stuff- not unsalted security guards! But when a man offers you a few gold clinkers, you say "I'm your Huckleberry."<br> [[>>>|Limerick?]]

<<cacheaudio "Track1" "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/kungfuspacebarbarian/dreadnaughts/master/537632_The-Gunslinger-Returns.mp3">>\ <<cacheaudio "Track2" "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/kungfuspacebarbarian/dreadnaughts/master/WILDRIDE.mp3">>\ <<cacheaudio "Track3" "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/kungfuspacebarbarian/dreadnaughts/master/SPAGWEST.mp3">>\ <<cacheaudio "Track4" "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/kungfuspacebarbarian/dreadnaughts/master/PEACEMAKER.mp3">>\ <<cacheaudio "poop" "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/kungfuspacebarbarian/dreadnaughts/master/773432_Pooping-In-My-Pants-2016.mp3">>\

<<display "HUD">> You’ve been hired to transport a wagon of supplies to a frontier town called Limerick.<br> [[>>>|criminald]]

<div style="text-align: center;">\ CREDITS: Written by kung fu space barbarian Cover art by omenakettu<br> MUSIC: "The Gunslinger Returns" by ChronoNomad "Wild Ride" by WIGMANN "Spaghetti Western" by primallightmusic "AIM - Peacemaker" by LexRodent<br> [[Back|start2]] </div>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I reckon we’ll be there by sundown as long as we don’t run into any problems crossing Vulture’s Gulch.<br> [[•Vulture’s Gulch?]] [[•That doesn’t sound ominous. Not even a little bit.]] <<set $oldtimer = 1>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Oh- my apologies, Paladin. I was just making a bit of small talk to keep the spirits up. Didn’t mean to offend...<br> [[•Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. This damn heat is starting to get to me.]] [[•You didn’t pay me to talk, grandpa, you paid me to guard. Talking’s extra.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: No harm done. Not the first time someone's told me to shut my yapper. But don't you worry- you'll be rid of me soon enough. I reckon we’ll reach Limerick by sundown as long as we don’t run into any problems crossing Vulture’s Gulch.<br> [[•Vulture’s Gulch?]] [[•That doesn’t sound ominous. Not even a little bit.]] <<set $oldtimer = 1>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Young people these days... ain’t got a lick of respect in 'em.<br> [[•How much farther is Limerick?|•Haha... yes, very funny, Old Timer. How much farther is Limerick?]] [[•I don’t give a donkey's wet turd about your virgin son. Please just shut up.]]

<<display "HUD">> You continue on in silence. After a while you come to the top of a ridge. The old prospector pulls the cart to a stop.<br> [[•Why are we stopping?]] [[•We should keep moving. I want to reach Limerick before sundown.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: They say evil lurks in the shadows of Vulture’s Gulch. That canyon there is the last leg of our trip. You don't think I'd shell out gold nuggets for a Paladin just because I wanted a buckaroo to pal around with, did ya?<br> [[•What can you tell me about Vulture’s Gulch?]] [[•Why didn’t you mention this before?]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Nothing but rumors. You know, the usual stuff: ancient burial mounds, devilish rotspawn, something about a curse. But that don't matter, does it?<br> [[>>>|dontmat]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Didn’t think I had to! You’re a Paladin, after all. I figured you’d be able to handle anything. Why else would you carry all them weapons if not to put down evil beasties and other nasty critters?<br> [[•You bet your ass I can handle anything, Old Timer!]] [[•Killing monsters wasn’t part of the job. Most folk offer hazard pay for dangerous work.|charmer]] (CHARM +$charm)

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Good. I feel better already.<br> [[>>>|•Keep your gold. I’ve been itching for a fight anyway.]]

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeeeded]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|attemptafailed]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Rude as you've been to me, I wanted to make sure you were prepared for what was coming. See that canyon there? That's Vulture's Gulch.<br> [[•Vulture’s Gulch?]] [[•That doesn’t sound ominous. Not even a little bit.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Don't get your britches in a bunch, you sad sack of bones. See that canyon there? That's Vulture's Gulch.<br> [[•Vulture’s Gulch?]] [[•That doesn’t sound ominous. Not even a little bit.]]

<<display "HUD">> You make your way through the shadowy canyon. Suddenly the old prospector pulls the wagon to a halt. The road ahead is blocked by a busted carriage and two dead horses. Their guts are splattered all over the canyon walls.<br> [[•Stay here. I’ll go investigate.]] [[•This feels like a trap. Do you know another way around?]]

<<display "HUD">> You examine the dead horses and the wreckage. The image of a golden stallion has been emblazoned on the shredded saddles. You recognize that image... these horses belonged to Paladins!<br> [[>>>|topal]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: There’s another path half a mile back, but it leads through an old smuggling tunnel. We're sure to run into bandits in that direction.<br> [[•Stay here. I’ll go investigate that wreckage up ahead.]] [[•I'll take bandits over rotspawn any day. We’re going through the smuggling tunnel.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: You’re a Paladin, after all. I figured you’d be able to handle anything. Why else would you carry all them weapons if not to put down evil beasties and other nasty critters?<br> [[•You bet your ass I can handle anything, Old Timer!]] [[•Killing monsters wasn’t part of the job. Most folk offer hazard pay for dangerous work.|charmer]] (CHARM +$charm)

<<display "HUD">> You notice dozens of clawed footprints leading away from the area. It looks like whatever made those prints was dragging something heavy. Before you have time to think, four slavering rotspawn spring out of the shadows and attack!<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Slice and dice 'em with your katana|tana22]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Blast the bad guys with your shotgun|shyty22]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Obliterate them with magic|stafficmag22]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Quickdraw your pistols and shoot|stolo22]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You get off a few good shots, but a rotspawn sinks its teeth into your right arm. You blow the fucker's brains out. The remaining rotspawn flee into the shadows once more.<br> [[>>>|bit]]

<<display "HUD">> Rotspawn: Namtar will devour your soul!<br> [[•Who the hell is Namtar?]] [[•What happened to the Paladins who rode these horses?]]

<<display "HUD">> You level your gun at the rotspawn's head and blow its brains out. The old prospector shivers in disgust. You survey the area once more.<br> [[>>>|fp]]

<<display "HUD">> Rotspawn: Namtar is master! Namtar is life! Namtar will devour your soul!<br> [[•Kill the rotspawn]] [[•Let it live]]

<<display "HUD">> Rotspawn: They're dead. Namtar will devour their souls!<br> [[•Who the hell is Namtar?]] [[•Why are you ambushing Paladins, you disgusting slug?]]

<<display "HUD">> Rotspawn: Namtar demands it. Namtar must feed. Namtar will devour your soul!<br> [[•Kill the rotspawn]] [[•Let it live]]

<<display "HUD">> You release the rotspawn. The pathetic creature shambles away and disappears into the shadows.<br> [[>>>|letit]]

<<display "HUD">> The rotspawn that ambushed you came from the same direction as the footprints leading away from the wreckage. What if one of the Paladins is still alive? You might be able to save them if you follow the footprints, but that would mean leaving the prospector to continue his journey alone, and he already paid for your protection.<br> [[•Stay with the old man and finish your job]] [[•Leave the old man and follow the footprints to search for the Paladins]]

<<display "HUD">> By the time you arrive in Limerick, the sun has already set.<br> [[>>>|sunset]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: You're going to let that thing live!? You've gone soft, Paladin.<br> [[•I'm a protector, not a murderer. That beast is no longer a threat.]] [[•Says the man who's been huddled up under his wagon like a dog in a thunderstorm.]]

<<display "HUD">> The old prospector grunts in disgust. You survey the area once more.<br> [[>>>|fp]]

<<display "HUD">> You turn the wagon around and head for the smuggling tunnel. You can hear voices echoing in the canyon as you approach.<br> [[>>>|voicuhd]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Ugh! Rotspawn. Those things give me the heebie-jeebies!<br> [[>>>|infec]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> Ignoring the old man’s protests, you begin following the trail of footprints. The prospector stubbornly refuses to move from his spot, but you must find out if the Paladins survived. The cranky old geezer can stay there and rot, for all you care.<br> [[>>>|badleave]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You explain the situation to the prospector and he agrees to go with you “as thanks for putting up with my rambling stories.” He isn’t happy about leaving his horse and wagon, but you make sure the horse is well hidden behind a rock outcropping before venturing forth.<br> [[>>>|goodfollow]] <</if>>\

<<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You follow the footprints to the entrance of an old mine. The sun is now setting, and it is getting dark. You raise your skull-topped magic staff and whisper a magic word. The eyes in the skull begin to glow with a pale blue fire, lighting the way ahead.<br> [[>>>|pathahead]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You follow the footprints to the entrance of an old mine. The sun is now setting, and it is getting dark. You grab a torch from your pouch to light the way ahead.<br> [[>>>|pathahead]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You enter the mine and come to a split in the path. To your left, you can hear the echoing sound of clanking metal. To the right you notice an old mine cart on a set of tracks leading deeper into the darkness.<br> [[•Follow the clanking sound]] [[•Jump in the mine cart]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You climb into the mine cart and yank the lever to release the breaks. The rusty metal shrieks in the darkness. The cart grinds forward, slowly at first, then picking up speed. Sparks fly out behind you like a rooster's tail as you begin hurtling down the tracks.<br> [[>>>|mine1]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You and the old man climb into the mine cart and yank the lever to release the breaks. The rusty metal shrieks in the darkness. The cart grinds forward, slowly at first, then picking up speed. Sparks fly out behind you like a rooster's tail as you begin hurtling down the tracks.<br> [[>>>|mine1]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You follow the sound of clanking down a twisting passageway that leads to a vast chasm. The wooden bridge that once spanned this gap has long since crumbled away.<br> [[>>>|ldldl]]

You zoom through the darkness, the sound of grinding metal deafening in your ears. Rotspawn begin swarming out of the shadows, drawn by the sound. You're basically on a theme park roller coaster ride with pop-up monsters that you need to shoot.<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|Shoot!bbc]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Blast them with magic|magicblstsc]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|poistolsc]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|gotcha]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|hitincart]] <</if>>\

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You fire away, but there are too many of them! A bunch of rotspawn throw themselves against your cart, knocking you off the tracks. Your mine cart goes flying over a huge gap and you crash into the abyss far below.<br> [[>>>|dead]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You fire away, but there are too many of them! A bunch of rotspawn throw themselves against your cart, knocking you off the tracks. Your mine cart goes flying over a huge gap and you crash into a pile of dirt on the far side. You brush yourself off and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You blast the rotspawn to bits! Your mine cart goes flying over a huge gap and you crash into a pile of dirt on the far side. You brush yourself off and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]]

<<display "HUD">> A woman in a dirty, ripped dress stumbles out of the tunnel. Her arms are covered in blood, and when she sees you she practically faints.<br> [[•Catch her]] [[•Watch her fall]]

<<display "HUD">> The girl swoons and falls dramatically into your arms. She looks up at you with big doe eyes.<br> [[>>>|myhero]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Well, aren't you gunna catch me, you good-for-nothing lazybones?<br> [[•Uh... yes. Here, fall into my arms.]] [[•Didn't look like you were really going to fall unless I caught you.]]

<<display "HUD">> The girl swoons and falls dramatically into your arms. She looks up at you with big doe eyes.<br> [[>>>|myhero]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> The girl crosses her arms and turns away in disgust. What a weirdo.<br> [[•Are you all right?]] [[•How did you get here?]] [[•Are there Paladins with you?]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: If you ain't gunna catch her, I will!<br> [[>>>|olper]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: My hero!<br> [[>>>|nefuy]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You gently lower the girl to the ground and help her sit up.<br> [[•Are you all right?]] [[•How did you get here?]] [[•Are there Paladins with you?]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Bless my heart, ain't she a beauty!<br> [[>>>|perv]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: No, I most certainly am not all right! Look at this dress! My daddy bought me this dress for close to a hunnert' dollars, and now look at it: RUINED!<br> [[•How did you get here?]] [[•Are there Paladins with you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: I'm sorry, I'm being a bit rude, aren't I? It's just... nerves, is all. My name is Cassidy. I was travelling from Flatiron to Limerick with two Paladins when we were attacked by rotspawn. The Paladins did their best to protect me, but... I think they were cheap Paladins. The rotspawn ripped 'em to shreds.<br> [[>>>|herstory]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Are you blind? Does it look like there are Paladins with me? Those idiots went off and got themselves killed by rotspawn and left me to die!<br> [[•Calm down, I'm here to help.]] [[•Where are the Paladins now?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: I have ears, you fat old pervert. Don't talk like I'm not here. Damn fool...<br> [[•Are you all right?]] [[•How did you get here?]] [[•Are there Paladins with you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: You keep your hands off me, you dirty old pervert!<br> [[•Are you all right?]] [[•How did you get here?]] [[•Are there Paladins with you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Don't you tell me to calm down, fancy-britches! I'll have you know, my daddy is the mayor of Flatiron, and when he finds out about this, he'll take your magic stick away!<br> [[•How is any of this my fault!? I just met you!]] [[•Holy guacamole, you are a grade-A bitch!]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Is that all you care about? Paladins? Fine, they're down that tunnel there. What's left of them, anyway.<br> [[•Investigate the tunnel]] [[•Keep talking to the girl]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: What, you're just gunna leave me here, too??<br> [[•I'm not leaving you anywhere, I just need to see what happened to the other Paladins.]] [[•Come with me if you want.]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cassidy: I'm sorry, I'm being a bit rude, aren't I? It's just... nerves, is all. My name is Cassidy. I was travelling from Flatiron to Limerick with two Paladins when we were attacked by rotspawn. The Paladins did their best to protect me, but... I think they were cheap Paladins. The rotspawn ripped 'em to shreds.<br> [[>>>|herstory]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I'm sorry, I don't think we've made proper introductions! My name is- <br> [[>>>|idont]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> The girl breaks down into loud, fake, wailing tears.<br> [[•Dad-gummit... just wait here a minute, I need to take a peek in this tunnel.]] [[•Ugh! Fine, have it your way. I can feel a breeze in this direction. Let's get out of this damn mine.]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cassidy: My daddy is the mayor of Flatiron. I've lived there my whole life, but then one day out of the blue he told me I needed to leave and get a job. A job! Can you believe that! So he sent me off to Limerick where I'm supposed to be a waitress. How demeaning.<br> [[•Can't imagine why he'd ask you to leave...]] [[•I'm travelling to Limerick as well. Why don't you join me?]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cassidy: My daddy is the mayor of Flatiron. I've lived there my whole life, but then one day out of the blue he told me I needed to leave and get a job. A job! Can you believe that! So he sent me off to Limerick where I'm supposed to be a waitress. How demeaning.<br> [[•Can't imagine why he'd ask you to leave...]] [[•We're travelling to Limerick as well. Why don't you join us?]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: I don't give a crow's foot what your name is, old feller. You two will lead me out of this cave and take me to Limerick NOW!<br> [[•I need to check that tunnel first.]] [[•Who the hell put you in charge?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: My daddy is the mayor of Flatiron, if you must know. And once he hears about how you disrespected me, he'll take away your guns and your magic stick!<br> [[•How is any of this my fault!? I just met you!]] [[•Holy guacamole, you are a grade-A bitch!]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Excuse me!? What is THAT supposed to mean!?<br> [[•Nothing! I was just talking to myself. Listen, I need to check that tunnel before we leave.]] [[•It means you're a stuck up bitch, sweet cheeks.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Well, isn't that sweet of you. Couldn't bear to let little old me rot in this dungeon? Fine. Let's get the hell out of here.<br> [[>>>|cassjoin]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You follow the twisting tunnels for several minutes before finally finding an exit. It is nearly midnight. Will you take Cassidy straight to Limerick, or will you search for the old man?<br> [[•Go to Limerick]] [[•Search for the old man]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You follow the twisting tunnels for several minutes before finally finding an exit. It is nearly midnight. Will you lead Cassidy and Pappy Sawbuck straight to Limerick, or will you return for the old man's horse and cart?<br> [[•Go to Limerick]] [[•Get the horse and cart]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Oh, right. The Paladins! How could I forget? Nobody gives a hoot about little miss Cassidy, it's always Paladins this and Paladins that! Paladins ain't so great anyway.<br> [[>>>|intunlel]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: "Come with me if you want!" Like I have a choice!<br> [[>>>|intunlel]]

<<set $gold += 13>>\ <div class="inv">\ +13 gold pieces </div> You enter the tunnel ahead. It reeks of death. You find what remains of the Paladins splattered all over the walls and floor. There isn't much left, but you do find 13 gold pieces. An unlucky number, but you might as well get some use out of them.<br> [[>>>|totheexit]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Well, isn't that sweet of you. Couldn't bear to let little old me rot in this dungeon? Fine. Let's get the hell out of here.<br> [[>>>|cassjoin]]

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<<display "HUD">> At least... you thought it was sunset. Turns out the sun is blazing down from directly overhead.<br> [[>>>|bliashdown]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You spend the rest of the night travelling. It's terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Er... moon. You don't arrive in Limerick until High Noon the next day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlim]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man protests, but you pay him no mind. Getting them to safety is your primary concern.<br> [[>>>|withouthecarty]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy nags at you the whole time. You return to the spot where you left the Old Timer, but he's nowhere to be found. You're exhausted and Cassidy is complaining that her feet hurt. What will you do now?<br> [[•Camp here for the night]] [[•Go to Limerick|lililimm]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy nags at you the whole time. You return to the spot where you left the horse and cart. Luckily, they're right where you left them. Unfortunately, it's extremely late now. You're exhausted and Cassidy is complaining that her feet hurt. What will you do?<br> [[•Camp here for the night|camp4]] [[•Go to Limerick|lililimms]]

<<display "HUD">> You notice several iron chains dangling over the gap. Buckets filled with discarded pickaxes and ore hang from the ends of the chains and bang against the sides of the mine shaft. It's almost as if the abyss below is breathing.<br> [[>>>|skdgh]]

<<display "HUD">> Peering down into the darkness, your eyes catch a glint of light. As you let your eyes adjust, you realize there is a great hoard of gold piled at the bottom of the mine shaft! You could probably use the chains to swing across the gap, or if you’re feeling adventurous you could try to climb down and get some of the gold. It’s up to you:<br> [[•Swing across]] [[•Climb down and collect some gold]] [[•Go back to the other passageway]]

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You grasp the iron chain and swing across the abyss, skidding to a halt on the far side. You brush yourself off and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You grasp the iron chain with one hand and scoop up Pappy Sawbuck with the other. The old man protests, but it’s too late- the two of you swing across the abyss.<br> [[>>>|scrmen]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You grasp the iron chain and descend deeper into the mine. You drop the last few feet and land on solid ground. Firelight seems to be coming from a tunnel ahead, but your eyes are transfixed on the mountain of gold before you.<br> [[•Grab as many gold nuggets as you can]] [[•Investigate the firelight|fireahead]]

<<display "HUD">> You head back to the other passageway.<br> [[>>>|•Jump in the mine cart]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck shrieks like the dickens, even after you’ve safely landed on the far side.<br> [[•Slap him in the face|Slap him in the face]] [[•Shake him by the shoulders|Shake him by the shoulders]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Shitfire! That hurt, dagnabbit! Uh... I apologize for all that screaming. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that I shriek like a schoolgirl when we get to town...<br> [[Your secret is safe with me.]] [[Ha! Just wait till we get to the saloon- I’m telling EVERYONE!]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I- I'm alive! Yer bugger and howdy doody! Uh... I apologize for all that screaming. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that I shriek like a schoolgirl when we get to town...<br> [[Your secret is safe with me.]] [[Ha! Just wait till we get to the saloon- I’m telling EVERYONE!]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck’s screaming has drawn the attention of more rotspawn! They skitter out of the tunnel ahead.<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your katana|tankanax]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|shottysssx]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic|usensgmafx]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|usetheinpistonx]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<set $gold += 30>>\ <div class="inv">\ +30 gold pieces </div> You stuff your pockets with as much gold as you can carry. This will come in handy later! +30 gold pieces.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <<else>>\ <<set $gold += 30>>\ <div class="inv">\ +30 gold pieces </div> You and Pappy Sawbuck stuff your pockets with as much gold as you can carry. The old timer lets out a few excited “whoops” and “yee-haws” as he dives into the pile of treasure. Just wait till the folks back home hear about this! +30 gold pieces.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Bandit: You been stealing from the Sixgun Kids, cowboy?<br> [[>>>|slkxjv]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck glances at you uncomfortably, but you keep your head down and pass by. The bandit leader tips his hat to you before proceeding to beat the shit out of the cowboy. You hear his cries of pain long after you've passed by.<br> [[>>>|tolimee]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: N-no, sir! I ain’t been stealin’ from nobody- honest! I’m a trader transporting my goods to-<br> [[>>>|tlrakfer]]

<<display "HUD">> Bandit: Yer a fuckin’ thief! These crates belong to us now!<br> [[>>>|fukerjedr]]

<<display "HUD">> You round the corner just in time to see a black-clad bandit punch a helpless cowboy in the belly. The cowboy doubles over. A few other bandits start kicking him while he’s down.<br> [[•Tell the bandits to knock it off|charmer2]] [[•Mind your own business and keep your head down]]

<<display "HUD">> By the time you arrive in Limerick, the sun has already set.<br> [[>>>|sunset]]

<<display "HUD">> Pistol Pete: And just who the hell are you supposed to be?<br> [[•I’m a Paladin, and I command you to cease your shenanigans and leave this man alone.|charmer3]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•I’m your worst nightmare, motherfucker.|charmer4]] (CHARM +$charm)

<<display "HUD">> The bandits guffaw and slap their knees with glee.<br> [[>>>|slappyhapp]]

<<display "HUD">> Pistol Pete: Looks like we’re in for a hog killin' time! Kill the Paladin and his companion, then hang the fuckin' thief. NOW DRAW!<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Slice and dice 'em with your katana]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Blast the bad guys with your shotgun]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Obliterate them with magic]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Quickdraw your pistols and shoot]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You unload on the bandits. They dance like marionettes as bullets fly between their feet.<br> [[>>>|sldkfhhgg]]

<<display "HUD">> Bandit: This Paladin ain’t messin’ around! Let’s make like the dickens and skedaddle!<br> [[>>>|llouudd]]

<<if visited("FAIL1ggs")>>\ <<display "HUD">> The remaining bandits flee into the canyon. The cowboy you saved dusts off his pants and picks up his crushed hat.<br> [[>>>|louunnn]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The bandits flee into the canyon. The cowboy you saved dusts off his pants and picks up his crushed hat.<br> [[>>>|louunnn]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("FAIL1ggs")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Those dad-blasted hooligans... if you hadn’t shown up, I’d have been a goner for sure. Put ‘er there, stranger.<br> [[•Shake his hand]] [[•Glare at him]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Hop-skippity! That was some damn fine rootin’ tootin’ howdy-dooty shootin’ there, Paladin! I ain’t never seen nobody shoot that fast before!<br> [[>>>|peoifjjf]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Those dad-blasted hooligans... if you hadn’t shown up, I’d have been a goner for sure. Put ‘er there, stranger.<br> [[•Shake his hand]] [[•Glare at him]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: My name’s Slingshot. I was, uh... transporting... these crates into Limerick when I was ambushed by those assholes.<br> [[•Transporting? Or smuggling?]] [[•What’s in the crates?]] [[•Who were those thugs?]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Well, now, we don’t use terms like that around here. I can assure you these goods are all perfectly legal. Uh... to someone.<br> [[•Don’t bullshit me, kid. I’m a Paladin. Smuggling is illegal, and it’s my duty to arrest you.]] [[•Listen, I don’t really have time for this. I’ll let you go this time, just don’t let me catch you with stolen goods again.]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: These here crates contain some of the finest soap in all the Wild West! That's right, you rub yourself down with this soap and you'll smell purdier than a flower in a bubble bath.<br> [[•I'll take your word for it.]] [[•You're a smuggler, aren't you?|•Transporting? Or smuggling?]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: You've just had the pleasure of meeting the Sixgun Kids. They're the local gang. Usually they ain't so ballsy, but recently they been expanding their territory. They've been a real nuisance around Limerick lately.<br> [[•You a smuggler, Slingshot?|•Transporting? Or smuggling?]] [[•What’s in the crates?]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Surely you could make an exception just this once, can't you, Paladin?<br> [[•I am bound by my duty. There can be no exceptions. He's coming with us.]] [[•I suppose you're right... fine, you can go, kid.]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Well, now that’s two I owe ya! One for saving me from those bandits and one for lettin’ me off the hook. I always knew you Paladins were a stand-up bunch.<br> [[>>>|xlsjhh]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Hey! You're goin’ to Limerick, ain't ya? I'm heading that way, too. Why don’t we join up? Threes better than two, after all. Besides, we might run into more of those bandits...<br> [[•Take a hike, kid. I don’t travel with criminals.]] [[•Sure, why not? We could use the company, right Pappy?]] [[•Most folks pay Paladins for their protection services.]]

