THIS IS THE BESTER GAME EVER MADE IN THE YEAR 2012. YOU ARE INCREDIBLY LUCKY TO BE PLAYING IT!
WE WENT BACK IN TIME SO THAT WE COULD CREATE THIS GAME AND MAKE BOLD CLAIMS ABOUT IT BEING OVER FOUR BILLIONS YEARS IN THE MAKING. NO OTHER GAME CAN MAKE SUCH A BOLD CLAIM, AND IF IT DOES, IT'S PROBABLY LYING AND YOU SHOULD REPORT IT TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES IMMEDIATELY.
YOU LIKE DINOSAURS? YOU LIKE BEACHES? THEN THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU! DO YOU LIKE GAMES? THEN THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU! DO YOU HATE GAMES? THEN THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU!
USE YOUR MOUSE TO NAVIGATE MR. DINOSAUR THROUGHOUT THE BEACH AND OCEAN AND PERFORM ALL OF THE VITAL TASKS IN ORDER TO ENSURE THAT THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T COLLAPSE ON ITSELF. YOU'LL EVEN GET MEDALS FOR DOING IT, AND YOU CAN CUT THESE MEDALS OUT OF YOUR COMPUTER MONITOR WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS AND PIN THEM TO YOUR CHEST UNTIL YOU BLEED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN YOU'RE DONE PLAYING THIS AMAZING GAME, IT IS YOUR CIVIC DUTY TO WRITE AN INCREDIBLY IN-DEPTH USER REVIEW / REPORT IN THE SECTION BELOW EXPLAINING EXACTLY WHY THIS IS THE BEST GAME YOU'VE EVER PLAYED IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. THEN CALL YOUR LOCAL NEWS STATION AND DEMAND THAT THEY AIR A REPORT ON HOW THIS GAME HAS SINGLE-HANDEDLY RID THE WORLD OF WOE.