<<display "HUD">> The cowboy looks crestfallen as he grabs his cart of stolen goods and walks away. The old man chuckles and mutters about "gosh-darned youngins."<br> [[>>>|onlineth]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Yer-bugger!<br> [[>>>|gooogogoogbb]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Oh, I can pay ya if it's gold you’re looking for! That's no problem. Here’s 3 gold pieces, how's that?<br> [[•That'll do.]] [[•I was just yankin' yer chain, kid. Keep your gold.]]

<<display "HUD">> You fill those dirty sons-of-bitches with bullets quick as lightning. Nobody fucks with a Paladin and lives. You blow the smoke off your guns and re-holster them... IN STYLE!<br> [[>>>|louunnnmm]]

<<display "HUD">> The cowboy you saved dusts off his pants and picks up his crushed hat.<br> [[>>>|louunnn]]

<<set $gold += 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ +3 gold pieces </div> Slingshot hands you 3 gold pieces.<br> [[>>>|gooogogoogbb]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot grins and you set out.<br> [[>>>|gooogogoogbb]]

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> The bandits shoot fast- faster than you would have expected. Several bullets graze your arms and legs, but you give 'em hell. In no time the bandits are ducking for cover and looking for an escape.<br> [[>>>|sldkfhhgg]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Look, I know what you're thinking. But I can assure you these goods are all perfectly legal. Uh... to someone.<br> [[•Don’t bullshit me, kid. I’m a Paladin. Smuggling is illegal, and it’s my duty to arrest you.]] [[•Listen, I don’t really have time for this. I’ll let you go this time, just don’t let me catch you with stolen goods again.]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb2")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Ain’t Limerick the strangest place you ever did see? It’s always High Noon in Limerick.<br> [[>>>|alwayshighnonhhh]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Ain’t Limerick the strangest place you ever did see? It’s always High Noon in Limerick.<br> [[>>>|alwayshighnon]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> A tumbleweed blows across the road. You lead the horse and cart down a dusty street. Kids stop playing and fall silent as you pass. A barber trimming a man’s beard pauses mid-shave to watch your progress. You can feel dozens of eyes on you, studying your every move.<br> [[•The locals seem... friendly.]] [[•Where are we taking this cart, exactly?]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot: It ain’t often we see a Paladin in these parts. Folks with guns usually bring trouble with 'em, and folks with magic... well, let's just say the people here have nothin' but fear for witchcraft. And rightly so! Rumor has it this town’s cursed.<br> [[•Cursed?]] [[•Where are we taking this cart, Pappy Sawbuck?]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: We don't see many Paladins in these parts. Folks with guns usually bring trouble with 'em, and folks with magic... well, let's just say the people here have nothin' but fear for witchcraft. And rightly so! Rumor has it this town’s cursed.<br> [[•Where are we taking this cart, exactly?]] [[•Cursed?]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("•You didn’t pay me to talk, grandpa, you paid me to guard. Talking’s extra.")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: We're headin' up to Sawbuck Mine. Used to own it before I passed it onto my son. Now quit standing around, you inconsiderate little shit. I ain't payin' ya to talk to me, remember?<br> [[>>>|aslflsfkj]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck looks uncomfortable.<br> [[•Something bothering you?]] [[•Let’s get a move on. I don’t have all day.|pppppp]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Legends say Limerick was built on the back of a dead Shyfter the size of a mountain. Things get a bit... queer... when Shyfters are involved, if you catch my meaning. Shyfter magic messes with the brain, wouldn’t ya know it. Disease, mutation, rotspawn. That sort of thing.<br> [[•Well, fuck.]] [[•Let’s finish this job quick and get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: That’s right.<br> [[•Let’s finish this job quick and get the hell out of here. This place gives me the creeps.]] [[•Where are we taking this cart, exactly?]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Whadda ya say we stop by the ol' saloon for a krooner of beer to wet the whistle? I’m buying.<br> [[•I don’t have time for drinks. Let’s get this over with.|pppppp]] [[•Beer sounds great. Let's go to the saloon.]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Hot-diggity! I could go for a beer myself!<br> [[>>>|goforaber]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man looks relieved. You tie up the horse and enter the Salty Spitoon Saloon, a honky-tonk dive bar with bat-wing doors. A piano man bangs out happy music and a sexy showgirl dances on the stage.<br> [[>>>|intssallon]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck slaps a few gold pieces down on the bar and brings you and Slingshot mugs of foamy beer. You clink glasses together and drink deeply.<br> [[•Everything all right, Old Timer? You look nervous.]] [[•Thanks for the beer.|•I don't have time for your family problems. Let's chug more beer and finish the job.]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck slaps a few gold pieces down on the bar and brings you a mug of foamy beer. You clink glasses together and drink deeply.<br> [[•Everything all right, Old Timer? You look nervous.]] [[•Thanks for the beer.|•I don't have time for your family problems. Let's chug more beer and finish the job.]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: It's my son. The one I told you about. I know my stories were all feel-good hee-haw type stuff, but the truth is... I haven't seen him in three years.<br> [[•What's your son got to do with anything?]] [[•I don't have time for your family problems. Let's chug more beer and finish the job.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: These supplies we've been transporting... we're taking them to Sawbuck Mine. My granddaddy owned the mine before it passed to me, and then I... passed it onto my son.<br> [[>>>|tragic]]

<<set $hp += 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ +3 HP </div> You finish your beer. You’re just about to stand up and leave when the showgirl you saw earlier sits down at your table. She grabs Pappy Sawbuck's mug and drains the rest of his beer, then lets out a loud burp.<br> [[>>>|loudburp]]

<<if $hp gte $maxHP>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: You’re a Paladin, right?<br> [[•That’s right.]] [[•Um... I don’t believe we’ve been introduced?]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: You’re a Paladin, right?<br> [[•That’s right.]] [[•Um... I don’t believe we’ve been introduced?]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Listen, I don’t have much time to talk, but I need your help.<br> [[>>>|eyeshone]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: The locals here call me by my show name: Princess Lute.<br> [[>>>|eyeshone]]

<<display "HUD">> You notice the showgirl’s eyes flicking around the saloon as if she’s searching for someone... someone she hopes doesn't show up. As you're observing the girl, you notice her left eye is swollen. She's done a fine job covering up a nasty bruise with makeup.<br> [[•Is someone hurting you?]] [[•Sorry, I'm busy. You can't expect me to help every country bumpkin who wanders in my path.]]

<<display "HUD">> Just then the barkeep, Whiskey Jim, kicks open the kitchen door. He's holding a plate of steaming hot hamburgers for one of the other tables, but his eyes are locked on the showgirl.<br> [[>>>|ontheshowgirl]]

<<display "HUD">> Whiskey Jim: Princess Lute, you curly-cued bitch! What the fuck did I tell you about talkin' to the customers? Get yer scrawny ass back on that stage 'afore I knock yer teeth out!<br> [[>>>|liukeslkd]]

<<display "HUD">> A few of the locals snicker into their mugs. The girl's eyes are filled with terror. She looks at you pleadingly but at that moment a metal fork bounces off your table and she scurries away. You turn and see Whiskey Jim preparing to throw a spatula.<br> [[•Leave her alone, you yellow-bellied varmint!|charmwhishke]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•This ain't our concern. Time for us to go.|This ain't our concern, Pappy. Time for us to go.]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot and Pappy Sawbuck look at you with disgust.<br> [[>>>|lokdisgustf]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man looks at you with disgust.<br> [[>>>|lokdisgust]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I never thought I’d see the day. You ain’t no Paladin. You... you’re an Oathbreaker! Take your gold and get out of my sight! I’ll transport the mine cart myself, you cowardly skunk.<br> [[>>>|cowardleave]]

<<display "HUD">> You take your gold and leave. When you look back over your shoulder, you see the plate of hamburgers flying across the saloon. The Old Timer is giving the barman a beatdown he’ll never forget. Good for him. You probably could have learned a thing or two from that old man if you hadn't been such a shitty Paladin.<br> [[>>>|consumeredgred]]

<<display "HUD">> Consumed with your own selfish greed and lust for gold, you leave Limerick and wander off into the sunset in search of more trinkets. You clearly don't care about anyone but yourself, but maybe that’s for the best. You can travel the world alone forever. Just know you'll never find happiness in a pile of money. Good riddance.<br> THE END.

<<display "HUD">> The barman hurls his spatula at you, but it’s an awful throw. The spatula clangs off a chair.<br> [[•Beat the shit out of him|beatship]] (BRAWN +$brawn) [[•Try to calm him down|himcalm]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•Run away]]

<<display "HUD">> The old man looks at you with disgust.<br> [[>>>|lokdisgust]]

<<display "HUD">> You stride up to Whiskey Jim and grab him by the shirt collar. You can smell the sweat on his skin as you lock eyes with the scrawny bastard. You pull back your fist and deliver a powerful punch straight to his nose.<br> [[>>>|straightnose]]

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You try to talk reason to Whiskey Jim, but he won't have it. You place your hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner, but the wiry bastard smacks you over the head with a glass bottle. You slump to the floor in a daze.<br> [[>>>|straightnosev]]<br>

<<display "HUD">> The old man watches you back away with a look of disgust on his face.<br> [[>>>|lokdisgust]]

<<display "HUD">> The barman goes sprawling across the room, knocking over tables. A couple of beer mugs spill on him as he lies unconscious on the ground. Princess Lute rushes over and grabs your hand.<br> [[>>>|grabhand]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Bless you, Paladin! Let’s get out of here before he wakes up.<br> [[>>>|beforewakesup]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute leads you outside. She thanks you again and tells you to meet her at the Cotton Corral for a reward when you have time.<br> [[>>>|aslflsfkj]]

<<display "HUD">> You tie Slingshot to the wagon and lead your caravan of mining supplies and stolen goods through the canyon.<br> [[>>>|gooogogoogbb2]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Really? Well, now that’s two I owe ya! One for saving me from those bandits and one for lettin’ me off the hook. I always knew you Paladins were a stand-up bunch.<br> [[>>>|xlsjhh]]

<<display "HUD">> By the time you arrive in Limerick, the sun has already set.<br> [[>>>|sunset]]

<<if visited("•I am bound by my duty. There can be no exceptions. He's coming with us.")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You tell Pappy Sawbuck to wait outside the jail while you lead Slingshot inside.<br> [[>>>|slingshotinjail]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> A tumbleweed blows across the road. You lead the horse and cart down a dusty street. Kids stop playing and fall silent as you pass. A barber trimming a man’s beard pauses mid-shave to watch your progress. You can feel dozens of eyes on you, studying your every move.<br> [[•The locals seem... friendly.]] [[•Where are we taking this cart, exactly?]] <</if>>\

<<set $gold += 15>>\ <div class="inv">\ +15 gold pieces </div> The local sheriff thanks you for bringing in the dirty thief and pays you 15 gold pieces as a reward. Job well done! You head outside to rejoin Pappy Sawbuck.<br> [[>>>|jobwldone]]

<<display "HUD">> The old man looks relieved. You tie up the horses and enter the Salty Spitoon Saloon, a honky-tonk dive bar with bat-wing doors. A piano man bangs out happy music and a sexy showgirl dances on the stage.<br> [[>>>|intssallon]]

<<display "HUD">> You take your gold and leave. When you look back over your shoulder, you see the plate of hamburgers flying across the saloon. The Old Timer and Slingshot are giving the barman a beatdown he’ll never forget. Good for them. You probably could have learned a thing or two from those guys if you hadn't been such a shitty Paladin.<br> [[>>>|consumeredgred]]

<<if $pizza gte 1>>\ <<display "HUD">> You set up camp. It's not the most pleasant sleep, and Cassidy whines about sleeping on the rocks, but you are able to get some rest.<br> [[•Eat pizza|eatpizzas]] (Restore HP) [[•Go to sleep|campedsleepf]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 HP </div> You set up camp. It's not the most pleasant sleep, and Cassidy whines about sleeping on the rocks, but you are able to get some rest.<br> [[>>>|campedsleepf]] <</if>>\

<<set $hp -= 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 HP </div> <<if $hp lte 0>>\ You spend the rest of the night travelling. It's terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Er... moon.<br> [[>>>|yerdead]] <<else>>\ You spend the rest of the night travelling. It's terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Er... moon. You don't arrive in Limerick until High Noon the next day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlim]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Well, we finally made it. Thanks for nothing, Paladin. I don't give a hoot what you decide to do, but I'm heading to the inn to find a place to sleep. We can talk in the morning if you want. I'm pooped!<br> [[•Head to the inn and get some rest|999]] [[•Ask around about the Old Timer]]

<<if $pizza gte 1>>\ <<display "HUD">> You set up camp. It's not the most pleasant sleep, and Cassidy whines about sleeping on the rocks, but you are able to get some rest.<br> [[•Eat pizza|eatpizza]] (Restore HP) [[•Go to sleep|campedsleep]] <<else>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 HP </div> You set up camp. It's not the most pleasant sleep, and Cassidy whines about sleeping on the rocks, but you are able to get some rest.<br> [[>>>|campedsleep]] <</if>>\

<<set $hp -= 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 HP </div> <<if $hp lte 0>>\ You spend the rest of the night travelling. It's terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Er... moon.<br> [[>>>|yerdead]] <<else>>\ You spend the rest of the night travelling. It's terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Er... moon. Pappy Sawbuck jams bullets in his ears to shut out her yapping. You don't arrive in Limerick until High Noon the next day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlimh]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Well, we finally made it. Thanks for nothing, Paladin. I don't give a hoot what the two of you decide to do, but I'm heading to the inn to find a place to sleep. We can talk in the morning if you want. I'm pooped!<br> [[•Head to the inn and get some rest]] [[•Finish your job and deliver Pappy Sawbuck's supplies]]

<<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ HP restored! </div> You decide it would be a good idea to get some rest before continuing your journey. Pappy Sawbuck agrees, and graciously pays for your room. You crash for the next several hours.<br> [[>>>|wakeupfromrest]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy departs for the inn. A tumbleweed blows across the road. You lead the horse and cart down a dusty street. Kids stop playing and fall silent as you pass. A barber trimming a man’s beard pauses mid-shave to watch your progress. You can feel dozens of eyes on you, studying your every move.<br> [[•The locals seem... friendly.]] [[•Where are we taking this cart, exactly?]]

<<if $hp gte $maxHP>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <<display "HUD">> You head to Limerick the next morning. The journey is terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Pappy Sawbuck jams bullets in his ears to shut out her yapping. You don't arrive in Limerick until mid-day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlimh]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You head to Limerick the next morning. The journey is terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Pappy Sawbuck jams bullets in his ears to shut out her yapping. You don't arrive in Limerick until mid-day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlimh]] <</if>>\

<<if $hp gte $maxHP>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <<display "HUD">> You head to Limerick the next morning. The journey is terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. You stuff bullets in your ears to shut out her yapping. You don't arrive in Limerick until mid-day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlimhv]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You head to Limerick the next morning. The journey is terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. You stuff bullets in your ears to shut out her yapping. You don't arrive in Limerick until mid-day, and Cassidy is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlimhv]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> There's a big commotion down the street. You see two cowboys covered from head to toe in dust, panting on the ground and begging a crowd of people for help.<br> [[>>>|beggingfurod]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Ya see... well, it's hard to talk about. A few years back we found a rich vein of gold in that mine. My two boys, Cleet and Junior, they were as happy as I was striking it rich, but they warned me about the tunnel we'd been digging. Said it was unstable.<br> [[>>>|unstable]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: They wanted to wait a bit, shore up the tunnels and make sure we had proper support beams in place, but I... I let the greed get the best of me. I ordered them to keep digging. And then... the mine collapsed.<br> [[•Oh shit...|ohshit]] [[•Was anyone hurt?|ohshit]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Cleet and Junior were both inside during the collapse. Cleet managed to escape, but Junior... my boy...<br> [[>>>|sniffles]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man scrunches up his face and takes a deep swig of beer. He can't meet your eyes. Slingshot hesitantly reaches out a hand to pat the old man on the shoulder but draws it back, unsure of whether or not he should provide comfort.<br> [[•It was an accident. It wasn't your fault.]] [[•I'm so sorry, Old Timer.]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man scrunches up his face and takes a deep swig of beer. He can't meet your eyes.<br> [[•It was an accident. It wasn't your fault.]] [[•I'm so sorry, Old Timer.]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Yes it was, dad-flabbit! I put my love of gold above the safety of my sons, and now my boy's dead because of it. Don't you understand? I was so ashamed... I fled. Gave the paperwork to Cleet and left town. I didn't even stay for my son's funeral...<br> [[>>>|crying]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: It's all my fault. I put my love of gold above the safety of my sons, and now my boy's dead because of it. Don't you understand? I was so ashamed... I fled. Gave the paperwork to Cleet and left town. I didn't even stay for my son's funeral...<br> [[>>>|crying]]

<<display "HUD">> The Old Man begins to sob into his glass.<br> [[>>>|sobbing]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I haven't seen Cleet in three years. I know he blames me for his brother's death, and I... I just don't know how I can ever look him in the eyes again.<br> [[•I'm sure your son wants to see you again. It's a hard life for a boy to live without a father.]] [[•Shit... listen, Pappy, why don't you stay here and I'll finish this job on my own?]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: You're probably right, Paladin. I suppose we should grab the supplies and get a move on then, huh?<br> [[>>>|getgoin]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: That's mighty kind of you, Paladin. I... No, I can't do that. I've gotta face my son sooner or later. I can't hide forever. Might as well go see him now.<br> [[>>>|getgoin]]

<<set $hp += 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ +3 HP </div> You finish the rest of your beer in silence. You’re just about to stand up and leave when the showgirl you saw earlier sits down at your table. She grabs Pappy Sawbuck's mug and drains the rest of his beer, then lets out a loud burp.<br> [[>>>|loudburp]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot: I know those men- they're miners!<br> [[>>>|theymroine]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cowboy: ...half a dozen sticks of dynamite! The whole fuckin' thing collapsed, but we still got men in them tunnels! You gotta help us or they'll die!<br> [[•Tell me exactly what happened.]] [[•Where are these tunnels?]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("tragic")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cowboy: We was workin' in the mines when I heard one of the boys hollerin' from up ahead. The Sixgun Kids showed up with sticks of dynamite and started blastin' away! The tunnels collapsed- our boys are still in there!<br> [[•What the hell were the Sixgun Kids doing there?]] [[•Pappy! Isn't your son at the mine??]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cowboy: We was workin' in the mines when I heard one of the boys hollerin' from up ahead. The Sixgun Kids showed up with sticks of dynamite and started blastin' away! The tunnels collapsed- our boys are still in there!<br> [[•What the hell were the Sixgun Kids doing there?]] [[•Show me the way! We need to save them.|haulass]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cowboy: We came from the Sawbuck Mine!<br> [[>>>|•Tell me exactly what happened.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cowboy: Hell if I know! They just showed up out of nowhere and started blastin' the mine to bits!<br> [[>>>|mydogud]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: You're right... I don't know if my son will ever forgive me for what I done, but I can't just sit here and let him die because I'm too afraid to face him again. Let's haul ass to the mine!<br> [[>>>|haulass]]

<<if visited("tragic")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Cleet... I can't... I can't do it, Paladin. Not again...<br> [[•Snap out of it, Pappy! Your son needs you!|yerright]] [[•Come on, Old Timer. You can't let your past mistakes keep you from acting now. We have to save your son!|yerright]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Paladin! We gotta save them! I know most of those boys! They need our help!<br> [[•Let's get to the mine as quick as we can!|haulass]] [[•Sorry, Old Timer, but I've got other jobs to attend to.]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot: I, uh... have some business to attend to. I hope you can save everyone at the mine, Paladin. Come by the old church later if you want to talk.<br> [[>>>|haulasss2]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You follow the cowboys to the mine.<br> [[>>>|tothemienne]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: What- you- go fuck yourself! You ain't no Paladin, you're an Oathbreaker! You boys, lead the way! We'll save those miners ourselves!<br> [[>>>|gofuckyah]]

<<display "HUD">> Cowboy: ...half a dozen sticks of dynamite! The whole fuckin' thing collapsed, but we still got men in them tunnels! You gotta help us or they'll die!<br> [[•Tell me exactly what happened.]] [[•Where are these tunnels?]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot leaves. You follow the cowboys to the mine.<br> [[>>>|tothemienne]]

<<display "HUD">> You arrive at the dig site and find a mess of confusion. Miners are scrambling to clear away a pile of rubble blocking one of the tunnels. Just then you spot a group of bandits setting dynamite on the ridge- they're going to blast apart the rocks and crush the would-be rescuers!<br> [[>>>|tomakemattersworseff]]

<<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <<set $gold -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ HP restored! </div> You decide it would be a good idea to get some rest before continuing your journey. The room costs 2 gold pieces. You crash for the next several hours.<br> [[>>>|wakeupfromresth]]

<<display "HUD">> You set out to find out what happened to the old man, but you don't have to look far. A wooden cart rattles down the road, led by a black-clad priest. Pappy Sawbuck's shredded corpse is in the back. Looks like the rotspawn got him. Poor bastard... may he rest in peace.<br> [[>>>|crazycity]]

<<display "HUD">> There's a sudden commotion down the street. You see two cowboys covered from head to toe in dust, panting on the ground and begging a crowd of people for help.<br> [[>>>|beggingfurod]]

<<display "HUD">> Miner: Hey! You folks better dig faster, we got company! Rotspawn! Lots of rotspawn! They're coming right for us and we're unarmed! HELP!!<br> [[•Ignore the bandits and rescue the miners]] [[•Leave the miners to fend for themselves while you deal with the bandits]]

<<display "HUD">> You spring into action, leaping over rocks and launching yourself up onto the ridge. Several of the bandits surround you with drawn guns.<br> [[>>>|cletcomp]]

<<display "HUD">> The old man's mouth opens and closes a few times, but no words come out.<br> [[•Snap out of it, Pappy! Your son needs you!|yerright]] [[•Come on, Old Timer. You can't let your past mistakes keep you from acting now. We have to save your son!|yerright]]

<<display "HUD">> A few of the gathered cowboys grab guns and take cover behind rocks. While they shoot at the bandits, you head over to the collapsed mine entrance.<br> [[•Start digging]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic to clear away the rubble|colpaoshemine]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\

<<if visited("tragic")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Bandit: Cleet! You best hurry up with that TNT! We got company- it's a Paladin!<br> [[•Cleet? Ain't you Pappy Sawbuck's boy? What the hell are you doing with the Sixgun Kids?]] [[•Your daddy's going to be pissed, kid. Don't worry, I'll kill you quickly and tell the Old Timer you were killed in the first explosion.]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Bandit: Cleet! You best hurry up with that TNT! We got company- it's a Paladin!<br> [[•Kill the guy setting dynamite|•Shoot the guy setting dynamite]] [[•Fight the bandits|•Blast your way out of the ring of bandits]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: This ain't none of your concern, Paladin! My daddy left this mine to me and now I decide who we work with. You get yer ass out of here right now or I'll have my men shoot ya dead.<br> [[•Kill everyone]] [[•Disarm the bandits and spare Cleet]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Don't just stand there, you gaw-damn idiots! Kill the Paladin!<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your katana|kanatax]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|shortgun]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic|uspell]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|usistolpis]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> What will you do?<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your katana|kanataxtt4]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|shortguntt4]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic|uspelltt4]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|usistolpistt4]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You raise your magic staff high above your head. The bandits' eyes are drawn to it like flies to a light. Suddenly there is a blinding flash and the bandits shriek, dropping their weapons and scattering to the four winds. Cleet draws a gun, but you whip out one of your Shyfter Steel Pistols and blast it out of his hand.<br> [[>>>|blastinsou]]

<<display "HUD">> The young Sawbuck kid falls on his ass and looks up at you with wide, terror-filled eyes. You keep the gun pointed at his chest.<br> [[•Say goodnight, Cleet.]] [[•Your daddy thinks you're trapped in that mine, Cleet. He's down there trying to save your ass right now. If you destroy this wall, you'll kill him and everyone else down there.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Wait! Please, don't shoot me! It- it's not my fault! I didn't have a choice! Buckaroo Bill made me do it!<br> [[•Do what?]] [[•Who the hell is Buckaroo Bill?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: It- it's not my fault, I swear. Please, Paladin. I... I didn't have a choice! Buckaroo Bill made me do it!<br> [[•Do what?]] [[•Who the hell is Buckaroo Bill?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Listen, the mine's been struggling. We're running out of money fast, but Buckaroo Bill... that's the cattle baron who lives just west of town... he agreed to fund our dig.<br> [[>>>|notlookingff]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: But he wasn't looking for gold. No, he's looking for something else. Ancient tunnels beneath the mines. I don't know what he's after, but he paid us well and supplied us with dynamite. And we're close! Just one more blast and we're sure to find it!<br> [[•If you blow up this cliff face, those men down there will die.]] [[•Let's save the men in the mine, then we can talk about blasting this wall. But whatever happens, you're going to jail for this. You got a lot of people killed today, Cleet.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: If I don't do what Buckaroo Bill says, I'M GOING TO DIE! Something ain't right with that man, Paladin. He's... it's like he's possessed. I gotta finish this job.<br> [[•I'll deal with Buckaroo Bill. You're under arrest, Cleet.]] [[•Let's save the men in the mine, then we can talk about blasting this wall. But whatever happens, you're going to jail for this. You got a lot of people killed today, Cleet.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet nods and the two of you head down into the canyon, where the rescue effort seems to have stopped. You can tell by the looks on the gathered faces that things didn't go well.<br> [[>>>|didntgowell]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet hangs his head in defeat. You lead him down into the canyon, where the rescue effort seems to have stopped. You can tell by the looks on the gathered faces that things didn't go well.<br> [[>>>|didntgowell]]

<<display "HUD">> Miner: We lost 'em, Paladin. The men in that mine... we couldn't get to 'em in time. The rotspawn got 'em... no use clearing out that rubble now. We'd just release those demons from their prison and get more people killed...<br> [[•Fuck. I'm sorry, I wasn't fast enough...]] [[•Have you seen Pappy Sawbuck?]]

<<display "HUD">> You notice Pappy Sawbuck crying on a rock nearby. He must think his son was killed in the mine with everyone else...<br> [[>>>|breakhisarh]]

<<display "HUD">> The miner points to the far side of the canyon. You see the old man crying on a rock. He must think his son was killed in the mine with everyone else...<br> [[>>>|breakhisarh]]

<<if visited("totheminers")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You approach Pappy Sawbuck.<br> [[>>>|whatspapsay]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cleet: Paladin... please, don't make me face my daddy. Let him think I'm dead. It's better that way. I can't bear the shame of facing him. He'll be so disappointed in what I done. Those men... they died because of me...<br> [[•We all make mistakes, Cleet. Your father will forgive you. But he needs to know the truth.]] [[•All right, Cleet. Come with me. I'll take you straight to jail, and I won't tell your father I met you.]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Maybe you're right... shit, I ain't seen my daddy in over three years.<br> [[•You two have a lot of catching up to do.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Thank you, Paladin... thank you.<br> [[>>>|donttell]]

<<set $gold += 25>>\ <div class="inv">\ +25 GOLD </div> You lead Cleet to the jail. One of the deputies thanks you and hands you 25 gold pieces for bringing him in. You can decide what to tell the old man later.<br> [[>>>|stepotuside]]

<<display "HUD">> You and Cleet approach the distraught old man. He looks up at you through bleary red eyes and wipes a glob of snot from his nose. Suddenly his eyes focus on his son and he catches his breath. The pain on his face suddenly evaporates, replaced by relief and joy.<br> [[>>>|isthatouy]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Cleet! My boy! My son! Paladin, you saved my son! Bless you, Paladin, bless your soul!!<br> [[>>>|guhsuhs]]

<<display "HUD">> The Old Timer wraps his son in a big hug. Neither man can look the other in the eye. They've both made terrible mistakes, but perhaps, with time, they'll be able to forgive each other. If nothing else, you've brought them hope for a brighter future.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> You return to Limerick. Things are fucking weird.<br> [[>>>|weridsttff]]

<<display "HUD">> You hear a muffled shout from inside the collapsed tunnel.<br> [[>>>|tomakemattersworse]]

<<set $brawn = 0>>\ <<set $hp = 10>>\ <<set $maxHP = 10>>\ <<set $skill = 0>>\ <<set $grit = 0>>\ <<set $wits = 0>>\ <<set $charm = 0>>\ <<set $magic = 0>>\ <<set $stats = 5>>\ <<set $pizza = 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> [[Name]] <b>Gender:</b><br> <b>HP:</b> $hp <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br>

<div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Enter your name:<br> <<textbox "$name" "" "Goname">>

<div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name [[Gender]]<br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br>

<div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> [[Dude]] [[Chick]]

<<set $sex = "Dude">>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats

<<set $sex = "Chick">>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats

<<set $brawn += 1>>\ <<set $stats -= 1>>\ <<if $stats == 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br> Remaining stat points: $stats<br> [[Confirm stats]] [[Reset stats]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats <</if>>\

<<set $skill += 1>>\ <<set $stats -= 1>>\ <<if $stats == 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br> Remaining stat points: $stats<br> [[Confirm stats]] [[Reset stats]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats <</if>>\

<<set $grit += 1>>\ <<set $hp += 2>>\ <<set $maxHP += 2>>\ <<set $stats -= 1>>\ <<if $stats == 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br> Remaining stat points: $stats<br> [[Confirm stats]] [[Reset stats]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats <</if>>\

<<set $wits += 1>>\ <<set $stats -= 1>>\ <<if $stats == 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br> Remaining stat points: $stats<br> [[Confirm stats]] [[Reset stats]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats <</if>>\

<<set $charm += 1>>\ <<set $stats -= 1>>\ <<if $stats == 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br> Remaining stat points: $stats<br> [[Confirm stats]] [[Reset stats]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats <</if>>\

<<set $magic += 1>>\ <<set $stats -= 1>>\ <<if $stats == 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn <b>SKILL:</b> $skill <b>GRIT:</b> $grit <b>WITS:</b> $wits <b>CHARM:</b> $charm <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic <br> Remaining stat points: $stats<br> [[Confirm stats]] [[Reset stats]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats <</if>>\

<div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 2 weapons:<br> [[Magic Staff]]: +1 MAGIC [[Shyfter Steel Pistols]]: +1 SKILL [[Shotgun]]: +1 GRIT [[Katana|Knife]]: +1 BRAWN

<<set $brawn = 0>>\ <<set $hp = 10>>\ <<set $maxHP = 10>>\ <<set $skill = 0>>\ <<set $grit = 0>>\ <<set $wits = 0>>\ <<set $charm = 0>>\ <<set $magic = 0>>\ <<set $stats = 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> <b>Name:</b> $name <b>Gender:</b> $sex <br> <b>HP:</b> $hp/$maxHP <b>BRAWN:</b> $brawn [[+|brawn]] <b>SKILL:</b> $skill [[+|skill]] <b>GRIT:</b> $grit [[+|grit]] <b>WITS:</b> $wits [[+|wits]] <b>CHARM:</b> $charm [[+|charm]] <b>MAGIC:</b> $magic [[+|magic]]<br> Remaining stat points: $stats

<<set $pizza += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Fancy Hat|hat2]]: +1 CHARM [[Brass Knuckles|knucks2]]: +1 BRAWN [[Bottle of Whiskey|whisk2]]: +1 GRIT [[Peace Pipe|pipe2]]: +1 WITS [[Bone Necklace|neck2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)|ring2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Pizza added to inventory. Ohh, it has bacon on it!

<<set $magic += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Magic Staff")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 weapon:<br> [[Shyfter Steel Pistols|pistols2]]: +1 SKILL [[Shotgun|shotgun2]]: +1 GRIT [[Katana|knife2]]: +1 BRAWN<br> Magic Staff added to inventory. +1 MAGIC.

<<set $skill += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Shyfter Steel Pistols")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 weapon:<br> [[Magic Staff|magic2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Shotgun|shotgun2]]: +1 GRIT [[Katana|knife2]]: +1 BRAWN<br> Shyfter Steel Pistols added to inventory. +1 SKILL.

<<set $grit += 1>>\ <<set $hp += 2>>\ <<set $maxHP += 2>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Shotgun")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 weapon:<br> [[Shyfter Steel Pistols|pistols2]]: +1 SKILL [[Magic Staff|magic2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Katana|knife2]]: +1 BRAWN<br> Shotgun added to inventory. +1 GRIT.

<<set $charm += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Fancy Hat")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Pizza|pizza2]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Brass Knuckles|knucks2]]: +1 BRAWN [[Bottle of Whiskey|whisk2]]: +1 GRIT [[Peace Pipe|pipe2]]: +1 WITS [[Bone Necklace|neck2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)|ring2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Fancy Hat added to inventory. +1 CHARM.

<<set $brawn += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Brass Knuckles")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Pizza|pizza2]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Bone Necklace|neck2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Bottle of Whiskey|whisk2]]: +1 GRIT [[Peace Pipe|pipe2]]: +1 WITS [[Fancy Hat|hat2]]: +1 CHARM [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)|ring2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Brass Knuckles added to inventory. +1 BRAWN.

<<set $grit += 1>>\ <<set $hp += 2>>\ <<set $maxHP += 2>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Bottle of Whiskey")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Pizza|pizza2]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Bone Necklace|neck2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Brass Knuckles|knucks2]]: +1 BRAWN [[Peace Pipe|pipe2]]: +1 WITS [[Fancy Hat|hat2]]: +1 CHARM [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)|ring2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Bottle of Whiskey added to inventory. +1 GRIT.

<<set $wits += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Peace Pipe")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Pizza|pizza2]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Fancy Hat|hat2]]: +1 CHARM [[Brass Knuckles|knucks2]]: +1 BRAWN [[Bottle of Whiskey|whisk2]]: +1 GRIT [[Bone Necklace|neck2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)|ring2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Peace Pipe added to inventory. +1 WITS.

<div class="inv">\ How to Play </div> [[Modifiers|Skill checks]] [[Challenges & Combat|Stat information]]<br> [[Back|start2]]

<div class="inv">\ Modifiers </div> When you create a character, you must choose which areas you want to be most skilled in. Click the items below to find out how each one will help you during the adventure:<br> [[Brawn|brawndes]] [[Skill|skilldes]] [[Wits|witdes]] [[Charm|charmdes]] [[Grit|gritdes]] [[Magic|magicdes]]<br> [[Back|How to Play]]

<div class="inv">\ Challenges & Combat </div> 7 is your lucky number! Challenges in this game are decided by rolling 2 six-sided dice and adding the appropriate skill modifier. For every challenge, you'll need to roll higher than a 7.<br> [[>>>|how2]]

<div style="text-align: center;">\ <b>Crypt Shyfter: Limerick</b><br> by kung fu space barbarian cover art by omenakettu<br> [[Start|CharCreate]] [[How to Play]] [[Credits]] </div>\

<div class="inv">\ Brawn </div> Your physical strength. Higher BRAWN increases your chances of succeeding at moving heavy objects, smashing down doors, or winning bar brawls.<br> [[Back|Skill checks]]

<div class="inv">\ Skill </div> Applies to most of your basic tasks. Higher SKILL increases your chances of shooting first, clearing large gaps, or dodging out of the way of falling rocks.<br> [[Back|Skill Checks]]

<div class="inv">\ Wits </div> How smart you are. Higher WITS give you an edge when attempting to solve puzzles or outsmart your enemies.<br> [[Back|Skill Checks]]

<div class="inv">\ Charm </div> How charming and likeable you are. High CHARM increases your chances of succeeding at attempts to flatter, charm, or intimidate.<br> [[Back|Skill Checks]]

<div class="inv">\ Grit </div> How tough you are. High grit allows you to withstand severe weather, drink more without falling on your ass, and take a punch. Each GRIT point you add gives you +2 HP.<br> [[Back|Skill Checks]]

<div class="inv">\ Magic </div> How magically gifted you are. Higher MAGIC increases your chances of succeeding when casting spells and performing magic-based attacks.<br> [[Back|Skill Checks]]

<<set $brawn += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Katana")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 weapon:<br> [[Magic Staff|magic2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Shotgun|shotgun2]]: +1 GRIT [[Shyfter Steel Pistols|pistols2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Katana added to inventory. +1 Brawn.

<<set $skill += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Shyfter Steel Pistols")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Shyfter Steel Pistols added to inventory. +1 SKILL.<br> [[>>>|itemselect]]

<<set $grit += 1>>\ <<set $hp += 2>>\ <<set $maxHP += 2>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Shotgun")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Shotgun added to inventory. +1 GRIT.<br> [[>>>|itemselect]]

<<set $magic += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Magic Staff")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Magic Staff added to inventory. +1 MAGIC.<br> [[>>>|itemselect]]

<div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 2 special items:<br> [[Pizza]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Fancy Hat]]: +1 CHARM [[Brass Knuckles]]: +1 BRAWN [[Bottle of Whiskey]]: +1 GRIT [[Peace Pipe]]: +1 WITS [[Bone Necklace]]: +1 MAGIC [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)]]: +1 SKILL

<<set $magic += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Bone Necklace")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Pizza|pizza2]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Brass Knuckles|knucks2]]: +1 BRAWN [[Bottle of Whiskey|whisk2]]: +1 GRIT [[Peace Pipe|pipe2]]: +1 WITS [[Fancy Hat|hat2]]: +1 CHARM [[Paladin's Crest (Ring)|ring2]]: +1 SKILL<br> Bone Necklace added to inventory. +1 MAGIC.

<<set $skill += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Paladin's Crest (Ring)")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Choose 1 special item:<br> [[Pizza|pizza2]]: Eat pizza to regain HP [[Bone Necklace|neck2]]: +1 MAGIC [[Bottle of Whiskey|whisk2]]: +1 GRIT [[Brass Knuckles|knucks2]]: +1 BRAWN [[Peace Pipe|pipe2]]: +1 WITS [[Fancy Hat|hat2]]: +1 CHARM<br> Paladin's Crest (Ring) added to inventory. +1 SKILL.

<<set $pizza += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Pizza added to inventory. Ohh, it has bacon on it!<br> [[>>>|allsetnow]]

<div class="inv">\ Character Creation </div> Name: $name Gender: $sex HP: $hp/$maxHP<br> Stats: BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> Inventory: <<print $inventory.join("\n")>> Gold: $gold Pizza: $pizza<br> [[Start your adventure!|NewGame]]

<div class="inv">\ Challenges & Combat </div> Example: You're in a bar. What would you like to do?<br> [[Drink whiskey|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (GRIT +1) [[Play cards|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (WITS +1) [[Start a fight|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (BRAWN +1) [[Shoot someone|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (SKILL +1) [[Cast a spell|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (MAGIC +1) [[Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (CHARM +1) [[Back|How to Play]]

<<display "HUD">> Cowboys are running wild through the streets, hollering, brawling, and smashing through windows. Bandits and gunfighters are shooting each other’s hats off to prove who’s the most badass.<br> [[>>>|cluelesssss]]

<<display "HUD">> A deputy is chasing after the town sheriff, who is being dragged down Main Street by his runaway horse. And all the while, the piano man in the Salty Spittoon Saloon is hammering out a jaunty tune.<br> [[>>>|fighuteitwout]]

<<display "HUD">> Yep... just another day in the life of a Paladin. Go forth and bring peace to this wild frontier town!<br> [[•Visit the Cotton Corral]] [[•Stop by the old church]] [[•Head to the saloon]] [[•Go to Buckaroo Bill’s ranch]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|etpiz2]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\

<<if visited("atthecotton")>>\ <<display "HUD">> There's nothing else to do here.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You make your way to the Cotton Corral.<br> [[>>>|atthecotton]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("church")>>\ <<display "HUD">> The church is filled with praying people. Best leave them alone for now.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You make your way to the old church.<br> [[>>>|church]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("insidesaloon")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Better find somewhere else to go for now.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You enter the saloon.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You head west out of Limerick. It isn’t long before you spot Buckaroo Bill’s ranch sitting alone on the wide open prairie. Cows wander around, chewing grass and mooing at each other.<br> [[>>>|wideopneshp]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> A bell tolls high above. You’re about to open the door when a cowboy kicks it open and storms out in a rage. It’s Slingshot.<br> [[>>>|itslsingshot]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> A bell tolls high above. The front doors are wide open to allow fresh air in. The church is filled with praying townsfolk.<br> [[>>>|enterthechurch]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: That withered old cunt! I’ll fucking kill her!<br> [[•Send her back to hell, Slingshot! I bet she deserves it, whoever she is.]] [[•Calm down, Slingshot. What’s going on?]]

<<display "HUD">> An old priest welcomes you. He's dressed in black from head to toe and wears a silver chain around his neck. Two huge silver guns hang from his hips.<br> [[•I'd like a blessing.]] [[•I need a quiet place to pray.]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("•Tie his balls to the ceiling fan")>>\ <<print either("Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's naked body is lying in the street.", "Vultures are picking apart Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's naked body.", "Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's naked body is covered in flies.", "Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's naked body is starting to decay.")>> You pretend not to notice. What do you want to do?<br> [[•Go to the store]] [[•Visit the Cotton Corral]] [[•Stop by the old church]] [[•Head to the saloon]] [[•Visit the jail]] [[•Go to Buckaroo Bill’s ranch]] <<if $inventory.indexOf("Dorio's Map") gte 0>>\ [[•Follow Dorio's map]] <</if>>\ <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|etpiz2]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\ <<else>>\ What do you want to do?<br> [[•Go to the store]] [[•Visit the Cotton Corral]] [[•Stop by the old church]] [[•Head to the saloon]] [[•Visit the jail]] [[•Go to Buckaroo Bill’s ranch]] <<if $inventory.indexOf("Dorio's Map") gte 0>>\ [[•Follow Dorio's map]] <</if>>\ <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|etpiz2]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\ <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot storms off. You enter the church.<br> [[>>>|enterthechurch]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: That thrice-damned schoolmarm’s been stealin’ from my sister! I’ve been sending money to the orphanage for years now but that crusty old bitch has been keepin’ it for herself and giving the kids scraps! I’ll chop her tits off, I will!<br> [[•Hey, now, no need for that. Let’s cool off for a minute. Start from the beginning.]] [[•She’s stealing money from orphans? That’s fucked up.]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: That- she- ugh! Fine. A few years back my parents died of pneumonia. They left me and my kid sister to fend for ourselves. I wasn’t fit to take care of her at the time, so I sent her to the orphanage figuring they could take care of her.<br> [[>>>|totheorgaphande]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Not just orphans- my sister! A few years back my parents died of pneumonia. They left me and my kid sister to fend for ourselves. I wasn’t fit to take care of her at the time, so I sent her to the orphanage figuring they could take care of her.<br> [[>>>|totheorgaphande]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Every time I finish a job, I send a little bit of money to the old schoolmarm to make sure my sister’s well taken care of. But now I find out the old coot’s been pocketing the money for herself while the kids wear rags and eat moldy bread!<br> [[•Let’s go talk to her. I’m sure we can sort this out.]] [[•I’m going to leave this up to you, Slingshot. Just don’t do anything you’re gonna regret.]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot takes a deep breath and nods his head. He leads you to the orphanage. It’s an old wooden building. Most of the paint has peeled off over the years.<br> [[>>>|mostofthempainast]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot storms off. You enter the church.<br> [[>>>|enterthechurch]]

<<display "HUD">> You knock on the door. A snooty-looking woman with a pinched face answers. She is wearing a luxurious fur coat and a ton of gaudy rings.<br> [[>>>|loksdownsones]]

<<display "HUD">> The priest looks you up and down before shaking his head.<br> [[>>>|morethanablessing]]

<<set $hp += 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ +5 HP </div> The priest leads you to a secluded spot in the corner. Nobody pays any attention to you. You begin praying and after a while feel the divine light touch your spirit.<br> [[>>>|leavechurch]]

<<display "HUD">> Priest: If you plan on saving Limerick, you're going to need more than a blessing. You'll need these.<br> [[>>>|silverbullets]]

<div class="inv">\ SILVER BULLETS ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> The priest hands you six silver bullets.<br> [[>>>|takebullets]] <<set $inventory.push("Silver Bullets")>>\

<<display "HUD">> Priest: The devil himself stands in your way, Paladin. Rather, as close to the devil as you'll find in these parts. You've heard the name before, haven't you?<br> [[•What name?|What name?]] [[•Namtar.|Namtar.]]

<<display "HUD">> Priest: Namtar. The Shyfter this town was supposedly built on. Nobody's seen a Shyfter in these parts in over a thousand years, but evil's waking up. No doubt about it. Now you have my blessing and my bullets. Good luck, Paladin.<br> [[>>>|leavechurch]]

<<display "HUD">> Priest: That's right. Namtar is the Shyfter this town was supposedly built on. Nobody's seen a Shyfter in these parts in over a thousand years, but evil's waking up. No doubt about it. Now you have my blessing and my bullets. Good luck, Paladin.<br> [[>>>|leavechurch]]

<<if $hp gte $maxHP>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <<display "HUD">> You thank the priest and leave.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You thank the priest and leave.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <</if>>\

<div class="inv">\ ROLLING DICE </div> <div style="text-align: center;">\ <<timed 0.25s>>.<</timed>><<timed 0.5s>>.<</timed>><<timed 0.75s>>.<</timed>><<timed 1s>>.<</timed>> <<timed 1.25s>><<goto "•Killing monsters wasn’t part of the job. Most folk offer hazard pay for dangerous work.">> <</timed>> </div>

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I can set with that. I'll give ya a little extra when we arrive in Limerick, how’s that sound?<br> [[•Deal.]] [[•Keep your gold. I’ve been itching for a fight anyway.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: You gave me your rates when I signed you up, Paladin. Don't give me any of that "extra fees" horse shit now.<br> [[>>>|•Keep your gold. I’ve been itching for a fight anyway.]]

<<display "HUD">> You tell the bandits you’ll break their legs off and kick their asses with 'em if they don’t leave that cowboy alone. The thugs laugh at your bravado.<br> [[>>>|breakyahd]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Those dad-blasted hooligans... if you hadn’t shown up, I’d have been a goner for sure. Put ‘er there, stranger.<br> [[•Shake his hand]] [[•Glare at him]]

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeeeded21]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|attemptafailed21]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeeeded22]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|attemptafailed22]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> The thugs look terrified. Most folks know better than to mess with a Paladin. After a moment of hesitation, they run away.<br> [[>>>|breakyahdg]]

<<display "HUD">> Pistol Pete: Command us? You hear that, boys? This stranger thinks we're dogs to be commanded about! Nobody commands the Sixgun Kids to do nothin'!<br> [[•Sixgun Kids, huh? That’s a cute name for your club.]] [[•I don't give a twin shit what you call yourselves. You little pissants better get outta my way or there'll be hell to pay.]]

<<display "HUD">> The thugs look terrified. Most folks know better than to mess with a Paladin. After a moment of hesitation, they run away.<br> [[>>>|breakyahdg]]

<<display "HUD">> The bandits guffaw and slap their knees with glee.<br> [[>>>|slappyhapp]]

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|killemdead]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|FAIL1gg]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|letemlives]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|FAIL1ggs]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|letemlive]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|FAIL1gg]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarp]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You draw your sword a split second before the bandits draw their guns. You move faster than a 3-legged roadrunner outrunning a coyote. Your sword slices through necks and limbs with ease. The lifeless hooligans flop to the ground.<br> [[>>>|winthefight]]

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You draw your sword and spring forward, but the bandits are fast! A few bullets graze your arms, but you continue to charge forward, swinging your sword like a blind monkey shaking a stick.<br> [[>>>|sldkfhhgg]]

<<display "HUD">> The cowboy you saved dusts off his pants and picks up his crushed hat.<br> [[>>>|louunnns]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Those dad-blasted hooligans... if you hadn’t shown up, I’d have been a goner for sure. Put ‘er there, stranger.<br> [[•Shake his hand]] [[•Glare at him]]

<<display "HUD">> You raise your magic staff a split second before the bandits draw their guns. Time seems to slow down as you point your skull-topped staff at the bandit leader. An instant later his face melts off. A few bandits take shots at you, but you deflect the bullets with your staff and turn the fools into toads.<br> [[>>>|winthefight2]]

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You raise your magic staff and prepare to cast a spell, but the bandits are fast! A few bullets graze your arms, but you continue to charge forward, slinging spells and hexes back and forth, turning bandits and rocks into toads and butterflies.<br> [[>>>|sldkfhhgg]]

<<display "HUD">> The cowboy you saved dusts off his pants and picks up his crushed hat. He grabs one of the toads and squeezes hard. The toad pops.<br> [[>>>|louunnnss]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Jeezum strings, Paladin! I ain’t never seen nobody move that fast before!<br> [[>>>|peoifjjf]]

<div class="inv">\ Name: $name | HP: $hp/$maxHP [[Stats]] | [[Inventory]] </div>\

<div class="inv">\ Stats </div> BRAWN: $brawn SKILL: $skill GRIT: $grit WITS: $wits CHARM: $charm MAGIC: $magic <br> <<return "Back">>

<div class="inv">\ Inventory </div> <<print $inventory.join("\n")>> Gold: $gold Pizza: $pizza<br> <<return "Back">>

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|zingo]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|zingo2]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|zingo3]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|FAIL1]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|zingo3v]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|FAIL1v]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|zingo3]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|FAIL1]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You draw your sword and slice the rotspawn to ribbons! One of the ugly bastards staggers away in a pathetic attempt to escape.<br> [[•Grab the fucker and interrogate it]] [[•Put the little shit out of its misery]]

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You draw your sword to defend yourself, but the rotspawn are fast! One of them sinks its teeth into your right arm. You behead the fucker with your katana. The remaining rotspawn flee into the shadows once more.<br> [[>>>|bit2]]

<<display "HUD">> You stab the rotspawn in the face. The old prospector shivers in disgust. You survey the area once more.<br> [[>>>|fp]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Ugh! Rotspawn. Those things give me the heebie-jeebies!<br> [[>>>|infec]]

<<display "HUD">> You kill the rotspawn. The old prospector shivers in disgust. You survey the area once more.<br> [[>>>|fp]]

<<display "HUD">> Your aim is true, gunslinger! You unleash holy fire on the rotspawn, blasting off limbs and leaving the ugly bastards chock-full of lead. Three of 'em drop deader than wood in a wagon. The last one staggers away in a pathetic attempt to escape.<br> [[•Grab the fucker and interrogate it]] [[•Shoot the little shit and put it out of its misery]]

<<display "HUD">> You raise your magic staff high above your head. Time seems to slow down as you point your skull-topped staff at the closest rotspawn. An instant later the monster's face melts off. The other rotspawn take a few weak swipes at you, but you deflect the blows with your staff and turn the them into tiny piles of dog shit.<br> [[>>>|bit]]

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You raise your magic staff and prepare to cast a spell, but the rotspawn are fast! One of them sinks its teeth into your right arm. You brain the fucker with staff. The remaining rotspawn flee into the shadows once more.<br> [[>>>|bit2]]

<<set $talk1 = 1 + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeeededb]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|attemptafailedb]] <</if>>\

<<if $talk1 == 7>>\ <div class="inv">\ Challenges & Combat </div> 7 is just good enough. Success!<br> [[Drink whiskey|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (GRIT +1) [[Play cards|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (WITS +1) [[Start a fight|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (BRAWN +1) [[Shoot someone|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (SKILL +1) [[Cast a spell|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (MAGIC +1) [[Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (CHARM +1) [[Back|How to Play]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ Challenges & Combat </div> $talk1 is higher than 7. Success!<br> [[Drink whiskey|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (GRIT +1) [[Play cards|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (WITS +1) [[Start a fight|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (BRAWN +1) [[Shoot someone|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (SKILL +1) [[Cast a spell|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (MAGIC +1) [[Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (CHARM +1) [[Back|How to Play]] <</if>>\

<div class="inv">\ Challenges & Combat </div> $talk1 is lower than 7. Attempt failed!<br> [[Drink whiskey|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (GRIT +1) [[Play cards|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (WITS +1) [[Start a fight|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (BRAWN +1) [[Shoot someone|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (SKILL +1) [[Cast a spell|Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (MAGIC +1) [[Hook up with the sexy bartender]] (CHARM +1) [[Back|How to Play]]

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|gotcha]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|hitincart]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|gotcha2]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|hitincart2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You blast the rotspawn to bits with magical fireballs! Your mine cart goes flying over a huge gap and you crash into a pile of dirt on the far side. You brush yourself off and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You shoot magic fireballs at the rotspawn, but there are too many of them! A bunch of rotspawn throw themselves against your cart, knocking you off the tracks. Your mine cart goes flying over a huge gap and you crash into the abyss far below.<br> [[>>>|dead]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You shoot magic fireballs at the rotspawn, but there are too many of them! A bunch of rotspawn throw themselves against your cart, knocking you off the tracks. Your mine cart goes flying over a huge gap and you crash into a pile of dirt on the far side. You brush yourself off and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<div class="inv">\ GAME OVER </div> You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point.

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarping]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2zing]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarpingv]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2zingv]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarpincgvf]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2zingvxf]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarpingvf]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2zingvf]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You chop the rotspawn into little cubes of stinky meat! You twirl your katana and return it to the sheath on your back before taking a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> The rotspawn rip you to shreds. You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to load from a save point or restart. <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> The rotspawn get in a few good swipes at you before you're able to chop all their heads off. You sheathe your sword and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You blast the rotspawn to bits! You twirl your shotgun and return it to the holster slung across your back before taking a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> The rotspawn rip you to shreds. You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to load from a save point or restart. <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> The rotspawn get in a few good swipes at you before you're able to blast their brains out. You reholster your weapon and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You blast the rotspawn to bits! You twirl your guns and return them to the holsters slung across your hips before taking a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> The rotspawn rip you to shreds. You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to load from a save point or restart. <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> The rotspawn get in a few good swipes at you before you're able to blast their brains out. You reholster your weapons and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You turn the rotspawn into pillars of salt! You twirl your magic staff dramatically before taking a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]]

<<set $hp -= 4>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> The rotspawn rip you to shreds. You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to load from a save point or restart. <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> The rotspawn get in a few good swipes at you before you're able to melt their faces off with your magic. You catch your breath and take a look around. You can see firelight glowing in the tunnel ahead.<br> [[>>>|fireahead]] <</if>>\

<<set $pizza -= 1>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ HP restored </div> Pizza time!<br> [[>>>|campedsleep]]

<div class="inv">\ GAME OVER </div> Unfortunately, you're so exhausted you collapse on the way. The last thing you hear is Cassidy's nagging voice. Coyotes eat your corpse. You ran out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to load from a save point or restart.

<<set $pizza -= 1>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ HP restored </div> Pizza time!<br> [[>>>|campedsleepf]]

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarpingvhh]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2zingvhh]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Whiskey Jim mutters about good-for-nothing Paladins in his town and glares at you from across the room.<br> [[>>>|princeslutethatnk]]

<<display "HUD">> Whiskey Jim: You get the hell out of my establishment, Paladin! This don’t concern you.<br> [[•Like hell it doesn’t!]] [[•Well, if you say so... it is your bar, after all.]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Bless you, Paladin! Let’s get out of here before he throws one of his hell-raising fits.<br> [[>>>|beforewakesup]]

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|•Beat the shit out of him]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|yarp2zingvhhnn]] <</if>>\

<<set $hp -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 HP </div> You stride up to Whiskey Jim and grab him by the shirt collar. You can smell the sweat on his skin as you lock eyes with the scrawny bastard. You pull back your fist to deliver a powerful punch straight to his nose, but the wiry bastard smacks you over the head with a glass bottle. You slump to the floor in a daze.<br> [[>>>|straightnosev]]

<<display "HUD">> Whiskey Jim: I asked you nice once, Paladin. Now kindly GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BAR!<br> [[>>>|oldmanhelps]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck helps you to your feet. You limp out of the bar. You can hear Whiskey Jim screaming at Princess Lute and hitting her over and over again. What a fucking cockbite.<br> [[>>>|aslflsfkj]]

<<display "HUD">> Miner: Hey! We need help in here! It’s Cleet, he’s hurt bad! And there’s more rotspawn! Please, help us!<br> [[•Go into the mine and save the injured miners]] [[•Stay outside and help fight off the rotspawn]]

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|seeekseedss]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failingmored]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You raise your magic staff and shift the rubble out of the way, creating a pathway to freedom. Several of the miners come pouring out, pursued by rotspawn. Just then you hear someone shouting from inside the tunnel.<br> [[>>>|itsclethurt]]

<<set $hp -= 4>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> You raise your magic staff and shift the rubble out of the way, creating a pathway to freedom. Several of the miners come pouring out, pursued by rotspawn. Before you have time to react, the rotspawn begin to slash your arms and face with their claws!<br> [[>>>|deadorno]]

<<display "HUD">> Ignoring the rotspawn, you rush into the mine. At that moment a huge explosion knocks you off your feet. The Sixgun Kids detonated the TNT!<br> [[>>>|colspshaejsed]]

<<display "HUD">> You hold your ground and fight the rotspawn. Suddenly you're thrown off your feet by a massive explosion- the Sixgun Kids have detonated their dynamite!<br> [[>>>|dynablast]]

<<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ <<set $inventory.delete("Magic Staff")>>\ <div class="inv">\ Magic Staff destroyed! </div> The unstable tunnel collapses behind you, blocking your exit. As you stand and check yourself for injuries, you realize your magic staff was crushed in the rockslide- you’re trapped!<br> [[>>>|moretrostspwn]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The unstable tunnel collapses behind you, blocking your exit. Luckily, you're not injured. Unfortunately, you’re trapped!<br> [[>>>|moretrostspwn]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Miner: Uh... Paladin? A little help here??<br> [[>>>|alittlehelps]]

<<if visited("gooogogoogbb")>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man follows the cowboys to the mine.<br> [[>>>|slingshwosrd]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> The old man follows the cowboys to the mine.<br> [[>>>|crazycity]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: I, uh... I also have some business to attend to. I hope they can save everyone at the mine. Paladin, come by the old church later if you want to talk.<br> [[>>>|crazycity]]

<<display "HUD">> You take a look around the town. Things are fucking weird.<br> [[>>>|weridsttff]]

<<display "HUD">> You step back outside. Things are fucking weird.<br> [[>>>|weridsttff]]

<<display "HUD">> You begin digging frantically. You manage to shift most the rubble out of the way, creating a pathway to freedom. Several of the miners come pouring out, pursued by rotspawn. Just then you hear someone shouting from inside the tunnel.<br> [[>>>|itsclethurt]]

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: You've interrupted my favorite radio programme. You'd better have something important to say.<br> [[•We'd like to speak with one of the children you take care of.]] [[•Now where does the headmistress of an orphanage find the money to purchase an outfit like that?]]

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: The children are up in their rooms. Unscheduled guests are not permitted after hours.<br> [[•One of the kids here is Slingshot's little sister. We just want to make sure she's being taken care of.]] [[•Now where does the headmistress of an orphanage find the money to purchase an outfit like that?]]

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: Ugh! How rude! My financial affairs are none of your concern. If you've only come here to mock me, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Otherwise, I'll call the sheriff.<br> [[•We'd like to speak with one of the children you take care of.]] [[•We know you've been stealing money meant for the children!]]

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: Oh? Do you have your papers?<br> [[>>>|iermno]]

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: I- what- how DARE you!? I should call the sheriff right now! He'll hang you both in the street! I'll see to that personally!<br> [[•Go ahead and call him! We'll sort this out right now.]] [[•No need to call the sheriff, ma'am. I'm a Paladin. You're under arrest.]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Well, I... erm... no, I do not. But-<br> [[>>>|thenyoullleave]]

<<display "HUD">> The old woman begins to break down and cry. She blubbers through a variety of weak excuses and begs you not to call the sheriff.<br> [[•Use your Paladin authority to arrest her|•Arrest her]] [[•Tell her to leave Limerick and never return]]

<<display "HUD">> The old woman begins to break down and cry. She blubbers through a variety of weak excuses and begs you not to arrest her.<br> [[•Arrest her]] [[•Tell her to leave Limerick and never return]]

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: If you do not have proper identification I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Otherwise I will be forced to call the sheriff.<br> [[>>>|closeounyourface]]

<<display "HUD">> You arrest the old schoolmarm, who continues to cry pitifully. Just then you hear movement in the house. There is a little girl standing at the bottom of the staircase. She is wearing dirty rags.<br> [[>>>|dirtyraggirl]]

<<display "HUD">> The headmistress clutches her fur coat tight around herself and flees down the road. Slingshot spits after her.<br> [[>>>|slingspitns]]

<<display "HUD">> The old schoolmarm closes the door on your face.<br> [[•Leave|•Sneak around back and climb in through a window]] [[•Kick in the door|xnxn]] (BRAWN +$brawn)

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: We can't just leave! I need to make sure my sister's okay!<br> [[•This isn't my fight, Slingshot. You can take care of it, right?]] [[•What do you want me to do, kick down the door?]]

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|yarpingvhh88]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|•Try to calm him down66]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You kick the door off its hinges. The old woman stares at you in shock.<br> [[•We know you've been stealing money meant for the children!]] [[•You've been taking money that doesn't belong to you and leaving scraps for the kids. By my right as a Paladin, I'm placing you under arrest.]]

<<set $grit -= 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 GRIT </div> You kick the door and nearly shatter your knee. It's made of solid wood, not the cheap flimsy stuff most western doors are made of. The old woman yanks open the door in a rage.<br> [[>>>|wtfdidi]]

<<display "HUD">> You hear movement in the house. There is a little girl standing at the bottom of the staircase. She is wearing dirty rags.<br> [[>>>|dirtyraggirl]]

<<display "HUD">> Kate: Slingshot? Is that you?<br> [[>>>|isthatyou]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: It's me, Kate. It's nice to-<br> [[>>>|youleftmen]]

<<display "HUD">> The little girl runs over and kicks Slingshot in the nuts. He collapses in the dirt.<br> [[•Hahaha! You totally deserved that, Slingshot.|ya4]] [[•Hey! What did you do that for?|ya4]]

<<display "HUD">> Kate: You dastardly old dog, Slingshot! You left me with that rotten old witch! Mom and dad were dead and I had nobody but you and then you up and left! How could you!?<br> [[>>>|imsorrycake]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: I'm sorry, Kate! I know I messed up, but I'm going to fix this. I promise. I'll never leave you again.<br> [[•Where will you two go?]] [[•This facility is going to need someone with integrity to take over. Think you can handle the responsibility, Slingshot?|•This facility is going to need someone with integrity to take over. Think you can handle the responsibilty, Slingshot?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kate: Can we go to Flatiron, Slingshot? Oh, can we, please? I heard one of the other kids talking about it, and they made Flatiron sound like the loveliest place filled with horses and pretty folk. What do you say?<br> [[>>>|wouldnbebad]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: What!? Me? Take over the orphanage? Well, I... huh. I supposed I do need a respectable job, and it would keep me close to Kate. I could also make sure no other kids have to go through what my little sister went through with that awful woman.<br> [[>>>|illdoint]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Yeah. You know what? I'll do it. I'll become the best damn headmaster Limerick ever had! That... that's all right with you, right, Kate?<br> [[>>>|givesahug]]

<<if visited("•Arrest her")>>\ <<set $wits += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 WITS </div> The little girl gives her big brother a hug. You smile and leave them alone. They'll be all right now, you're sure of it. You lead the old schoolmarm to jail before returning to the center of town.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<set $wits += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 WITS </div> The little girl gives her big brother a hug. You smile and leave them alone. They'll be all right now, you're sure of it. You head back to town.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Well, sure! Why not? Life's an open road, little Kate. Grab your bags and we'll get a move on!<br> [[>>>|thankspaly]]

<<display "HUD">> The little girl skips away. Slingshot turns to you.<br> [[>>>|taksnah]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Well, I guess this is goodbye. That's three I owe ya now, Paladin. I don't know how I can ever repay you...<br> [[•Don't mention it.|itsma]] [[•I'm a Paladin. Helping people is what I do.|itsma]]

<<if visited("•Arrest her")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot grins. Kate returns with her bags and takes her brother's hand. They wave to you and wander off down the road. You watch them until they finally exit Limerick. They'll both be just fine now, you're sure of it. You lead the schoolmarm to jail before returning to the center of town.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Slingshot grins. Kate returns with her bags and takes her brother's hand. They wave to you and wander off down the road. You watch them until they finally exit Limerick. They'll both be just fine now, you're sure of it. With a smile on your face, you return to the center of town.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Headmistress Trudy: Now what the fuck did I just tell you!? Get the gawd-damn shitfuck off my fuckin' property right the fuck now!!<br> [[•We know you've been stealing money meant for the children!]] [[•You've been taking money that doesn't belong to you and leaving scraps for the kids. By my right as a Paladin, I'm placing you under arrest.]]

<<set $grit -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 GRIT </div> You spend the rest of the night travelling. This was an awful decision. The journey is terrible. Cassidy complains about her clothes, her hair, men, her father, Paladins, various towns, and just about everything else under the sun. Pappy Sawbuck bitches about good-for-nothing Paladins and throws dozens of insults your way. You don't arrive in Limerick until mid-day, and everyone is extremely cranky.<br> [[>>>|arrivedinlimh5]]

<<if visited("•Deal.")>>\ <<set $gold += 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ +5 gold pieces </div> Pappy Sawbuck: And I'm going to find some REAL help. I won't be sorry to see you go, you worthless turd. Here's that extra gold I promised you. Don't choke on it.<br> [[>>>|onyourown]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: And I'm going to find some REAL help. I won't be sorry to see you go, you worthless turd.<br> [[>>>|onyourown]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy and Pappy Sawbuck both leave. You're on your own once again.<br> [[>>>|crazycity]]

<<audio "Track2" loop play>>\ <div class="inv">\ LOADING </div> <div style="text-align: center;">\ <<timed 0.25s>>.<</timed>><<timed 0.5s>>.<</timed>><<timed 0.75s>>.<</timed>><<timed 1s>>.<</timed>> <<timed 1.25s>><<goto "Start">> <</timed>> </div>

<<display "HUD">> You wake up well rested. The old man is eating bacon and eggs in the dining room, but Cassidy is nowhere to be found.<br> [[>>>|wherescas]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: The innkeeper said Cassidy left about an hour ago. Headed west, toward old Buckaroo Bill's ranch. We should be able to finish the job before she gets back.<br> [[•Let's get going, then.]] [[•I'd like a beer first.]]

<<display "HUD">> You head outside. There's a sudden commotion down the street. You see two cowboys covered from head to toe in dust, panting on the ground and begging a crowd of people for help.<br> [[>>>|beggingfurod]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck slaps a few gold pieces down on the bar and brings you a mug of foamy beer. You clink glasses together and drink deeply.<br> [[•Everything all right, Old Timer? You look nervous.]] [[•Thanks for the beer.|•I don't have time for your family problems. Let's chug more beer and finish the job2.]]

<<display "HUD">>\ You finish your beer. You’re just about to stand up and leave when one of the showgirls working at the saloon sits down at your table. She grabs Pappy Sawbuck's mug and drains the rest of his beer, then lets out a loud burp.<br> [[>>>|loudburp]]

<<set $pizza -= 1>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ HP restored </div> Pizza time!<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> You wake up well rested. When you come downstairs, Cassidy is nowhere to be found.<br> [[•Ask the barman about Cassidy]] [[•Go outside]]

<<display "HUD">> Whiskey Jim: Yer friend left about an hour ago. Said she had some business with that old cattle baron, Buckaroo Bill. She headed west, towards his ranch.<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?]] [[•Thanks.|thankspar]]

<<display "HUD">> You walk outside. What do you want to do?<br> [[•Visit the Cotton Corral]] [[•Stop by the old church]] [[•Head to the saloon]] [[•Go to Buckaroo Bill’s ranch]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|etpiz2]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">>\ Whiskey Jim: He's a powerful man. Just about runs the whole damn town. He's got a sprawling cattle empire, and some say he's got the town sheriff in his pocket to boot. It's no surprise your friend has an interest in him.<br> [[>>>|thanksanlef]]

<<display "HUD">> You thank the barman and leave. What do you want to do?<br> [[•Visit the Cotton Corral]] [[•Stop by the old church]] [[•Head to the saloon]] [[•Go to Buckaroo Bill’s ranch]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|etpiz2]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\

<<if visited("howmuchgamble")>>\ <<display "HUD">> That's enough gambling for now.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You sit down at a table to play cards.<br> [[>>>|howmuchgamble]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("atthebar")>>\ <<display "HUD">> That's enough drinking for today.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You head over to the bar.<br> [[>>>|atthebar]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("depmarsh")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Now's not the time to play hide the pickle. Go do something else.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You spot two potential boink-mates.<br> [[>>>|depmarsh]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You punch the first guy you see. He smashes through a table, spilling beer on a group of cowboys. Suddenly everyone is fighting!<br> [[Fight!!]] (BRAWN +$brawn)

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|winbrawl]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|losebrawl]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You smash a chair over one cowboy's head, then toss a tough looking chick through the window. You grab bottles of whiskey and smash them over another dude's head. It's complete chaos.<br> [[>>>|gtfohere]]

<<set $hp -= 5>>\ <<if $hp lte 0>>\ <div class="inv">\ GAME OVER </div> Someone smashes a chair over your head. You almost pass out, but manage to catch yourself on a table. Just then someone pulls a gun and shoots you in the belly. You look at the blood, but you're too weak to do anything about it. You collapse to the floor, dead.<br> GAME OVER.<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ -5 HP </div> Someone smashes a chair over your head and punches out your front tooth. Everyone around you is fighting. It's complete chaos.<br> [[>>>|gtfohere]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> The angry barman fires his gun in the air, causing everyone to freeze mid-fight.<br> [[>>>|asshat]]

<<display "HUD">> Barman: I expected better from a Paladin. Now that you've destroyed my saloon and beat up my customers, I'm gunna have to ask you to kindly get the fuck out. Goddamn shitfucker.<br> [[>>>|youleave]]

<<display "HUD">> You exit the saloon.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> What do you want to do?<br> [[•Play cards]] [[•Drink whiskey]] [[•Find a fuck buddy]] [[•Start a bar fight]] [[•Leave|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> Barman: Howdy! What can I get for you?<br> [[•A glass of whiskey]] (5 gold pieces) [[•A shot of Snake Bite]] (10 gold pieces) [[•A bottle of Slick's Dynamite]] (25 gold pieces) [[•Nothing|insidesaloon]]

<<if $gold gte 5>>\ <<set $gold -= 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ -5 GOLD </div> You buy a glass of whiskey.<br> [[•Drink it|whiskdrink]] (GRIT +$grit) [[•Give it to a drunk]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Barman: You don't have enough gold! Want anything else?<br> [[•A shot of Snake Bite]] (10 gold pieces) [[•A bottle of Slick's Dynamite]] (25 gold pieces) [[•Nothing|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 10>>\ <<set $gold -= 10>>\ <div class="inv">\ -10 GOLD </div> You buy a glass of whiskey.<br> [[•Drink it|whiskdrink2]] (GRIT +$grit) [[•Give it to a drunk]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Barman: You don't have enough gold! Want anything else?<br> [[•A glass of whiskey]] (5 gold pieces) [[•A bottle of Slick's Dynamite]] (25 gold pieces) [[•Nothing|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 25>>\ <<set $gold -= 25>>\ <div class="inv">\ -25 GOLD </div> You buy a glass of whiskey.<br> [[•Drink it|whiskdrink3]] (GRIT +$grit) [[•Give it to a drunk]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Barman: You don't have enough gold! Want anything else?<br> [[•A glass of whiskey]] (5 gold pieces) [[•A shot of Snake Bite]] (10 gold pieces) [[•Nothing|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You give your drink to one of the barflies. He chugs it and immediately passes out.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|winbrawl2]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|losebrawl2]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("whiskdrink")>>\ <<set $grit += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 GRIT </div> Damn, that's smooth!<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <<elseif visited("whiskdrink2")>>\ <<set $grit += 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ +2 GRIT </div> Damn, that's smooth!<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <<else>>\ <<set $grit += 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ +3 GRIT </div> Damn, that's smooth!<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("whiskdrink")>>\ <<set $grit -= 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 GRIT </div> Ugh! Blegh! You instantly start puking. The barman forces you to leave.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<elseif visited("whiskdrink2")>>\ <<set $grit -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 GRIT </div> Ugh! Blegh! You instantly start puking. The barman forces you to leave.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<set $grit -= 3>>\ <<stopallaudio>>\ <<audio "poop" loop play>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 GRIT </div> You shit yourself. The barman forces you to leave. But hey, that's all right- you unlocked the secret song!<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> How much do you want to gamble?<br> [[•5 gold pieces]] [[•10 gold pieces]] [[•20 gold pieces]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <<set $poker = 0>>\

<<if $gold gte 5>>\ <<set $gold -= 5>>\ <<set $poker = 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ BET PLACED </div> You bet 5 gold pieces.<br> [[•Play cards!]] (WITS +$wits) <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|howmuchgamble]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 10>>\ <<set $gold -= 10>>\ <<set $poker = 10>>\ <div class="inv">\ BET PLACED </div> You bet 10 gold pieces.<br> [[•Play cards!]] (WITS +$wits) <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|howmuchgamble]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 20>>\ <<set $gold -= 20>>\ <div class="inv">\ BET PLACED </div> You bet 20 gold pieces.<br> [[•Play cards!]] (WITS +$wits) <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|howmuchgamble]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $wits + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|winbrawl2nn]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|losebrawlmm2]] <</if>>\

<<if $poker == 5>>\ <<set $gold += 10>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU WON </div> You won 5 gold pieces!<br> [[•Bet again|howmuchgamble]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <<elseif $poker == 10>>\ <<set $gold += 20>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU WON </div> You won 10 gold pieces!<br> [[•Bet again|howmuchgamble]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <<else>>\ <<set $gold += 40>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU WON </div> You won 20 gold pieces!<br> [[•Bet again|howmuchgamble]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<if $poker == 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU LOST </div> You lost 5 gold pieces!<br> [[•Bet again|howmuchgamble]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <<elseif $poker == 10>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU LOST </div> You lost 10 gold pieces!<br> [[•Bet again|howmuchgamble]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <<else>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU LOST </div> You lost 20 gold pieces!<br> [[•Bet again|howmuchgamble]] [[•Leave table|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> By the time you arrive in Limerick, the sun has already set.<br> [[>>>|sunset]]

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandy]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("kanatax")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You draw your sword and slice through the group of thugs. Cleet staggers back with the dynamite. You chop off his arm, catch the explosives, and immediately behead him.<br> [[>>>|defeatedthebandits]] <<elseif visited("uspell")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You cast a powerful spell that turns the bandits into birds. They poop and flutter away.<br> [[>>>|defeatedthebandits]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Before the bandits have time to react, you've put bullets into each and every one of them. You level your gun at Cleet and blast him right in the chest. The dynamite in his hand goes flying in the air, but you skillfully catch it and set it safely on the ground.<br> [[>>>|defeatedthebandits]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("takingcoverrocks")>>\ <div class="inv">\ GAME OVER </div> It's no use! There are too many bandits and you can't get a clean shot. As you try to avoid being shot yourself, one of the bandits sets off a dynamite blast. The rocks beneath your feet give way and you're crushed in a landslide. YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<set $hp -= 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ -5 HP </div> There are too many bandits! Their bullets fly from all angles, forcing you to take cover behind a pile of rocks.<br> [[>>>|takingcoverrocks]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandy]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandy]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandy]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> With the bandits dead, you return your attention to the miners in the canyon below.<br> [[>>>|totheminers]]

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You realize too late that you've been shot in the belly. You try to stop the bleeding, but it's too late for you. The last thing you hear before drifting off into oblivion is the sound of an explosion- the bandits detonated the dynamite!<br> YOU ARE DEAD.<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You've taken a few hits, but you're still alive. You can hear the bandits discussing what to do next.<br> [[>>>|•Shoot the guy setting dynamite]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("sheriffshere")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Better leave the sheriff alone for now.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You head towards the jail. The town sheriff approaches. He brushes the dust off his clothes and complains about his gosh-derned horsed.<br> [[>>>|sheriffshere]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: You lookin’ for trouble, Paladin?<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|bb2]] [[•What can you tell me about the Sixgun Kids?]] [[•Have rotspawn been a problem for this town?]] [[•Have you seen anything strange around town recently?]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Don’t you pay them any mind. The townsfolk have a nasty habit of making a big deal about nothing. The Sixgun Kids ain’t as bad as people say.<br> [[•What are they doing here?]] [[•How much are they paying you to turn a blind eye?]] [[•I want to talk about something else]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Rotspawn have always been a nuisance to Limerick, but the Sixgun Kids seem to be well equipped to deal with them. Those boys may ruffle a few feathers around town, but I think it's worth the trade-off, don't you?<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|bb2]] [[•What can you tell me about the Sixgun Kids?]] [[•Have rotspawn been a problem for this town?]] [[•Have you seen anything strange around town recently?]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: There's always strange happenings going on around Limerick, but it seems like the rotspawn have gotten more... aggressive... recently. I'm not sure what's causing it, but it's almost like something is waking up, if you catch my meaning. Like something is... calling to them.<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|bb2]] [[•What can you tell me about the Sixgun Kids?]] [[•Have rotspawn been a problem for this town?]] [[•Have you seen anything strange around town recently?]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> The sheriff grunts and walks inside. You're about to walk away when someone calls out to you.<br> [[>>>|dorioshere]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Old Bill’s a good man, Paladin. You leave that man alone. He’s been through a lot, what with his daughter gone missing and all. Bill’s a private man and he doesn’t like it when people muddle in his affairs.<br> [[•What happened to his daughter?]] [[•Are you covering for Bill?]] [[•I want to talk about something else]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Well, I don’t rightly know, now, do I? The whole damn town’s been searching for Myrtle for nearly a month. If you want my honest opinion, I think she’s dead. Eaten by rotspawn or sold into slavery. Life’s hard on the wild frontier. Wouldn’t be the first time someone around here turned up dead.<br> [[•Do you have any other information on Myrtle?]] [[•Are you covering for Bill?]] [[•I want to talk about something else]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: I ain’t coverin' for nobody. All I’m saying is Bill ain’t none of your concern. Don’t you go stickin’ your nose where it doesn’t belong, understand?<br> [[•What happened to Bill’s daughter?]] [[•I want to talk about something else]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Make it quick.<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|bb2]] [[•What can you tell me about the Sixgun Kids?]] [[•Have rotspawn been a problem for this town?]] [[•Have you seen anything strange around town recently?]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Nothing I’d care to share with a Paladin. I can handle the problems in Limerick well enough on my own, thank you very much.<br> [[•Are you covering for Bill?]] [[•I want to talk about something else]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: Trying to make a life for themselves, just like everyone else. They’re a bit tougher than the farmers around here, and that can make people scared. But they don’t mean any harm.<br> [[•Who is their leader?]] [[•Where do they hang out?]] [[•I want to talk about something else]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: You’re barking up the wrong tree, Paladin.<br> [[>>>|sherifleaves]]

<<display "HUD">> Sheriff Greer: They're all over the damn town, just open your eyes and you're bound to see 'em.<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|bb2]] [[•What can you tell me about the Sixgun Kids?]] [[•Have rotspawn been a problem for this town?]] [[•Have you seen anything strange around town recently?]] [[•Goodbye]]

<<display "HUD">> The sheriff turns his back on you and enters the jailhouse. He slams the door behind him. You hear the lock click into place. Looks like you won't be getting any help from the sheriff. You're about to walk away when someone calls out to you.<br> [[>>>|dorioshere]]

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandyxx]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandyxx]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandyxx2]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandyxx2]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandyxx3]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandyxx3]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandyxx2]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandyxx2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your katana and cleave the rotspawn limb from limb!<br> [[>>>|harashout]]

<<set $hp -= 4>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> Several rotspawn tackle you to the ground and begin tearing at your face and neck.<br> [[>>>|check4deds]]

<<display "HUD">> BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! You shoot the rotspawn! They drop to the dirt in fountains of blood.<br> [[>>>|harashout]]

<<set $hp -= 4>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> Several rotspawn tackle you to the ground and begin tearing at your face and neck.<br> [[>>>|check4dedb]]

<<display "HUD">> You zap the rotspawn with magic lightning bolts! They dissolve into tiny ash piles.<br> [[>>>|harashout]]

<<set $hp -= 4>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> Several rotspawn tackle you to the ground and begin tearing at your face and neck.<br> [[>>>|check4ded]]

<<display "HUD">> Just then you hear someone shouting from inside the tunnel.<br> [[>>>|itsclethurt]]

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ What will you do?<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your katana|kanataxtt]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|shortguntt]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic|uspelltt]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|usistolpistt]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\ <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|whiskinppuxz]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failingmoredvc]] <</if>>\

<<set $hp -= 4>>\ <div class="inv">\ -4 HP </div> You begin digging frantically. You manage to shift most the rubble out of the way, creating a pathway to freedom. Several of the miners come pouring out, pursued by rotspawn. Before you have time to react, the rotspawn begin to slash your arms and face with their claws!<br> [[>>>|deadorno]]

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Your eyes glow blue with arcane magic and you zap the rotspawn with magic lightning bolts! They dissolve into tiny ash piles.<br> [[>>>|harashout]] <</if>>\

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You stick your gun in a rotspawn's mouth and blast its brains out. You spring to your feet and shoot the rotspawn closest to you.<br> [[>>>|harashout]] <</if>>\

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You have run out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You stab your sword through the closest rotspawn's throat. As the beast flops over in a spray of blood, you spring to your feet and hack apart a few of the closer bastards.<br> [[>>>|harashout]] <</if>>\

<<if $oldtimer == 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You watch in horror as Pappy Sawbuck is crushed by falling rocks. Many of the miners are killed by the blast- you barely manage to escape yourself.<br> [[>>>|manageto]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Many of the miners are killed by the blast- you barely manage to escape yourself.<br> [[>>>|manageto]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> The rotspawn are closing in! What will you do?<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your katana|kanataxtto]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|shortguntto]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic|uspelltto]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|usistolpistto]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|inmin]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|noshin]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|succeedbandyxx5d]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandyxxdf3]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|77777]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|567]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|77succeedbandyxx]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|44failbandyxx]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You yank the katana off your back and stab it into the closest monster’s face. A second rotspawn staggers towards you and you slice a hole in its chest. Three more of the fuckers surround you. You smack the closest one with the butt of your sword before flipping it around and slicing the other two into red mist.<br> [[>>>|fancyswejrudu]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You reach for your sword but realize it’s on the ground across the cavern! The rotspawn swarm you. You fight them off with your fists, but there are too many of them! One of them tackles you and your head smacks against a rock. The last thing you hear before everything fades to darkness is the sound of gunfire...<br> [[>>>|soundofgunfinre]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You reach for your shotgun but realize it’s on the ground across the cavern! The rotspawn swarm you. You fight them off with your fists, but there are too many of them! One of them tackles you and your head smacks against a rock. The last thing you hear before everything fades to darkness is the sound of gunfire...<br> [[>>>|soundofgunfinre]]

<<display "HUD">> You yank the boomstick off your back and unload a spray of buckshot into the closest monster’s face. A second rotspawn staggers towards you and you blow a hole in its chest. Three more of the fuckers surround you. You smack the closest one with your shotgun before flipping it around and blasting the other two into red mist.<br> [[>>>|fancyswejrud]]

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your staff and smash it into the closest monster’s face. A second rotspawn staggers towards you and you blast a fiery hole in its chest. Three more of the fuckers surround you. You smack the closest one with your staff before flipping it around and incinerating the other two with a massive fireball.<br> [[>>>|fancyswejruduh]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You reach for your staff but realize it’s on the ground across the cavern! The rotspawn swarm you. You fight them off with your fists, but there are too many of them! One of them tackles you and your head smacks against a rock. The last thing you hear before everything fades to darkness is the sound of gunfire...<br> [[>>>|soundofgunfinre]]

<<display "HUD">> You whip out your pistols and unload a round into the closest monster’s face. A second rotspawn staggers towards you and you blow a hole in its chest. Three more of the fuckers surround you. You smack the closest one with the butt of your gun before flipping it around and blasting the other two into red mist.<br> [[>>>|fancyswejruds]]

<<set $hp -= 3>>\ <div class="inv">\ -3 HP </div> You reach for your guns but realize they're on the ground across the cavern! The rotspawn swarm you. You fight them off with your fists, but there are too many of them! One of them tackles you and your head smacks against a rock. The last thing you hear before everything fades to darkness is the sound of gunfire...<br> [[>>>|soundofgunfinre]]

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your gun and reholster it like a badass.<br> [[>>>|likeasbadasdd]]

<<if visited("tragic")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cleet: Thanks for saving us, Paladin! I thought we were goners for sure!<br> [[•You're Cleet, right? Your father's outside. He came here to rescue you.]] [[•Can you walk? We need to find a way out of here.]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Cleet: Thanks for saving us, Paladin! I thought we were goners for sure!<br> [[•Those damn Sixgun Kids blasted this mine apart. I hope everyone outside got away safely.]] [[•Can you walk? We need to find a way out of here.|iuryhf]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your guns and reholster them like a badass.<br> [[>>>|likeasbadasdd]]

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You ran out of HP... YOU ARE DEAD!<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You open your eyes. The world around you is just as dark as if you’d kept them shut. You notice a soft orange glow in the distance and you roll towards it. You can see faces illuminated in the glow- two men sitting side by side in the darkness, smoking freshly rolled cigarettes.<br> [[>>>|freshlyrolled]] <</if>>

<<display "HUD">> Miner: Look who finally woke up! Glad to see you’re not dead, Paladin.<br> [[>>>|likeasbadasdd]]

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your sword and resheathe it like a badass.<br> [[>>>|likeasbadasdd]]

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your staff and pose like a badass.<br> [[>>>|likeasbadasdd]]

<<if visited("tragic")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You can tell by the looks on the gathered faces that things didn't go well.<br> [[>>>|didntgowell]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You can tell by the looks on the gathered faces that things didn't go well.<br> [[>>>|didntgowell2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You approach the old man. He looks up at you through bleary red eyes and wipes a glob of snot from his nose.<br> [[•Tell him his son joined the Sixgun Kids]] [[•Tell him his son was killed by the Sixgun Kids]] [[•Tell him his son managed to escape]]

<<display "HUD">> The miners pack up their gear and return to their homes. It's been a long day.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> You tell Pappy Sawbuck the truth. It breaks the old man's heart, but he doesn't blame you for your actions. He's ashamed of his son, but he knows that a lot of people would have been killed if you hadn't stepped in.<br> [[>>>|pappyleaves]]

<<display "HUD">> The old man is distraught to hear the news. He grabs his hat and wanders off to be alone.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I knew it... he's a Sawbuck! I knew he'd find a way to escape. I just hope some day I can meet up with him again and apologize. Thank you, Paladin.<br> [[>>>|tolone]]

<<display "HUD">> The old man grabs his hat and wanders off to be alone.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Dad-gummit, Paladin! Fine, I'll handle this on my own. Good riddance.<br> [[>>>|yougoawehd]]

<<display "HUD">> Slingshot: Well... yes!!<br> [[•Okay.]] [[•I can't do that. I trust you'll find a way to sort things out on your own.|•This isn't my fight, Slingshot. You can take care of it, right?]]

<<display "HUD">> You leave Slingshot to deal with the old schoolmarm himself.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> In one corner of the room you spot Deputy Marshall James Stevenson. He looks like he's ready to strip at a bachelorette party. He's wearing a leather vest but is shirtless underneath. He keeps pouring shots of tequila down his washboard abs and winking at you.<br> [[>>>|lcukybess]]

<<display "HUD">> On the other side of the room is Lucky Bessie, who is possibly the most drop-dead gorgeous woman in Limerick. She's wearing a skimpy waitress outfit and every time she leans over to put a tray on a table you can see straight down her shirt. The men she's serving keep shelling out more gold in tips. Which one will you talk to?<br> [[•Deputy Marshall James Stevenson]] [[•Lucky Bessie]] [[•I changed my mind, I don't wanna do the no-pants dance anymore|insidesaloon]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: Howdy!<br> [[•Um... hi, uh... can I buy you a beer?]] [[•Can I touch your abs?]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•Enough talk, sexpot! Let's fuck!]] (CHARM +$charm)

<<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie: Hi, there!<br> [[•Enough talk, sexpot! Let's fuck!|lf2]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•You're very pretty. Can I buy you a drink?]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: That's very kind of you, stranger, but I don't drink.<br> [[•But... weren't you just pouring shots of tequila down your washboard abs?]] [[•Do you fuck?]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: You're darn tootin' I was!<br> [[•Um... okay then. Wanna have sex?]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•You're a vapid fool. Get out of my sight.]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: I fuck like a monkey!<br> [[•Great, let's have wild monkey sex.]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•Go shove a cactus up your ass.]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson looks at you with disgust and walks away.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|manbang]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|nobang]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|letsfucknow]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|nobang]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson looks at you with disgust and walks away.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: Sure!<br> [[•Gently caress his abs]] [[•Give him a purple nurple]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: I think my dick fell off and ran away. Please leave me alone.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<display "HUD">> You gently caress Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's washboard abs.<br> [[>>>|letsfucknow]]

<<display "HUD">> You twist Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's nipple as hard as you can. He howls like a pregnant wolf in a rainstorm.<br> [[>>>|letsfucknow]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson: My dick is harder than steel right now! You and me are going to fuck on this table right in the middle of the saloon!<br> [[>>>|smashtable]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson picks you up and smashes you on the table, which shatters. The two of you collapse to the floor and start making out. Like, really hard core going at it. It's like your tongues are thumb wrestling. The bar patrons glance over but then go back to their drinks.<br> [[>>>|banbgabnbag]]

<<if visited("Chick")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson rips open your shirt and motorboats your boobs while making shark noises.<br> [[•Give him a handjob]] [[•Suck his dick]] [[•Tie his balls to the ceiling fan]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Deputy Marshall James Stevenson rips off your pants and starts jacking you off while making shark noises.<br> [[•Give him a handjob]] [[•Suck his dick]] [[•Tie his balls to the ceiling fan]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<print either("You stroke Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's pork sword. He purrs like a feral mountain cat.", "You furiously tug on Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's weiner. That's gunna leave some nasty rugburn.", "You squeeze Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's one-eyed rattlesnake. He squeals with pleasure.")>><br> [[•Suck his dick]] [[•Stick your finger in his ass]] [[•Give him a handjob]] [[•Fuck his brains out]] [[•Tie his balls to the ceiling fan]]

<<display "HUD">> <<print either("You shove Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's bum-tickler in your mouth. He shivers and begins doing clown impressions.", "You gobble Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's flapdoodle. He begins panting faster.", "You suck on Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's ding-dong. He farts.")>><br> [[•Suck his dick]] [[•Stick your finger in his ass]] [[•Give him a handjob]] [[•Fuck his brains out]] [[•Tie his balls to the ceiling fan]]

<<display "HUD">> You tie Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's balls to the ceiling fan. He gives you the thumbs up and you turn the fan on. He begins to spin around the room like a lasso at the rodeo. The fan spins faster and faster until finally the rope snaps and Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's naked body goes flying out the window. You put your clothes back on and pretend nothing happened. Maybe that's enough sex for today...<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<display "HUD">> <<print either("You stick your finger in Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's pooper. He giggles.", "You shove your finger up Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's ass. He grunts.", "You jam your finger in Deputy Marshall James Stevenson's butthole. He smiles.")>><br> [[•Suck his dick]] [[•Stick your finger in his ass]] [[•Give him a handjob]] [[•Fuck his brains out]] [[•Tie his balls to the ceiling fan]]

<<display "HUD">> You and Deputy Marshall James Stevenson fuck like there's no tomorrow. The cleaning staff is going to be very unhappy with you. There is cum everywhere.<br> [[>>>|endsex]]

<<display "HUD">> The two of you put your clothes back on and part ways.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie: That's awful sweet of you, but I really shouldn't have a drink right now. Tequila makes me CRAZY!<br> [[•BARTENDER! TWO TEQUILAS PLEASE!]] (5 gold pieces) [[•Very well, how about we talk for a while?]] [[•Enough talk, sexpot! Let's fuck!|lf2]] (CHARM +$charm)

<<if $gold gte 5>>\ <<set $gold -= 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ -5 GOLD </div> A bartender brings two shots of tequila. Lucky Bessie shyly thanks you and you both take a shot.<br> [[>>>|nexyaknow]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie: You don't have 5 gold pieces? What are you, some kind of hobo? Get away from me!<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie: Who has time for talking? Let's have sex!<br> [[>>>|bessex]]

<<display "HUD">> The next thing you know Lucky Bessie is dancing topless on the table and shouting "WOO!" over and over again.<br> [[•Enough woo-ing, sexpot! Let's fuck!|lf2]] (CHARM +$charm) [[•Shall we take this somewhere a little more private?]]

<<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie: No, I'm taking you right here!<br> [[>>>|bessex]]

<<if visited("Chick")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie tackles you to the ground and rips your clothes off.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Fuck her with a cucumber]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie tackles you to the ground and rips your clothes off.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Have wild crazy sex]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("Chick")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You stick a finger in her honey pot. She moans with pleasure.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Fuck her with a cucumber]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You stick a finger in her honey pot. She moans with pleasure.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Have wild crazy sex]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("Chick")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You squeeze her tits. She slaps you in the face.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Fuck her with a cucumber]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You squeeze her tits. She slaps you in the face.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Have wild crazy sex]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You shove a cucumber inside her whisker biscuit. She has three leg-shaking orgasms in a row. While she lays catatonic on the floor you use the cucumber on yourself. The cleaning staff is going to be very unhappy with you. There is lady juice everywhere.<br> [[>>>|endsex]]

<<display "HUD">> You slide your pleasure pump into her love tunnel and have insane sex right on the floor of the saloon. The cleaning staff is going to be very unhappy with you. There is cum everywhere.<br> [[>>>|endsex]]

<<if visited("Chick")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You slide your tongue inside her cave of wonders. She shrieks with glee.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Fuck her with a cucumber]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You slide your tongue inside her cave of wonders. She shrieks with glee.<br> [[•Finger her]] [[•Lick her furburger]] [[•Squeeze her boobs]] [[•Have wild crazy sex]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|bessex]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|nobang2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Lucky Bessie: I'd rather get fucked by my uncle's horse.<br> [[>>>|insidesaloon]]

<<display "HUD">> Whatever the Sixgun Kids were looking for, you're sure they'll never find it. As you run away, you witness the entire mountainside being overrun by the rotspawn that were released by the explosion. Maybe there will be time to deal with this mess later...<br> [[>>>|headonbackfuk]]

<<display "HUD">> You return to Limerick to recuperate. What do you want to do?<br> [[•Visit the Cotton Corral]] [[•Stop by the old church]] [[•Head to the saloon]] [[•Visit the jail]] [[•Go to Buckaroo Bill’s ranch]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|etpiz2]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $brawn + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|shitslice]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $grit + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|shitsliceg]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $magic + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|shitslicegy]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $skill + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|shitsliceg]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|failbandy]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You twirl your sword and cut Cleet's head off. The other bandits back away, then throw their guns in the dirt and flee.<br> [[•Loot the body|lotbods]] [[•Return to the miners|thebandtsfleegain]]

<<display "HUD">> You return to the canyon, where the rescue effort seems to have stopped. You can tell by the looks on the gathered faces that things didn't go well.<br> [[>>>|didntgowellv]]

<<set $gold += 24>>\ <div class="inv">\ +24 GOLD </div> You find 24 gold pieces and a letter: "Cleet, take the boys and set the explosives on the ridge just north of the mine entrance. Make sure you steer clear once they're set- that area is unstable. We should find what we're looking for there." It's signed BUCKAROO BILL.<br> [[>>>|thebandtsfleegain]]

<<display "HUD">> Miner: We lost 'em, Paladin. The men in that mine... we couldn't get to 'em in time. The rotspawn got 'em... no use clearing out that rubble now. We'd just release those demons from their prison and get more people killed...<br> [[•Fuck... I wasn't fast enough.|0909]] [[•I'm sorry to hear that.|0909]] [[•Weak men don't deserve to live.]]

<<display "HUD">> The miner nods and grits his teeth. It's been a long day.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> The miner spits curses after you as you walk away.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> You blast a hole in Cleet's face. The lifeless body flumps to the ground. The other bandits back away, then throw their guns in the dirt and flee.<br> [[•Loot the body|lotbods]] [[•Return to the miners|thebandtsfleegain]]

<<display "HUD">> You incinerate Cleet's face with magic. The lifeless body flumps to the ground. The other bandits back away, then throw their guns in the dirt and flee.<br> [[•Loot the body|lotbods]] [[•Return to the miners|thebandtsfleegain]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: Excuse me, Paladin? Do you have a moment?<br> [[•Sure, what can I do for you?]] [[•Sorry, I'm busy.]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with the sheriff. My name's Dorio. I'm one of the town deputies. I may have some information that will help you with your investigation into Buckaroo Bill.<br> [[•I'm listening.]] [[•I'm not interested in gossip.]]

<<display "HUD">> The deputy apologizes for bothering you and leaves.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: The first thing you gotta know is this: the sheriff ain't exactly on the level. Buckaroo Bill's got Greer on his payroll. Hell, that old cattle baron's got most of Limerick in his pocket.<br> [[•Why are you telling me this?|thepoint]] [[•Get to the point.|thepoint]]

<<display "HUD">> The deputy apologizes for bothering you and leaves.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: I've been building a corruption case against Buckaroo Bill for a few months now, but it's been difficult. I can't be too open about it- hell, my own boss is getting paid by the man.<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|telmbils]] [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?|missingdug]] [[•What can you tell me about the Sixgun Kids?|gisunkids]] [[•Thanks for the info.]]

<<if visited("newtunnels")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: That's all I've got for you, Paladin.<br> [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?]] [[•Thanks for the info.]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: Old Bill runs the cattle ranch to the west of town. He's a powerful man, and extremely wealthy to boot. But it seems like cows aren't his primary interest...<br> [[>>>|primaryinterest]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: Myrtle's been missing for a good long while now... I hate to say it, but I have to agree with the sheriff's assessment. I think she's dead.<br> [[•What can you tell me about Buckaroo Bill?|telmbils]] [[•Thanks for the info.]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: They showed up in town a few weeks ago. They're a rough lot, and I don't trust 'em. There's been a lot of activity at the mine recently, and the Sixgun Kids have been hoarding dynamite. However, I don't think they're looking for gold. No, I think Bill's got the Sixgun Kids digging for something deeper... something dangerous.<br> [[•What do you think they're searching for?]] [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?]] [[•Thanks for the info.]]

<div class="inv">\ MAP ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> Deputy Dorio: You see, I found this map on one of the Sixgun Kids. The body had been ripped to shreds on the outskirts of town- I can only imagine it was a rotspawn attack. See this? That's the main entrance to the Sawbuck Mine, but THESE tunnels are new to me.<br> [[>>>|newtunnels]] <<set $inventory.push("Dorio's Map")>>\

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: There's been a lot of activity at the mine recently, and the Sixgun Kids have been hoarding dynamite. However, I don't think they're looking for gold. No, I think Bill's got the Sixgun Kids digging for something deeper... something dangerous.<br> [[•What do you think they're searching for?]] [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?]] [[•Thanks for the info.]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: I can't say for sure, but there's something funny happening in Limerick. And it seems to be coming from Bill's ranch. That old cattle baron's been acting REAL strange recently.<br> [[>>>|beenactingralstrange]]

<<display "HUD">> The deputy tips his hat to you and leaves.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: He used to come into town several times a week to drink and gamble, but lately he hasn't been by much at all. And when he does come, he acts odd. Not at all like his usual self.<br> [[•Have you found out anything else about Bill?]] [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?]] [[•Thanks for the info.]]

<<if visited("thekeyhere")>>\ <<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: Sorry, Paladin. That's all I have for you.<br> [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?]] [[•Thanks for the info.]] <<else>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Bill's key")>>\ <div class="inv">\ KEY ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> Deputy Dorio reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tarnished key. He hands it to you.<br> [[>>>|thekeyhere]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Deputy Dorio: I took this key off Old Bill the night his daughter went missing. He had one too many drinks, so I locked him in the drunk tank for the night. He took off in a hurry the next morning, and I never got a chance to return it to him. I think it unlocks the shed behind his house, but I can't be sure. Maybe it will be of some use to you.<br> [[•Do you have any information on Bill's missing daughter?]] [[•Thanks for the info.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: My... my father's here? No, I... shit. No! Tell him... tell him I'm dead, or... the rotspawn ate me! Please, Paladin, I can't see my father!<br> [[•What's wrong?]] [[•Look, I know things are rough between you, but your father loves you. He wants to make sure you're safe.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: I... I think so. I'm a little beat up, but that's nothing. Who are you, anyway? I ain't never seen you around Limerick before.<br> [[•I'm not from Limerick. I came here with your father. He's waiting for you outside.|•You're Cleet, right? Your father's outside. He came here to rescue you.]] [[•I'm a Paladin. I was hired by your father to escort his wagon.|•You're Cleet, right? Your father's outside. He came here to rescue you.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Damn scoundrels... they've been terrorizing this town for long enough. But- hey! Look, someone's breaking through the cave-in!<br> [[>>>|yousguyssavled]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: I... I think so. I'm a bit banged up, but- hey! Look, someone's breaking through the cave-in!<br> [[>>>|yousguyssavled]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: It- it's not my fault, I swear. Please, Paladin. I... I didn't have a choice! Buckaroo Bill made me do it!<br> [[•Do what?|wyt]] [[•Who the hell is Buckaroo Bill?|bbusypp]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: No, you don't understand! It- it's not my fault, I swear. Please, Paladin. I... I didn't have a choice! Buckaroo Bill made me do it!<br> [[•Do what?|wyt]] [[•Who the hell is Buckaroo Bill?|bbusypp]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: Yes... and that's why you can't tell my father about this. Anyone who's been hurt... anyone who died here today, they died because of me. My father would be so ashamed of me.<br> [[•I think the two of you have a lot of catching up to do.]] [[•That's not up to me. A lot of people got hurt today, and as a Paladin it's my duty to arrest you. Your father will find out sooner or later.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet: I know it was stupid, but... that's why you can't tell my father about this. Anyone who's been hurt... anyone who died here today, they died because of me. My father would be so ashamed of me.<br> [[•I think the two of you have a lot of catching up to do.]] [[•That's not up to me. A lot of people got hurt today, and as a Paladin it's my duty to arrest you. Your father will find out sooner or later.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet hangs his head. Just then a burst of light illuminates the tunnel. Someone is breaking through the collapsed rocks!<br> [[>>>|itsthemifound]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: I'm almost through, we've got a loose spot right here- hey! It's them! I found 'em! Paladin, is everyone okay in there? Is Cleet all right?<br> [[•We're here, Pappy. Everyone is fine.]] [[•Cleet took a nasty knock to the head, but he should be fine.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Cleet! My boy! My son! Paladin, you saved my son! Bless you, Paladin, bless your soul!!<br> [[>>>|guhsuhs]]

<<display "HUD">> Cleet looks at you with a look of hope on his face. You grab a rock and smack it over his head, knocking him unconscious. It isn't long before the miners manage to clear away the rubble and rescue you.<br> [[>>>|yoursaved]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck: Cleet! Shit, Paladin, his head's bleeding pretty good but it looks like he'll be just fine. Here, leave him to me. I'll make sure he gets patched up. Thank you so much, Paladin. I don't know how I can ever repay you!<br> [[•Don't mention it.]] [[•Got any extra gold on you? I'm running a bit low on funds.]]

<<display "HUD">> Pappy Sawbuck gives you a big hug and thanks you again. You exit the cave and leave the miners to clean up the rest of the mess. The Sixgun Kids are nowhere to be seen, and all the rotspawn are dead. Pappy Sawbuck and Cleet may have a long way to go before they can forgive each other, but you're optimistic about their future together.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<set $gold += 32>>\ <div class="inv">\ +32 GOLD PIECES </div> Pappy Sawbuck: Right, right! Of course! Here you are, I'd give you all the gold in the world if I could. You've done a great service for me today, Paladin. Thank you.<br> [[>>>|youextisheunlles]]

<<display "HUD">> You exit the cave and leave the miners to clean up the rest of the mess. The Sixgun Kids are nowhere to be seen, and all the rotspawn are dead. Pappy Sawbuck and Cleet may have a long way to go before they can forgive each other, but you're optimistic about their future together.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> Just then the collapsed rubble crumbles away and the miners begin to cheer. The rescue team pulls you out of the tunnel and thanks you for your help.<br> [[>>>|thanks4sy7]]

<<display "HUD">> You exit the cave and leave the miners to clean up the rest of the mess. The Sixgun Kids are nowhere to be seen, and all the rotspawn are dead. You can rest easy knowing that these men are safe for now.<br> [[>>>|totwone]]

<<display "HUD">> What would you like to do?<br> [[•Buy pizza|buypizza]] (5 gold pieces) [[•Buy a new weapon|newweapons]] (25 gold pieces) [[•Upgrade your weapons]] (30 gold pieces) [[•Leave|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> You follow the map and make your way towards the spot indicated near Sawbuck Mine.<br> [[>>>|tosawbuck2]]

<<if $gold gte 5>>\ <<set $gold -= 5>>\ <<set $pizza += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ PIZZA ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You bought a slice of pizza! Added to inventory.<br> [[>>>|•Go to the store]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|•Go to the store]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> What would you like to buy?<br> [[•A katana]] (+1 BRAWN) [[•A shotgun]] (+1 GRIT) [[•Shyfter Steel Pistols]] (+1 SKILL) [[•A magic staff]] (+1 MAGIC) [[•Go back|•Go to the store]]

<<display "HUD">> Which weapon will you upgrade?<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Katana|upkat]] (+2 BRAWN) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Shotgun|upshotgun]] (+2 GRIT) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Shyfter Steel Pistols|uppistonsl]] (+2 SKILL) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Magic Staff|upmacigs]] (+2 MAGIC) <</if>>\ [[•Go back|•Go to the store]]

<<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You already have a katana!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> That will be 25 gold pieces.<br> [[•Buy|buykatana]] [[•Go back|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You already have a shotgun!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> That will be 25 gold pieces.<br> [[•Buy|buyshotgun]] [[•Go back|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You already have Shyfter Steel Pistols!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> That will be 25 gold pieces.<br> [[•Buy|buyshyftsn]] [[•Go back|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You already have a magic staff!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> That will be 25 gold pieces.<br> [[•Buy|buysmagic]] [[•Go back|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 25>>\ <<set $gold -= 25>>\ <<set $brawn += 1>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Katana")>>\ <div class="inv">\ KATANA ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You bought a katana.<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 25>>\ <<set $gold -= 25>>\ <<set $grit += 1>> <<set $hp += 2>>\ <<set $maxHP += 2>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Shotgun")>>\ <div class="inv">\ SHOTGUN ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You bought a shotgun.<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 25>>\ <<set $gold -= 25>>\ <<set $skill += 1>> <<set $inventory.push("Shyfter Steel Pistols")>>\ <div class="inv">\ PISTOLS ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You bought Shyfter Steel Pistols.<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 25>>\ <<set $gold -= 25>>\ <<set $magic += 1>> <<set $inventory.push("Magic Staff")>>\ <div class="inv">\ MAGIC STAFF ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You bought a magic staff.<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|newweapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 30>>\ <<set $gold -= 30>>\ <<set $brawn += 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ UPGRADE COMPLETE </div> You upgraded your Katana. It's extra sharp now!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 30>>\ <<set $gold -= 30>>\ <<set $grit += 2>>\ <<set $hp += 4>>\ <<set $maxHP += 4>>\ <div class="inv">\ UPGRADE COMPLETE </div> You upgraded your Shotgun. Sexy!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 30>>\ <<set $gold -= 30>>\ <<set $skill += 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ UPGRADE COMPLETE </div> You upgraded your Shyfter Steel Pistols. Hooray!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <</if>>\

<<if $gold gte 30>>\ <<set $gold -= 30>>\ <<set $magic += 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ UPGRADE COMPLETE </div> You upgraded your Magic Staff. This will make your spells more effective!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You don't have enough gold!<br> [[>>>|•Upgrade your weapons]] <</if>>\

<<if visited("beforewakesup")>>\ <<display "HUD">> You spot Princess Lute saddling a horse. She waves as you approach.<br> [[>>>|lutiethanks]] <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> A young woman is brushing the dirt off a horse. She smiles at you.<br> [[>>>|howdypardod]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Paladin! I didn't think you were gonna come. I'm just about to get the hell out of this town, but I wanted to thank you first.<br> [[•I don't need any thanks. I was just doing my job.]] [[•Why did you stay there if the barman treated you so poorly?]]

<<display "HUD">> Sadie: Howdy, Paladin. We're about to close up shop for the day, but why don't you stop by another time?<br> [[>>>|stopanother]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Even so, I think you'll find some use for this. I may not be a Paladin, but I still know a little magic. Here, watch this.<br> [[>>>|yougetmagic]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Please don't judge me too harshly, Paladin. It was a difficult situation for me and I'd really rather not talk about it. All I'll say is Whiskey Jim got me out of a bad situation and so... I owed him. But he changed.<br> [[•I'm sorry to hear that.]] [[•Where will you go?]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: Don't pay it any mind. What's done is done. For now, I have something I'd like to show you. I may not be a Paladin, but I still know a little magic. Here, watch this.<br> [[>>>|yougetmagic]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute: I hear there's a secret mage school in Red Rock. I suppose I'll head there... which reminds me, there's something I want to show you. I may not be a Paladin, but I still know a little magic. Here, watch this.<br> [[>>>|yougetmagic]]

<<set $magic += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 MAGIC </div> Princess Lute performs a series of intricate movements with her fingers. You do your best to follow. Suddenly you feel a burst of magical energy within you, as if a mystical floodgate had just opened in your heart. MAGIC increased by 1!<br> [[•Thank you, Princess Lute.|byelutie]] [[•Safe travels, Princess Lute.|byelutie]]

<<display "HUD">> Princess Lute hops on her horse and rides off into the mountains. You return to the center of town.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> The girl finishes brushing the horse and heads home. You return to the center of town.<br> [[>>>|mainstreet]]

<<display "HUD">> As you approach the magnificent structure you notice two entry points: the elaborately decorated front door and what appears to be an old shed.<br> [[•Knock on the front door]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Punch a cow]]

<<display "HUD">> You knock on the front door but there is no answer. You don’t see any lights on in the house, but the door is unlocked.<br> [[•Go inside]] [[•Investigate the shed]]

<<display "HUD">> The shed is locked.<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Bill's key") gte 0>>\ [[•Use key|upkattt]] <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Rusty axe") gte 0>>\ [[•Smash the lock with the rusty axe|hatch]] <</if>>\ [[•Go back and knock on the front door|•Knock on the front door]]

<<display "HUD">> Cow: Moo.<br> [[•Knock on the front door]] [[•Investigate the shed]]

<<display "HUD">> You push the door open and find yourself standing in an enormous foyer. The place has been trashed. The fine paintings on the walls have been slashed to ribbons, the furniture has been knocked all around, and dozens of empty whiskey bottles litter the floor.<br> [[•Investigate the living room]] [[•Investigate the kitchen]] [[•Go upstairs]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Leave]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("livingroom2")>>\ Nothing more to be found here.<br> [[•Investigate the kitchen]] [[•Go upstairs]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Leave]] <<else>>\ You enter the living room.<br> [[>>>|livingroom2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("kitchen2")>>\ Nothing more to be found here.<br> [[•Investigate the living room]] [[•Go upstairs]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Leave]] <<else>>\ You enter the kitchen.<br> [[>>>|kitchen2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You climb the stairs. Your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you arrive at the top. A severed elk head has been mounted on the wall just inches away from your face. Its lifeless eyes stare out at you. Creepy.<br> [[>>>|moseheads]]

<<display "HUD">> You turn to leave, but at that moment the door swings open and you see a fat man enter. He is dragging a girl behind him. She's tied to a chair, and she appears to be unconscious. Just then he notices you.<br> [[>>>|inmyshoysd]]

<<display "HUD">> You continue your exploration until you come to a small room at the end of a hallway. You peek inside. A strange weapon has been placed on the table.<br> [[•Examine the weapon]] [[•Go back downstairs]]

<<display "HUD">> This device is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. It appears to be a rifle of some sort, but it’s made of a mysterious glowing metal. Buttons and switches run down the side of the barrel, and liquid-filled tubes connect to canisters attached at the base.<br> [[•Take the alien gun]] [[•Go back downstairs]]

<<display "HUD">> You head downstairs. At that moment the door swings open and you see a fat man enter. He is dragging a girl behind him. She's tied to a chair, and she appears to be unconscious. Just then he notices you.<br> [[>>>|inmyshoysd]]

<<set $inventory.push("Alien Gun")>>\ <div class="inv">\ ALIEN GUN ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You take the alien gun and head downstairs. At that moment the door swings open and you see a fat man enter. He is dragging a girl behind him. She's tied to a chair, and she appears to be unconscious. Just then he notices you.<br> [[>>>|inmyshoysd]]

<<display "HUD">> You unlock the door and step inside.<br> [[>>>|theshed]]

<<display "HUD">> You smash the lock with the rusty axe. The door creaks open.<br> [[>>>|theshed]]

<<set $inventory.push("Rusty axe")>>\ <div class="inv">\ RUSTY AXE ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> You take the rusty axe.<br> [[•Investigate the living room]] [[•Go upstairs]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Leave]]

<<display "HUD">> This room smells like cigar smoke and piss. There is a single chair in the corner. A still-smoldering cigar and a half-finished glass of whiskey rest on a small table. Someone must have been here just a few minutes ago.<br> [[•Investigate the kitchen]] [[•Go upstairs]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Leave]]

<<display "HUD">> The kitchen is a disaster. Plates and cups have been smashed all over the floor. Rotten food festers in a barrel. Worst of all is the bloody carcass of a butchered moose, which rots on the table. A swarm of flies feasts on its eyeballs. There is a rusty axe on the floor.<br> [[•Take the axe]] [[•Investigate the living room]] [[•Go upstairs]] [[•Investigate the shed]] [[•Leave]]

<<display "HUD">> The tiny shed is illuminated by the glow of half a dozen candles. Bloody pentagrams and other demonic symbols have been smeared across the walls and floor. In the center of the room you see a girl tied to a chair. She appears to be unconscious.<br> [[•Untie the girl]] [[•Get the hell out of this creepy place]]

<<display "HUD">> You approach the girl and reach for the ropes binding her wrists when suddenly you hear a voice. You look up and see a fat, mustachioed man standing in the doorway holding a shotgun.<br> [[>>>|iwouldnt]]

<<display "HUD">> You turn to leave but there's a man standing in the doorway. He's pointing a shotgun right in your face.<br> [[>>>|shouldaknowns]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: I wouldn't do that if I were you, Paladin.<br> [[•What the hell is going on here?]] [[•Buckaroo Bill, I presume?]] [[•Is this your missing daughter?]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: This ain't none of your concern. Step away from the girl and leave my property and I'll forget I ever saw you.<br> [[•You're going to jail for this.]] [[•I'll kill you for this.]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: That's right. Now step away from the girl and leave my property and I'll forget I ever saw you.<br> [[•You're going to jail for this.]] [[•I'll kill you for this.]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: P-please... don't hurt my daddy. It... it isn't his fault. He isn't himself...<br> [[•What are you talking about?|•What?]] [[•Your father is in a lot of trouble. I need to arrest him.]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: P-please... don't hurt my daddy. It... it isn't his fault. He isn't himself...<br> [[•What are you talking about?|•What?]] [[•Your father is a monster. I have to kill him.]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: Don't listen to a word she says, Paladin! She's been possessed by a demon. Don't let her speak or she'll cast a spell on you!<br> [[•I don't believe you, Bill. Myrtle, tell me why your father did this to you.]] [[•A demon? I should have known. Do you have a plan to deal with her?]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: You don't understand. It was the lady... the mean lady. She's taken control of my daddy's mind. He's fallen under her spell. She made him send the Sixgun Kids to the mine... to resurrect the Shyfter. She's a powerful sorceress. She wants to summon Namtar...<br> [[•Is this true, Buckaroo Bill?]] [[•Who is this woman?]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: Don't listen to her, Paladin! She's a devious little witch. I locked her up for her own good. Don't get caught up in her trickery!<br> [[•Listen to Bill]] [[•Believe Myrtle]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("fireahead")>>\ Cassidy: That would be me.<br> [[•Cassidy!?]] [[•You! What the hell are you doing here!?]] <<else>>\ Cassidy: That would be me.<br> [[•And just who might you be?]] [[•Explain yourself.]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: Your services are no longer needed, Bill. The Sixgun Kids did their jobs well. They've discovered the hidden entrance to the crypt of Namtar. Even now the final preparations for the summoning ritual are being completed.<br> [[>>>|outofastupor]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: We need to burn her. I came here tonight to burn down this shed once and for all. Fire is the only way to ensure the demon will never return.<br> [[•But... you can't just burn her! She's your daughter!]] [[•Very well. Let's burn this place to the ground and be done with it.]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: Shitfucking Paladin!<br> [[>>>|buckarootaskcs]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: It was the lady... the mean lady. She's taken control of my daddy's mind. He's fallen under her spell. She made him send the Sixgun Kids to the mine... to resurrect the Shyfter. She's a powerful sorceress. She wants to summon Namtar...<br> [[•Is this true, Buckaroo Bill?]] [[•Who is this woman?]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("theshed")>>\ Buckaroo Bill: We need to burn her. I came here tonight to burn down this shed once and for all. Fire is the only way to ensure the demon will never return.<br> [[•But... you can't just burn her! She's your daughter!]] [[•Very well. Let's burn this place to the ground and be done with it.]] <<else>>\ Buckaroo Bill: We need to burn her. I came here tonight to burn down this ranch once and for all. Fire is the only way to ensure the demon will never return.<br> [[•But... you can't just burn her! She's your daughter!]] [[•Very well. Let's burn this place to the ground and be done with it.]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: I thought I heard someone creeping around on my property.<br> [[•What the hell is going on here?]] [[•Buckaroo Bill, I presume?]] [[•Is this your missing daughter?]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: No. Not anymore. My daughter died over a month ago. That... THING is nothing more than a monster wearing my daughter's skin.<br> [[•Very well. Let's burn this place to the ground and be done with it.]] [[•I'm sorry, Bill, but I can't let you kill your own daughter.]]

<<display "HUD">> The girl shrieks with rage as you prepare to burn everything down. Suddenly her eyes begin to glow. The wind picks up and she slowly begins to float in the air.<br> [[>>>|namtarisall]]

<<display "HUD">> The girl begins to cackle. Her eyes glow with a hellish fire. The wind picks up and she slowly begins to float in the air.<br> [[>>>|namtarisall]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: THIS WILL NOT BE MY END. NAMTAR WILL RISE. NAMTAR IS LIFE. NAMTAR IS ALL. NAMTAR WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOULS!<br> [[>>>|theropescomeplduyf]]

<<display "HUD">> The ropes binding Myrtle untie themselves and come flying at you. Myrtle is free... she attacks!<br> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Katana") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your katana|kanatax098]] (BRAWN +$brawn) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shotgun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your shotgun|shortgun8907]] (GRIT +$grit) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Magic Staff") gte 0>>\ [[•Use magic|uspell7890]] (MAGIC +$magic) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Shyfter Steel Pistols") gte 0>>\ [[•Use your pistols|usistolpis089]] (SKILL +$skill) <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Silver Bullets") gte 0>>\ [[•Use the Silver Bullets]] <</if>>\ <<if $inventory.indexOf("Alien Gun") gte 0>>\ [[•Use the alien gun|usistolpillls089]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You snatch the pistol off Bill's hip and load it with the Silver Bullets in less than a heartbeat. You point the gun at Myrtle and pull the trigger.<br> [[>>>|silverkiller]]

<<display "HUD">> The girl drops to the ground, shrieking. You watch as the demon tries to pry itself out of her body, but you unload the rest of the Silver Bullets into the ephemeral beast. The demon dissolves into smoke. You twirl the gun and hand it back to Buckaroo Bill.<br> [[>>>|billthanks]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: Thank you, Paladin. You've done me a great service today, but I fear there are greater powers at work here. It was Myrtle, not me, who commanded the Sixgun Kids to blast apart Sawbuck Mine. I'm sure some of those men have been possessed by demons as well, and even now they are likely attempting to resurrect Namtar. You must go to the mine and stop them before it's too late!<br> [[•I will go to the mine and stop the Sixgun Kids.]] [[•My work in this town is finished. Battling ancient Shyfters isn't in my contract.]]

<<display "HUD">> You leave the ranch and make your way towards Sawbuck Mine.<br> [[>>>|tosawbuck2]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: Then I fear we are all doomed...<br> [[>>>|oneofthendn]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: A Paladin snooping around in my house? Well, this should be interesting.<br> [[•What the hell is going on here?]] [[•Buckaroo Bill, I presume?]] [[•Is this your missing daughter?]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy flicks her wrist and Bill slumps to the floor. His eyes flutter like he's just woken up from an awful nightmare.<br> [[•You bitch! I'll kill you for that!]] [[•I knew I should have left you to rot in that dungeon, Cassidy.]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy laughs and blasts you through a wall with a magic fireball. You immediately spring to your feet, ready to fight, but she's gone.<br> [[>>>|casisgone]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill raises his gun and prepares to fire.<br> [[•Kill him|killbill]] (SKILL +$skill) [[•Disarm him|disarmbill]] (BRAWN +$brawn)

<<display "HUD">> You tip your hat to Bill and leave. As you cross the border of Limerick, you notice that the sun is beginning to set. Perfect. That means you can ride off dramatically into the sunset.<br> [[>>>|workedobug]]

<<display "HUD">> Your work here is finished, Paladin. The Shyfters may rise and destroy the world, but who cares? You've done your job. Someone else can deal with that shit.<br> THE END.<br> Visit www.videogamepizza.com to play more Crypt Shyfter adventures!

<<display "HUD">> The woman flicks her wrist and Bill slumps to the floor. His eyes flutter like he's just woken up from an awful nightmare.<br> [[•You bitch! I'll kill you for that!]] [[•Hold it right there, lady! You're under arrest!]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy laughs and blasts you through a wall with a magic fireball. You immediately spring to your feet, ready to fight, but she's gone.<br> [[>>>|casisgone]]

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|bessex34]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|nobang2225]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|bessexklkli]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|nobang2225]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You rip the gun out of Bill's hand and blast him in the face. His corpse twitches on the ground. You untie Myrtle.<br> [[>>>|wishyouhandlt]]

<<set $hp -= 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ -5 HP </div> You spring towards Buckaroo Bill and reach for the gun but he smashes it into your face. You crash to the ground.<br> [[>>>|checkingthehp]]

<<display "HUD">> You snatch the gun from Bill's hands and smack him in the face with it. He collapses to the ground in a heap. At that moment a woman appears in the doorway.<br> [[>>>|womandapearpf]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: I wish you hadn't had to kill my daddy, Paladin, but I suppose there was nothing else you could have done. Unfortunately, I fear your job isn't finished yet.<br> [[>>>|notfinishedytet]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: My daddy commanded the Sixgun Kids to blast apart Sawbuck Mine. I'm sure some of those men have been possessed by demons as well, and even now they are likely attempting to resurrect Namtar. You must go to the mine and stop them before it's too late!<br> [[•I will go to the mine and stop the Sixgun Kids.]] [[•My work in this town is finished. Battling ancient Shyfters isn't in my contract.|sfgksjh]]

<<display "HUD">> When you arrive, you discover that a section of the canyon wall has been blasted away, revealing a hidden tunnel. Discarded shovels, pick-axes, and empty crates are scattered around the area.<br> [[>>>|enterthefinalestage]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("fireahead")>>\ Cassidy: Oh, Bill. You useless old bag of bones.<br> [[•Cassidy!?|gt]] [[•You! What the hell are you doing here!?|gt]] <<else>>\ Cassidy: Oh, Bill. You useless old bag of bones.<br> [[•And just who might you be?|gt]] [[•Explain yourself.|gt]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy: My puppet has served his purpose. I have no further use for him or any of you. My master awaits.<br> [[•What the hell are you talking about!?]] [[•You crazy bitch! You can't kill me if I kill you first!]]

<<display "HUD">> Cassidy laughs and blasts you through a wall with a magic fireball. You immediately spring to your feet, ready to fight, but she's gone.<br> [[>>>|casisgone]]

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You have run out of HP. YOU ARE DEAD.<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> At that moment a woman steps through the door.<br> [[>>>|casagainst]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("fireahead")>>\ Cassidy: Oh, Bill. You useless old bag of bones.<br> [[•Cassidy!?|gt2]] [[•You! What the hell are you doing here!?|gt2]] <<else>>\ Cassidy: Oh, Bill. You useless old bag of bones.<br> [[•And just who might you be?|gt2]] [[•Explain yourself.|gt2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("fireahead")>>\ Cassidy flicks her wrist and Bill slumps to the floor. His eyes flutter like he's just woken up from an awful nightmare.<br> [[•You bitch! I'll kill you for that!]] [[•I knew I should have left you to rot in that dungeon, Cassidy.]] <<else>>\ The woman flicks her wrist and Bill slumps to the floor. His eyes flutter like he's just woken up from an awful nightmare.<br> [[•You bitch! I'll kill you for that!]] [[•Hold it right there, lady! You're under arrest!]] <</if>>\

<<set $talk1 = $charm + random(2,12)>>\ <div class="inv">\ Result: <<print $talk1>> </div> <<if $talk1 >= 7>>\ Success!<br> [[>>>|gudgotit]] <<else>>\ Attempt failed!<br> [[>>>|nopadoe5]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Your attacks hit successfully, but your weapons are useless against the demon! If only you had something silver...<br> [[>>>|onlyuhad]]

<<set $hp -= 5>>\ <div class="inv">\ -5 HP </div> Before you have a chance to react, the demon girl blasts you through the wall with a powerful magic fireball!<br> [[>>>|wecheckyourhp]]

<<display "HUD">> The demon girl flies past you and zips out the door, flying off into the night.<br> [[>>>|bilsuhoh]]

<<display "HUD">> Buckaroo Bill: Well, shit! That ain't good! She must be heading for Sawbuck Mine! If somebody doesn't stop her, she'll resurrect Namtar for sure! You must go to the mine and stop her before it's too late!<br> [[•I will go to the mine and stop her!|•I will go to the mine and stop the Sixgun Kids.]] [[•My work in this town is finished. Battling ancient Shyfters isn't in my contract.]]

<<if $hp lte 0>>\ You have run out of HP. YOU ARE DEAD.<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point. <<else>>\ <<display "HUD">> You brush yourself off and spring to your feet, ready to rejoin the fight. Just then, the demon girl flies past you and zips out the door, flying off into the night.<br> [[>>>|bilsuhoh]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: She must be heading for Sawbuck Mine! If somebody doesn't stop her, she'll resurrect Namtar for sure! Paladin, you must go to the mine and stop her before it's too late!<br> [[•I will go to the mine and stop her!|•I will go to the mine and stop the Sixgun Kids.]] [[•My work in this town is finished. Battling ancient Shyfters isn't in my contract.|sfgksjh]]

<<display "HUD">> You enter the cave.<br> [[>>>|enterthecave]]

<<display "HUD">> You find yourself standing in a large crumbling chamber. There are three doors: a wooden door to your left, an iron door straight ahead, and a silver door to your right. Which will you explore first?<br> [[•Wooden door]] [[•Iron door]] [[•Silver door]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|pizzachamber]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("standintinhallway")>>\ Where do you want to go?<br> [[•Follow the sound of water]] [[•Go down the stairs]] [[•Return to the main chamber|mainchamber]] <<else>>\ You open the wooden door.<br> [[>>>|standintinhallway]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("insideirondoor")>>\ Better not go back in there.<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]] <<else>>\ The iron door grinds open.<br> [[>>>|insideirondoor]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> This door is locked.<br> [[•Go back|mainchamber]] <<if $inventory.indexOf("Silver Key") gte 0>>\ [[•Use the silver key]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You unlock the door with the silver key. The room beyond looks like an ancient forge. There is a large furnace in the center of the room. An eerie glow emits from the depths of the furnace.<br> [[•Open the furnace]] [[•Return to the main chamber|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> What do you want to do?<br> [[•Go through the wooden door|•Wooden door]] [[•Go through the iron door|•Iron door]] [[•Go through the silver door|•Silver door]] <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Eat pizza|pizzachamber]] (Restore HP) <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> You open the furnace. A spectral green fire burns within. You can see a beautifully crafted pistol with a polished sandalwood grip floating in the flames. A disembodied voice calls out to you.<br> [[>>>|disbmoeuevoice]]

<<set $pizza -= 1>>\ <<set $hp = $maxHP>>\ <div class="inv">\ HP restored </div> Pizza time!<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> Spectral Voice: Prove your worth, Paladin, and answer true: "He who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father..."<br> [[•I shoot with my mind.|wronganswer]] [[•I slay with my hand.|wronganswer]] [[•I kill with my heart.|rightanswer]] [[•I aim with my eye.|wronganswer]]

<<display "HUD">> Spectral Voice: That is incorrect. You are not the Paladin I have been waiting for after all... Farewell.<br> [[>>>|clantgsuht]]

<<display "HUD">> Spectral Voice: You speak true, gunslinger. I say thankee-sai.<br> [[>>>|firedsioles]]

<<set $inventory.delete("Silver Key")>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 SILVER KEY </div> The furnace clangs shut and a powerful wind blows you from the room. The silver door closes and locks. The silver key vanishes.<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> The green fire burns itself out. The beautiful gun hovers in front of you.<br> [[•Take the gun]] [[•Leave the gun]]

<<set $skill += 3>>\ <<set $inventory.push("Gilead's Revolver")>>\ <div class="inv">\ GILEAD'S REVOLVER ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> The gun begins to glow at your touch. You examine the intricately carved designs along the barrel of the gun. A rose has been etched into the hilt. You recognize that symbol... this ancient revolver belonged to the first Paladin, Gilead Darktower! +3 SKILL.<br> [[>>>|realizenotlaod]]

<<set $inventory.delete("Silver Key")>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 SILVER KEY </div> You step away from the gun. The voice you heard earlier groans. The gun returns to its spot inside the furnace, which clangs shut. A powerful wind blows you from the room. The silver door closes and locks. The silver key vanishes.<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]]

<<set $inventory.delete("Silver Key")>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 SILVER KEY </div> You suddenly notice the ghostly outline of a wizened old Paladin standing before you. The ghost tips his hat to you and vanishes into the shadows. You exit the room and the door clangs shut behind you. The silver key vanishes.<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> Myrtle: Then I fear we are all doomed...<br> [[>>>|oneofthendndfasd]]

<<display "HUD">> You tip your hat to Myrtle and leave. As you cross the border of Limerick, you notice that the sun is beginning to set. Perfect. That means you can ride off dramatically into the sunset.<br> [[>>>|workedobug]]

<<display "HUD">> The walls begin to crumble away as soon as you approach the bodies. Rotspawn are digging their way out of the walls!<br> [[•Fight them]] [[•Return to the main chamber and slam the door shut]]

<<display "HUD">> You head down the passageway and emerge into a small stone grotto. A pool of crystal clear water bubbles in the center of the chamber. This grotto was once used as a campsite, but nothing remains except empty bags and old bones.<br> [[•Drink the water]] [[•Examine the bones]] [[•Go back|•Wooden door]]

<<set $endone = 0>>\ <<set $endtwo = 0>>\ <<set $endthree = 0>>\ <<display "HUD">> You see an injured barbarian lying at the bottom of the stairs. He gives you a sheepish grin.<br> [[>>>|kfsbishere]]

<<display "HUD">> You find yourself standing in a stone hallway. To your left you can see a set of stairs leading down deeper into the mountain. To the right you can hear the echoing sound of dripping water. Where do you want to go?<br> [[•Follow the sound of water]] [[•Go down the stairs]] [[•Return to the main chamber|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> You find yourself standing in an old guard room. Racks of rusty weapons and suits of armor line the walls. A torch flickers in the corner, illuminating half a dozen corpses strewn across the floor. They're members of the Sixgun Kids! The bodies have been ripped to shreds.<br> [[•Search the bodies for loot]] [[•Return to the main chamber|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("yourugly")>>\ Don't be stupid! Your face would turn into a butt if you drank any more of that water. You're already ugly enough.<br> [[•Examine the bones]] [[•Go back|•Wooden door]] <<else>>\ You scoop a handful of water into your mouth.<br> [[>>>|yourugly]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("takesilverkey")>>\ Nothing more to be found here.<br> [[•Drink the water]] [[•Go back|•Wooden door]] <<else>>\ The bones turn to dust when you touch them. One of the skeletons was clutching a silver key.<br> [[•Take the key|takesilverkey]] [[•Drink the water]] [[•Go back|•Wooden door]] <</if>>\

<<set $charm -= 2>>\ <div class="inv">\ -2 CHARM </div> It's refreshing, but your reflection suddenly begins to change. Your super sexy face bubbles and melts into a hideous visage! You got ugly. -2 CHARM.<br> [[•Examine the bones]] [[•Go back|•Wooden door]]

<<set $inventory.push("Silver Key")>>\ <div class="inv">\ SILVER KEY ADDED TO INVENTORY </div> Silver Key added to inventory.<br> [[•Drink the water]] [[•Go back|•Wooden door]]

<<display "HUD">> You attack the rotspawn, but they turn into tables! Something strange is going on here... this must be one of the side effects of Shyfter magic. You exit the room.<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> You sprint outside and slam the door shut. You can hear the rotspawn smashing against the other side of the door, but luckily they don't know how to turn a door handle. Hopefully it'll hold...<br> [[>>>|mainchamber]]

<<display "HUD">> You point the alien gun at Myrtle and pull the trigger. An overcharged beam of energy rips through her body and blows a hole in the roof! You fire again as the demon tries to escape Myrtle's body and completely incinerate the fucker. Bill wipes the sweat from his forehead.<br> [[>>>|billthanks]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Oh, good! You made it. Would have been nice if you'd showed up about five minutes ago, but at least you're here now. Look at all this blood...<br> [[•Who are you?|whokfsb]] [[•What happened to you?|whthappenfksb]] [[•You didn't see anyone trying to summon a Shyfter, did you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Me? I'm Kung Fu Space Barbarian. I wrote this game. I'd shake your hand, but I need it to staunch the flow of blood at the moment...<br> [[•What happened to you?|whthappenfksb]] [[•You didn't see anyone trying to summon a Shyfter, did you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: See that body over there? Yeah, whoever you were looking for already summoned the Shyfter. Sorry about that. Good news is they're dead though!<br> [[•WHAT!? Why didn't you stop it??]] [[•You mean I'm too late? But that means... I lost the game...]]

<<display "HUD">> The barbarian indicates a body lying nearby.<br> [[>>>|youmustsberef]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Who, them? Yeah, they successfully summoned it already. Sorry.<br> [[•WHAT!? Why didn't you stop it??]] [[•You mean I'm too late? But that means... I lost the game...]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Maybe you missed the part where I have a giant gaping wound in my chest. I tried to stop the ritual, but that damn Shyfter ripped its way out of the earth and destroyed everything in this dungeon. I barely managed to not die instantly myself. Thanks for caring.<br> [[•So what now?]] [[•There must be some way we can defeat the Shyfter and save the world... right? I mean... it can't seriously end like this, can it?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Well, not exactly. Luckily for you, I wrote this game. Therefore, I can give you a proper ending. How's that sound?<br> [[•I hate it when you do this, KuFuSpaBa...]] [[•Wait a second, if you wrote the damn thing then why didn't you just write a scene of yourself killing the Shyfter instead of letting it break free and nearly kill you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Luckily for you, I wrote this game. Therefore, I can give you a proper ending.<br> [[•I hate it when you do this, KuFuSpaBa...]] [[•Wait a second, if you wrote the damn thing then why didn't you just write a scene of yourself killing the Shyfter instead of letting it break free and nearly kill you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: You're right, there is a way. Luckily for you, I wrote this game. Therefore, I can give you a proper ending.<br> [[•I hate it when you do this, KuFuSpaBa...]] [[•Wait a second, if you wrote the damn thing then why didn't you just write a scene of yourself killing the Shyfter instead of letting it break free and nearly kill you?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Heh, I know. Let me just self-heal quick and... yep, there we go. Good as new.<br> [[•Done showing off yet?]] [[•About that Shyfter...?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: I never said I was a good writer. Let me just self-heal quick and... yep, there we go. Good as new.<br> [[•Done showing off yet?]] [[•About that Shyfter...?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Right, right. This whole "choose your path" shtick would be kinda lame if none of your choices mattered, right? So here's what I'm gonna do: You answer my questions truthfully and you'll get to choose how this whole thing ends. Deal?<br> [[•Deal.|barbdeal]] [[•What happens if I don't answer truthfully?]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Goody. First question: Did you find the alien gun?<br> [[•Yes.|yesalien]] [[•No.|noalien]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Then I'll simply vanish and leave you here in this world that's about to be destroyed by a Shyfter. And just for good measure, I'll make sure he eats you first.<br> [[•Fuck you, KuFuSpaBa.]] [[•Fine. Whatever.]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Goody. First question: Did you find the alien gun?<br> [[•Yes.|yesalien]] [[•No.|noalien]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Alien Gun") gte 0>>\ <<set $endone = 1>>\ Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Excellent! That opens up a new possible ending for you.<br> [[>>>|barbq2]] <<else>>\ Kung Fu Space Barbarian: I said answer truthfully. I'll let it slide this time cuz I'm a cool dude like that, but lie again and your ass is getting eaten by a Shyfter, and not in the fun way.<br> [[>>>|barbq2]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: That's all right. Maybe you'll find it next time.<br> [[>>>|barbq2]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Did you collect the Silver Bullets?<br> [[•Yes.|yessilvers]] [[•No.|nosilvers]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Silver Bullets") gte 0>>\ <<set $endtwo = 1>>\ Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Sweet! That will give you a new possible ending.<br> [[>>>|barbq3]] <<else>>\ Kung Fu Space Barbarian: You're a liar, Paladin. I told you to answer truthfully, but it appears you have no honor. Now you're dead.<br> [[>>>|deadpaladin]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: That was the hardest one. No judgment here.<br> [[>>>|barbq3]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Last question: Did you catch that Dark Tower reference and take Gilead's gun?<br> [[•Yes.|yessilverds]] [[•No.|nosilversd]]

<<display "HUD">> The barbarian sits down and begins to write. Suddenly Namtar appears before you!<br> [[>>>|namtarwins]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if $inventory.indexOf("Gilead's Revolver") gte 0>>\ <<set $endthree = 1>>\ Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Badass! That opens up a new alternate ending.<br> [[>>>|barbq3x]] <<else>>\ Kung Fu Space Barbarian: You're a liar, Paladin. I told you to answer truthfully, but it appears you have no honor. Now you're dead.<br> [[>>>|deadpaladin]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Aw, bummer. Maybe next time.<br> [[>>>|barbq3x]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: All right, based on the items you collected... these are the endings you get to pick from. Choose wisely.<br> [[•Namtar's Brain Buster|•The Classic]] <<if $endthree == 1>>\ [[•Fart Jokes At High Noon|•The Shootout]] <</if>>\ <<if $endtwo == 1>>\ [[•Riddles of the Sun Eater|•Werewolves, Vampires, and Ghosts, oh my!]] <</if>>\ <<if $endone == 1>>\ [[•Logic Puzzles of the Star King|•Star King's Fury]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: An excellent choice. Before you go, I have one last question... do you have any pizza? I'm starving!<br> <<if $pizza gte 1>>\ [[•Sure, have a slice.]] <</if>>\ [[•No, sorry.]]

<<set $pizza -= 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ -1 PIZZA </div> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Sweet! Thank you!<br> [[>>>|gobblegobble]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Aw, man... that's too bad. I would have traded ya something nice for a slice of pizza. Oh, well. No use crying over spilled zooga juice.<br> [[>>>|magicportal]]

<<display "HUD">> The barbarian scarfs down the pizza and unleashes a massive burp.<br> [[>>>|ilovepiza]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: That hit the spot! Since you've acted with such inspiring badassity up to this point, and you were kind enough to give me a slice of your pizza, I think we can have a little bit of "extra silly" fun...<br> [[>>>|greatestwish]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Tell me, $name: what is your greatest wish?<br> [[•I want max stats!]] [[•I want 1 million gold pieces!]] [[•I want to have sex with you!]] [[•I want to shit in my pants!]]

<<set $maxHP = 100>>\ <<set $hp = 100>>\ <<set $brawn = 12>>\ <<set $grit = 12>>\ <<set $wits = 12>>\ <<set $charm = 12>>\ <<set $magic = 12>>\ <<set $skill = 12>>\ <div class="inv">\ ALL STATS MAXED! </div> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Done.<br> [[>>>|magicportal]]

<<set $gold = 1000000>>\ <div class="inv">\ +1 MILLION GOLD! </div> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Done.<br> [[>>>|magicportal]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Done.<br> [[>>>|magicportalkk]]

<<display "HUD">> I will describe the sex scene in three words: FOUNTAINS. OF. CUM.<br> [[>>>|pulligonpants]]

<<display "HUD">> The cross-eyed barbarian buttons up his pants and swaggers over to the wall. He presses a button and a magic portal opens.<br> [[>>>|magicportal]]

<<display "HUD">> Kung Fu Space Barbarian: Now, if you'll please step through this magic portal... I believe you have a world to save.<br> [[>>>|entertheposrth]]

<<display "HUD">> You step into the magic story portal and arrive at the climactic finale!<br> [[>>>|climaxfin]]

<<stopallaudio>>\ <<audio "poop" loop play>>\ <div class="inv">\ YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS! </div> You instantly shit in your pants and unlock a secret song. The barbarian giggles presses a button on the wall. A magic portal opens.<br> [[>>>|magicportal]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if visited("•The Classic")>>\ You are standing on the main street of Limerick. Everything is in flames.<br> [[>>>|finale1]] <<elseif visited("•The Shootout")>>\ You are standing on the main street of Limerick. The wind whips around you, making your long trench coat flutter and flap. You grit your teeth and squint into the wind.<br> [[>>>|finale2]] <<elseif visited("•Werewolves, Vampires, and Ghosts, oh my!")>>\ A black tower stands before you. Dark clouds swirl around the uppermost spires. The main gate swings open.<br> [[>>>|finale3]] <<else>>\ The mountain begins to rumble and shake. Just then the walls crumble away and you realize you're standing in some sort of metal facility. You run to the window and watch in horror as the earth falls away... you're flying!<br> [[>>>|finale4]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Namtar stands before you. He laughs at your misfortune.<br> [[>>>|namtarslaughts]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar is standing before you. He's holding Gilead Darktower's ghost by the throat, absorbing the remnants of the ancient gunslinger's magic.<br> [[>>>|fartsbegin]]

<<display "HUD">> <<set $guesses = 0>>\ Namtar emerges, surrounded by a host of vampires, werewolves, and ghostly unicorns.<br> [[>>>|unis]]

<<display "HUD">> Suddenly you see a starship speeding towards you. The ship smashes into yours and Namtar rips his way inside!<br> [[>>>|namtarinspace]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: So you are the one this fool spoke of... I see you carry his gun! He may have slain me with that accursed weapon centuries ago, but I have grown stronger in my absence from this world. I will not be defeated again!<br> [[•You Shyfters are all alike... you monologue too much!]] [[•I challenge you to a fart joke contest!]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: Then this is where the talking ends... and the joking begins! If you can guess the answers to 3 out of 5 of my best fart jokes, I will let the gunslinger live. Prepare to die laughing!<br> [[>>>|firstjoke]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: Ah! Fart jokes... my favorite past time. Very well, Paladin. If you can guess the answers to 3 out of 5 of my best fart jokes, I will let the gunslinger live. Prepare to die laughing!<br> [[>>>|firstjoke]]

<<display "HUD">> <<set $guesses = 0>>\ Namtar: What do you call a person who doesn't fart in public?<br> [[•A prude|wrong1]] [[•A secret stinker|wrong1]] [[•A private tutor]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: That is incorrect. I look forward to devouring your soul! Next question: What cooks faster than an Azmarian microwave?<br> [[•A Fuzonian stone|wrong2]] [[•A Dutch oven]] [[•An Andraxxan grill|wrong2]]

<div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> <<set $guesses += 1>>\ Namtar: Hahaha! Very good, Paladin. Next question: What cooks faster than an Azmarian microwave?<br> [[•A Fuzonian stone|wrong2]] [[•A Dutch oven]] [[•An Andraxxan grill|wrong2]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Wrong! If you couldn't guess the answer to that, you will never guess the answer to this one: What do you call a dinosaur's fart?<br> [[•A prehistoric pew|wrong3]] [[•A blast from the past]] [[•Noxious gas|wrong3]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Clever. But you will never guess the answer to this one: What do you call a dinosaur's fart?<br> [[•A prehistoric pew|wrong3]] [[•A blast from the past]] [[•Noxious gas|wrong3]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Your knowledge of fart jokes is lacking. That is not the correct answer. Next question: What do you call a king's fart?<br> [[•Royal pew|wrong4]] [[•High stink|wrong4]] [[•Noble gas]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Your knowledge of fart jokes is very impressive. Next question: What do you call a king's fart?<br> [[•Royal pew|wrong4]] [[•High stink|wrong4]] [[•Noble gas]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Nope, that is incorrect... final question: What did the priest say before flushing?<br> [[•Holy crap!]] [[•Poop-a-doodle-doo!]] [[•Hey, that's not a fart joke! That's a poop joke!]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Hmmm, yes. Very good... final question: What did the priest say before flushing?<br> [[•Holy crap!]] [[•Poop-a-doodle-doo!]] [[•Hey, that's not a fart joke! That's a poop joke!]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: That is correct. It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 fart jokes correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoons]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: That is incorrect. It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 fart jokes correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoons]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: You got me there, Paladin. I'll give you that one. It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 fart jokes correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoons]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if $guesses gte 3>>\ Namtar: Agh! You have answered enough correctly to defeat me in fart joke combat! This... cannot... be...! AGH!!!!<br> [[>>>|namtarloses]] <<else>>\ Namtar: You have failed to answer enough of my fart jokes. Now I will devour your soul!<br> [[>>>|namtarwins]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Namtar drops Gilead and explodes into flames. He burns away into nothingness. Gilead takes a deep breath, smiles, and vanishes into the wind.<br> [[>>>|ontothenedn]]

<div class="inv">\ GAME OVER </div> Namtar devours your soul. YOU ARE DEAD.<br> Open the sidebar to restart or load from a save point.

<<display "HUD">> You look around and see that everything is back to normal. It's almost as though the Shyfter never existed at all...<br> [[>>>|lastpage400]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: A Paladin has come to my Fortress of Fear! How wonderful. Since it is clear you cannot best me in physical combat, I propose a challenge: Answer 3 out of my 5 riddles correctly and I will let you live. Fail to do so... and I will devour your soul!<br> [[•Bring it on, dipshit|doworst]] [[•Do your worst!|doworst]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: First question: You can break me without touching me or even seeing me. What am I?<br> [[•A promise]] [[•Wind]] [[•My heart]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Very clever, Paladin. Next question: I'm an odd number. If you take away one letter in my name, I become even. What number am I?<br> [[•Nine|wronga]] [[•Seven]] [[•Five|wronga]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ NICE FART JOKE! </div> Namtar: Ah! Ahaha! You made a fart joke! Not the answer I was looking for, but I will accept it. Next question: I'm an odd number. If you take away one letter in my name, I become even. What number am I?<br> [[•Nine|wronga]] [[•Seven]] [[•Five|wronga]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: That is incorrect. Next question: I'm an odd number. If you take away one letter in my name, I become even. What number am I?<br> [[•Nine|wronga]] [[•Seven]] [[•Five|wronga]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Wrong! How about this one: A girl falls off a 30-foot ladder but doesn't get hurt. How is this possible?<br> [[•She's a witch|wrongb]] [[•She fell on pillows|wrongb]] [[•She fell off the bottom step]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Yes, that is most perceptive of you. How about this one: A girl falls off a 30-foot ladder but doesn't get hurt. How is this possible?<br> [[•She's a witch|wrongb]] [[•She fell on pillows|wrongb]] [[•She fell off the bottom step]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Nope. I'll be eating your soul soon. There are 3 apples on the table. You take away 2 of them. How many do you have now?<br> [[•1|wrongc]] [[•2]] [[•3|wrongc]] [[•5|wrongc]] [[•6|wrongc]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Indeed. There are 3 apples on the table. You take away 2 of them. How many do you have now?<br> [[•1|wrongc]] [[•2]] [[•3|wrongc]] [[•5|wrongc]] [[•6|wrongc]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: What, are you stupid? Wrong answer, Paladin! Last question: What has 13 hearts but no other organs?<br> [[•A piano|wrongd]] [[•A deck of cards]] [[•A Shyfter's cat|wrongd]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: That's right. Last question: What has 13 hearts but no other organs?<br> [[•A piano|wrongd]] [[•A deck of cards]] [[•A Shyfter's cat|wrongd]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: That is not the answer I was looking for. It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 riddles correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoonsx]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Bingo. It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 riddles correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoonsx]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if $guesses gte 3>>\ Namtar: Agh! No... you have solved enough riddles to defeat me! My lies... my deceptions... my shapeshifting! You're too badass! NO!!!!<br> [[>>>|namtarloses2]] <<else>>\ Namtar: You have failed to answer enough of my riddles. Now I will devour your soul!<br> [[>>>|namtarwins]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Namtar morphs into a dragon, a cat, a mouse, a fish, a bird, a fish again, and finally transforms into a monkey before exploding into a fountain of goo.<br> [[>>>|epxloduhg]]

<<display "HUD">> The ghosts and vampires and werewolves burst into flames and the Fortress of Fear crumbles to ash.<br> [[>>>|backinlsum]]

<<display "HUD">> You suddenly find yourself standing back in Limerick. Half a dozen Sixgun Kids are chained together near the jail. The barbarian you met earlier emerges from the saloon with a bottle of wine and a slice of bacon pizza. He gives you a wink before sauntering off down the road.<br> [[>>>|moreendings]]

<<display "HUD">> You look around and see that everything is back to normal. It's almost as though the Shyfter never existed at all...<br> [[>>>|lastpage400]]

<<display "HUD">> Satisfied that all is well in Limerick, you leave the town and wander off into the sunset. There are more adventures waiting for you on the horizon... in the next exciting episode of CRYPT SHYFTER!!<br> [[THE END!]]

Congratulations! You have reached the end of Crypt Shyfter: Limerick! If you enjoyed this adventure, come visit me at www.videogamepizza.com for more Crypt Shyfter adventures, or sign up to get notified of new adventures as soon as they come out. See ya next time!

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: A Paladin! Do you think you can save this pathetic town? Since it is clear you cannot best me in physical combat, I propose a challenge: Answer 3 out of my 5 riddles correctly and I will let you live. Fail to do so... and I will devour your soul!<br> [[•Bring it on, dipshit|doworst4]] [[•Do your worst!|doworst4]]

<<display "HUD">> <<set $guesses = 0>>\ Namtar: First question: What is greater than the Allfather, more evil than a Shyfter, peasants have it, nobles need it, and if you eat it you die?<br> [[•Nothing]] [[•Money|wrong7]] [[•Food|wrong7]] [[•A family|wrong7]] [[•A dragon|wrong7]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Very good, Paladin. Next question: Who makes it has no need of it, who buys it has no use for it, who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?<br> [[•A sword|wrong8]] [[•A blanket|wrong8]] [[•A coffin]] [[•A castle|wrong8]] [[•A suit of armor|wrong8]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: I'll eat your soul if you get too many more wrong. Next question: Who makes it has no need of it, who buys it has no use for it, who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?<br> [[•A sword|wrong8]] [[•A blanket|wrong8]] [[•A coffin]] [[•A castle|wrong8]] [[•A suit of armor|wrong8]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Wrong! Let's try another one: I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I?<br> [[•A tree|wrong9]] [[•A candle]] [[•A cat|wrong9]] [[•A king|wrong9]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: That's right, and you'll be needing one by the time we're finished! Let's try another one: I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I?<br> [[•A tree|wrong9]] [[•A candle]] [[•A cat|wrong9]] [[•A king|wrong9]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: That is incorrect. What has a head and tail but no body?<br> [[•A coin]] [[•A mouse|wrong10]] [[•A rope|wrong10]] [[•A ghost|wrong10]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Very clever indeed. What has a head and tail but no body?<br> [[•A coin]] [[•A mouse|wrong10]] [[•A rope|wrong10]] [[•A ghost|wrong10]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Most impressive. Last one! Take off my skin. I won't cry, but you will. What am I?<br> [[•A fire drake|wrong11]] [[•A slice of bread|wrong11]] [[•An onion]] [[•A doppelganger|wrong11]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Your failure brings me great joy. Last one! Take off my skin. I won't cry, but you will. What am I?<br> [[•A fire drake|wrong11]] [[•A slice of bread|wrong11]] [[•An onion]] [[•A doppelganger|wrong11]]

<div class="inv">\ INCORRECT </div> Namtar: Wrong! It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 riddles correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoonsxg]]

<<set $guesses += 1>>\ <div class="inv">\ CORRECT </div> Namtar: Bingo. It appears that you have answered $guesses out of 5 riddles correctly.<br> [[>>>|decisoonsxg]]

<<display "HUD">> <<if $guesses gte 3>>\ Namtar: Agh! No... you have solved enough riddles to defeat me! My lies... my deceptions... my shapeshifting! You're too badass! NO!!!!<br> [[>>>|namtarloses2d]] <<else>>\ Namtar: You have failed to answer enough of my riddles. Now I will devour your soul!<br> [[>>>|namtarwins]] <</if>>\

<<display "HUD">> Namtar morphs into a dragon, a cat, a mouse, a fish, a bird, a fish again, and finally transforms into a monkey before exploding into a fountain of goo.<br> [[>>>|epxloduhgg]]

<<display "HUD">> You look around and see that everything is back to normal. It's almost as though the Shyfter never existed at all...<br> [[>>>|lastpage400]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: This game ends when I say it does! You must answer two of my most mind-bending questions if you hope to live. Answer incorrectly and I will devour your soul!<br> [[•Bring it on, dipshit|doworstl]] [[•Do your worst!|doworstl]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: Four wizards have four different spirit animals. Manik's can't fly. Venger's has fur, and so does Zargon's. Zargon's spirit animal doesn't bark. What spirit animal does Mirasandra have?<br> [[•A dragon]] [[•A cerberus|wronglast]] [[•A saber cat|wronglast]] [[•A crystal shark|wronglast]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: Very clever, Paladin! But that was the easy one. This next question will destroy your mind!<br> [[>>>|minddestroyer]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: That is incorrect. Now I will devour your soul!<br> [[>>>|namtarwins]]

<<display "HUD">> Mr. Spellweaver, Mrs. Irongull, Mr. Splatts, and Mr. Tenderfoot are all teachers at the hero academy. Each teacher teaches two different subjects. Furthermore:<br> •three teachers teach swordplay; •there is only one astronomy teacher; •there are two teachers for archery; •two teachers, Kilgore and Mr. Tenderfoot, teach divination; •Grog does not teach swordplay; •Lyra is an archery teacher; •Mr. Spellweaver does not teach any course that is taught by Cyrus or Mr. Splatts.<br> Which two subjects does Mr. Spellweaver teach, and what is his first name?<br> [[Make your guess]]

<<display "HUD">> Mr. Spellweaver:<br> [[•Grog, Swordplay and Archery|nopper]] [[•Grog, Astronomy and Archery|•Astronomy and Archery]] [[•Kilgore, Swordplay and Divination|nopper]] [[•Kilgore, Archery and Divination|nopper]] [[•Cyrus, Divination and Astronomy|nopper]] [[•Cyrus, Swordplay and Astronomy|nopper]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: That is incorrect. Now I will devour your soul!<br> [[>>>|namtarwins]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar: Agh! No... you have solved my impossible logic puzzles! My lies... my deceptions... my shapeshifting! You're too badass! NO!!!!<br> [[>>>|namtarloses2v]]

<<display "HUD">> Namtar morphs into a dragon, a cat, a mouse, a fish, a bird, a fish again, and finally transforms into a monkey before exploding into a fountain of goo.<br> [[>>>|epxloduhgd]]